Sociability and this here introvert

[halogirl]

Feel kinda stupid but here goes . I’m an introvert - I don’t like socialising with work colleagues: although I get asked regularly I only go to the Christmas social and the summer social. It’s not shyness it’s just I don’t want to do it because it feels like work. A colleague who’s also a friend regularly asks me to this wine and snacks night with other work colleagues at her home and I always say no. But I said yes to a retirement night for a colleague because it’s at a restaurant I want to try and I’m a foodie. How bad should I feel that I go to stuff because it a chance to try a new place rather than to be with my colleagues? I like them. I have zero desire to spend time with them outside work. I really want to try the restaurant. Just being honest

 

[Mtatum1958]

I wouldn’t feel bad about it in the least. You might find the company enjoyable and try more; you might not enjoy the people and you have tried a new restaurant.

 

[Tis_Bearself]

You do not have to feel bad about this at all.

I do not like socializing with people from work either. When I was young and in a different career, I had a group of fun work friends and I liked to go out with them. However, at this point in my life and in the career I have now, I have little in common with the people from my work and I don’t really want to give up my leisure time to spend an hour at a bar, or at someone’s house, with them. I would make an exception for something special, such as when a colleague from another country is visiting or if a particularly fun outing is planned or if it’s a retirement party for somebody I enjoyed working with, but for a normal night out I’d rather spend it with my own friends or my cats.

There are plenty of other people who have children at daycare or at home and they want to get home and spend family time. In USA they may well have to drive anywhere from a half hour to over an hour to even get home , and may not want to be consuming more than one drink before they hit the road.

So, nothing to feel bad about. The only thing to keep in mind is that some workplaces tend to favor the more social people when it comes to promotions and the like; other workplaces, including most of mine, couldn’t care less.

 

[Sunbreak]

I wouldn’t feel bad at all. Being somewhat of an introvert myself, I would rather go someplace doing something I like rather than go to whatever just to have company.

 

[JimG]

There’s nothing wrong with not wanting to go to casual events with co-workers. But if you like that restaurant, that’s a good excuse to try it out.

I once worked at an office in which retirement parties, birthday parties, and other events were often celebrated at the office during working hours. One co-worker would take the day off of work if one of those parties was scheduled. He just didn’t like the socializing. In fact, he even skipped his own retirement party. Fearing that someone one would plan a retirement party for him, he just called in one day to say he was retiring, and never came back. Somehow he arranged with HR to get the retirement done with no one knowing.