So we sat up front today

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First time ever for us – I was pretty nervous – but we brought the crayola “magic markers” that only write on the paper that comes with them (things appear when you color - remember those orange-cap markers we had as kids?) – and that kept my 4yr old occupied the entire mass – he sat and barely said two words – I guess we’ll ease into getting him involved with what’s going on up on the altar – for now I was happy to actually hear the readings and homily! My 2yr old was really good too - - I was shocked (pleasantly!) – she either sat with me or DH and snuggled or watched her brother coloring, or pointed out which lights up above were out, but she was quiet and during communion she stood on the kneeler and just watched all the people go by.

Funny thing – I never realized just how full the chalice is if you’re one of the first people up there – LOL – it’s always just a few sips by the time we get there…I almost spilled it b/c I was expecting it to be almost empty when I took it!!

That being said, I really actually think they were better behaved confined to the pew up front than they are when they have space to move around in the back – but I think if we weren’t in direct view of the altar, then it would be different – we’re going to have to really bust our humps to get out of the house by 8:30 or so from now on…:eek:
 
Hello

Well done, let hope things continue this way for you and your family.

God Bless
Saint Andrew.
 
my suggestion for parents of small children once past the infant stage, is to go to an early, uncrowded Mass and sit up front. once they are 3-4 and old enough to watch and observe for at least part of the time, you will be surprised by how much they learn, and how interested they are. My 4 yr old GD staged and entire Mass for us - she was priest, cantor, reader, usher, EMHC, the whole nine yards. she used some language of her own, she even had hymnals and collection baskets, but she had all the parts of the Mass down pat. now that she is in Catholic school I hope they teach her she cannot grow up to be a priest, but she sure knows the Mass.
 
Good for you leaner!!! I remember when we “graduated” to the front of church. We were anxious t/o the Mass—wondering if we’d have to bring one of the kids out, down that long aisle. It didn’t happen!!! They have all been very good Mass attendees since, no matter where we sit.
 
I wrote about my experience in Mass-not as good as yours.:o

I arrived at Sunday Mass five minutes late.

Isabella’s sandal was missing and once found I was buckling it while securing her into her car seat. And we were off to Mass!

I made the humiliating walk down the center aisle of church during the beginning of the first reading. (I like to sit up front because there is less distraction for Isabella) So there I was sitting six pews from the front when a lady in the pew ahead of me gave me “the look”. Any parent with young children knows that look. It is the look that says ‘Oh great, a little Neanderthal child who is going to fuss, cry and ruin my Mass.” I smiled at her to reassure her that we would behave (please God, let Isabella behave!).

Three minutes later, while she was playing quietly with her Crucifix and her books of the Saints, the woman in front of us huffed loudly in disgust, looked at us and stood up during the reading to go sit somewhere else. To say I was embarrassed would be an understatement. I pray for the woman, who was in front of us, maybe she just had a bad day. I was late to Mass, and I accept responsibility for that. But to make my child feel unwelcome in the house of God was unacceptable.

So I began to think ‘When did it become unacceptable to bring children to Mass’ and ‘Why are parishioners so openly rude to parents with young children?’.

It isn’t easy to bring children to Mass. My husband sings in the 11:30 choir at church and he stays home with our colicky son so I can take our daughter to 8:00 AM Mass. Having a toddler washed, dressed and fed to leave the house by 7:45 can raise issues but I believe she has just as much right to be there as anyone else.
I have heard the objection ‘Go sit in the crying room/children’s chapel’. My answer: Why?

Why should I have to be exposed to a crying room filled with sick children, screaming children and parents who don’t understand that a crying room is not a social gathering room? You don’t discuss your children’s favorite activities when Mass is being celebrated! So, I sit in the main church. This is not to say that we don’t have our rough days. Sometimes the kiddos don’t use their “indoor” voice or fidget. But when that happens we act accordingly, and take them to the back of church.

I returned home after this recent incident, frazzled and upset. This is when my husband made a really good point. “Is Isabella’s Baptism any less valid than that woman’s?” He made a good point.
Looking at the Gospel of Mark (10:13-16), we can see how Christ would react:

And people were bringing children to him that he might touch them, but the disciples rebuked them. When Jesus saw this he became indignant and said to them, “Let the children come to me; do not prevent them, for the kingdom of God belongs to such as these. Amen, I say to you, whoever does not accept the kingdom of God like a child will not enter it.” Then he embraced them and blessed them, placing his hands on them.

We are called to be the Disciples of Christ. But, let’s not be like those who rebuked those who brought their children to Him. God is happy to see children in His house, even if they are missing a sandal.
 
Well I must say, I’m always happy to see the children at the Mass if they are making a fuss or not. Its good for the children to be there and I’m sure the parents need the grace all the more. If that ruins my Mass, its a good excuse. Plus having a sister who was often times uncontrolable makes me a bit understanding too. These children are some of those “natives of foriegn lands” that need to be taught the gospel.
 
My wife used to avoid cryrooms, thinking they do more long term harm to behavior than short term quiet.

We used to take the kids in the Church proper. Once in a long while they’d get out of control, but a short visit outside with them and they were good to come back in. When they were infants sometimes we wouldn’t bring them at all since we often go to Mass in shifts anyway. (I play music for 8 am but the others don’t always go with me.)

Alan
 
I don’t have kids, but I know that I like to see kids in church rather than in the nursery, however loud or disruptive they may be. They’re just having a bad day, and they’ll settle down and become good Catholics - I hope!

Good job!

😃
 
Kids don’t bother me at mass. I love kids, and half the time they don’t realize that they may be speaking too loudly, etc. They just need a parent to shush them every now and then, and it’s fine. Babies are cool too. Only thing that bothers me is when they are really screaming and the parents sit there, especially if it’s during the homily or communion. That seems a bit much. But occasional fussing and noise is fine, and anyone that gets overly upset about it needs to relax, in my HO.

Actually, the kids in my church are pretty well behaved.
 
Good for all of you who want to have your children with you in the Church and not in the cry room! 👍
I often see those in the cry-room at our parish and realize that most of them appear not to have any idea of what’s going on in the Mass. I also think it’s an ‘expedient’ excuse for the parents to not have to attend with the other grown ups. Often times there are parents in these rooms with children that are of kindergarten age an older. I’m on our parish Council and sugggested to the pastor that he post a sign limiting it to people with children under 3 years of age.
 
With my older son (20 months) I basically find that I walk him around in back of the church. He likes the Holy Water and knows he is supposed to dip his hand in. He is a little unsure what to do next, he usually ends up slapping himself on the head.

He also tries to join in with the singing.

Interestingly, when I take him to a Latin Mass, he sits quietly and listens to the chants (and occasionally joins in!).
 
Greetings

My two sons are now grown but, from infancy, we brought them up with us to the first or second row. I want to be as close to Jesus in the Holy Eucharist as I can and see all of the Mass better if I do not have heads and shoulders in front of me.

The kids learned to sit though those long Latin High Masses and behave. No cry rooms and no toys back in those days.

I now have four grandchildren. When I first started taking them to Mass (just me and grandpa if the parents were out of town and we were sitting, which was fairly often) the kids were 4, 5 9 & 10. We sat in front, insisted the children follow the Mass, sit, stand, kneel at the proper times and be quiet. They all have received Holy Communion now and all are good at participating in Holy Mass.

I compliment you moms who bring your kids, bring them up front where they can see and hear and teach them to behave.

Most cry rooms are zoos where the kids behave like on a playground.

One bonus for you folks who worry about germs on the chalice, the fewer who sip before you, the fewer germs to worry about.
 
LynnieLew,

Shame on that woman for getting up in a huff & moving! Did she really think that Jesus would be pleased with that little display of hers? What if you were a visitor who wandered into church for the first time with your young child? Talk about NOT making a person feel wanted.

That reminds me of when my friend’s father was diagonsed with terminal cancer. She & her sibblings decided they would all attend daily mass at their respective parishes & pray for their father. My friend went to the 8 am mass with her daughter who was 2 at the time. Her daughter got a bit fussy and the older women in the pew in front of her kept turning around & giving her “the look.” My friend took her daughter & stood in the back of the church. A few minutes later one of the women stormed up to her and said, “WE CAN STILL HEAR YOU! YOU NEED TO LEAVE!!!” Can you believe that? My friend, already so sad because of her father ran out of the church in tears.

😦
 
Awe, seeing children at Mass is always a pleasure to me. I have in my day gotten “the look” even when the children were being quiet. I can remember one Sunday, shortly after our Church got an addition and with it a cryroom, my youngest was about 1 yrs. old, my oldest was 7 so we would sit up front, I was wearing a set of cheap beads that the baby was playing with, the elderly couple in front of me made a comment loud enough for me to hear “We have a cryroom for those babies now, why don’t moms use it”. Uhuh, the cryrooms speaker system didn’t work yet, there was no heating or airconditioning in the room yet so many of us avoided it, especially in the heat of summer (this Sunday would have been in the heat of the summer too). Not only that, but the baby was not crying, screaming or making any loud noises, just my beads clinking together as she played with them. My mom did point out to me that the couple may have ahd hearing aids which don’t filter out little noises like the clinking of beads so they were probably distracting to them so I tried not to sit behind “older” people especially if I could see that they had hearing aids, only right to be considerate of them too.

Another time, same child, a year or so later, we go to Mass early and I was kneeling saying my thanksgiving prayers when the youngest started singing relatively quietly but still in that high pitched two/three year old voice “Jesus Loves Me”, my oldest and I looked at each other and smiled but the lady behind us got all bent out of shape and yelled at us to “get that noisy child out of the Church” - we moved to a different pew. You have to remember that this was before Mass had started too. Sadly this same lady about 8 years later hit a girl (who occassionally served as an Altar Server) as Mass started and there were girl Altar Servers while saying how “satan has entered the church”. Monsignor had to ask her not to come back as she was getting violent ( I don’t know what happened to her but I do pray for her). We happened to be sitting next to the girl when this happened and it could have been one of my girls she smacked - I don’t think she chose this girl because she was an altar server, she just happened to be in the wrong place at the wrong time.

I think we need to pray for those who have no tolerance for children, especially in places they should be, like Mass! Of course, if a child is screaming, then the parent needs to take them out of the Church proper but for the most part, chidlren are relatively quiet, at least quieter than some who choose to talk to their neighbors during Mass!

Brenda V.
 
In our church they announce that crying children should be taken to the cry room. I have seen our Priest stop in the middle of the Homily and continue with the rest of the Mass when a child was crying. Its no wonder we have less people every week.
 
Before we converted to the RCC last year, we attended Mass for a little over a year prior. At the time our second daughter was only about 15 or 16 months old. She was (and still is) a VERY active child. We took her and our older daughter into the cry room each week where the baby would run around, touch everything, climb on the pews, play with the toys we brought, color, etc. After she turned 2 we sat in the front with her and she surprisingly did very well. Now she is almost 4 and she still has her moments of climbing on the pews or talking during the quiet times of prayer and reflection. HOWEVER she will recite the prayers we say as a community and she walks up to receive a blessing from the priest at communion. She knows now that she must keep her right hand over her heart when she goes up there and the priest always smiles at her while making a cross on her forehead with his thumb.

Our son is now a very VERY active 17 month old and he is not any quieter than his sister was at this age. We either stay in the cry room with him while the 2 girls sit up front with grandma and grandpa, or we’ll all stay together as a family but he’s so curious right now about everything it’s too distracting to try to keep him settled up front right now. We’ll be having baby #4 in October so we’ll be going through the same rigamaroll again. Our son will eventually graduate to the front of the church but the one advantage we have (unfortunately) is that the cry room in our parish is usually empty on sunday mornings, it’s just us or another mom that brings her 17 month old son. When there are a few more parents with young children there, we all try to band together to help the kids learn when to stand, when to sit and when to pray. None of us take offense when another parent shushes our children and reminds them that this is the time to listen, this is the time to pray, etc. Sometimes the kids listen better to another adult because they’re afraid of seeing what will happen if they didn’t listen 🙂

My routine works for me and my family. I haven’t encountered any older people at my parish that get upset if a little one gets ansy during Mass. Before we settled where we are now, we attended Mass at the church of my youth and when we came in the cry room we were a little surprised at how many old people were sitting in there. We got lots of dirty looks and loud sighs when our young daughter was just being a baby. On the way out I wasn’t too pleasant when I said to my mother, why have a cry room if children aren’t welcome in it by the older people who should be sitting up front?

So that’s what we do. Keep the little ones in the cry room until their about 2, prepping them for Mass when they’re receptive, then try it out up front when they’re a little older and follow directions a bit better.

God bless!
 
We always sit up front because less distraction for the kids, and when they can see more than the backs of peoples heads they can pay better attention. Love sitting up front.
 
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