So weak and shamefull

[Marcel28]

I Have recently returned agian to the faith, I say agian because last year
I returned for a short time only ending up leaving and attending a Lutheran
Church Started taking thier classes only to realize that I did not agree with
there teachings and that I was wrong for leaving the Catholic Church agian
I did confession attended mass and dove head long into learning more about
The faith which I was Confimed into exactly 20 years ao and fell away from around the age of 12 .I am 28 years old and up until last year i had lost faith all together
And was into various Pagan practices I have a son out of wedlock and have lived
A very un Christian life to say. I attibute my renewed faith to Saint Micheal who i feel
Has led me back to Christ and the church this i say because of a experiance i had last year
When all of a sudden I returned to the church. I honestly have no idea I left last year agian and ended up in a lutheran church after falling back into Paganism for a short stint
I know this is long please bear with me. So here I am back where I know I belong
And where Im to stay, Yet i find my self falling back into sin going to confession
Every week, realizing that I am so pron to sin and trying to resist it til it breaks me down
And i give in. I have taken up praying the Rosery everyday. Praying the divine office and a special personal devotion to St Micheal for his intersession to keep me strong in the faith and the church …Yet no matter how much i pray or how much i try i find my self falling into mortal sin week after week and ending up in confession saturday. Its been 3 weeks since ive returned i know that is a short time but it seems that the more i pray and the more i try the greater this temptation to sin gets. And it comes out of nowhere.What is the bad part about all this is that the Church here does not have a full time priest at this moment and time due to the retirement of the priest for health reasons. So visiting Priest come every week and do confession and mass and dont have to much time to really talk. The RCIA classes have been postponed til september so i have signed up for home study
.But my main point to all this is that I once agian am going to have to go into confession and i just feel so weak and ashamed of my sinfulness. Its not even the fear of hell that worrys me it is the fact that my sins have offended god and that im so weak that i keep falling into sin and knowing that it is wrong yet giving into my temptations. If only i was stronger i wouldn’t be here writing this feeling like I’m a failure.

 

[Franciscan_Way]

Hi Marcel,
I want to share this because I too was being tempted relentlessly. One of the members here had a quote from Padre Pio at the bottom of their post(s) and I believe God revealed to me what I needed to see. The quote said, “To be tempted is a sign that the soul is very pleasing to our Lord.” (What??? How in any way could I be pleasing to our Lord???) I read a little more about what this quote meant and the gist of it was that Satan wishes to put distance between you and God when he sees that you are actively seeking a relationship with Him. Satan does this by relentlessly tempting us. The good news is we have free will and the choice to sin or not is ours. Satan is not concerned with those who are leading sinful lives, he seeks those who try to live to please God. And Satan knows our weaknesses. You mentioned that you have been praying the rosary daily and the more you pray the more the temptation to sin. (This sounds SO familiar!) Now you know why! You are seeking to lead a righteous life, you have a contrite heart, and you are growing in closeness to Him.
When you are going through it, it can seem like your prayers are doing no good and then you feel like a terrible person because of the temptations and especially when you fall. Then you can feel like giving up, but don’t! This knowledge has actually helped me to recognize the trickery and deception of the evil one. Stay in prayer ceaselessly. Ask God to guide you, strengthen you, and that you may glorify Him by your actions. God bless you! You will be in my prayers!

 

[James214]

Remember this from St. Maria Faustina: The greater the sinner, the more deserving he is of the Divine Mercy of our Lord! The weight of our transgressions upon ourselves is only significant if we measure it against our own weak selves and try to find a source of mercy within ourselves. But if we are humble enough to look outward and ask for mercy, our worst sins are less than a drop of water in an ocean that He will pour out for us. For perspective I imagine how I felt when I did something wrong or something bad happened at the age of 4 and I’d think nothing would ever be okay ever again. But of course things weren’t really that way! We can’t really comprehend our Lord’s perspective. But we can pray and believe, "Jesus, I trust in you! "

 

[Spritus1]

Hi marcel

Please don’t be discouraged. We are all sinners. Jesus came for you and me, for all of us who feel broken failures. There is a huge spiritual battle going on for your soul. You belong to God but the evil one wants you. Do not give in. Persevere no matter what. If you sin, confess. If you sin again, confess again. Confession is a repeat prescription not a one-time remedy. Keep your eyes on the prize: heaven. Do not despair. God sees and knows your struggle. It is proof to Him that you care.

I cannot emphasize enough: do not give up. The Eucharist is medicine and the more often you receive it it will help to strengthen you. Visiting Our Lord in Eucharistic Adoration will also strengthen you. Keep up the Rosary. Ask your favourite Saint to intercede for you.

It can be a hard slog at times. We walk, we stumble, we fall. Get back up. Carry on. Know that we cannot do this with our own power. We need Grace. Grace is powerful, enormously powerful. God will give you the grace you require.

Satan wants you to be discouraged, to despair and in that despair to turn your back on the Lord and walk away. Do not do that. Fight the good fight. I can totally appreciate your struggle. I stumble and fall occasionally. But I get back up.

So get back up. Keep getting back up. Confession, as well as granting absolution gives graces to resist sin. Satan sees you drawing closer to God hence the increased ferocity of temptations. It is a trick, a diabolical trick. But effective. Do not fall for it. Jesus has won. With Him you too can win. Stay very close to Him in the sacraments and prayer. It will likely be a battle. You may be weary, bruised and sore but it is worth it. Worth more than all the silver and gold in this world.

So please, please, please do not be discouraged. Do not despair. Do not give up. The Lord wants you and all you have to do is keep on wanting Him. Who can separate you from Him? No one can unless you allow them to.

So, confession, Mass, Rosary, Adoration. Repeat ad infinitum.

May God bless you.