Social anxiety getting in the way

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conscientia

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Hello all,

I have been interested in Catholicism for a little over a year now. Though raised in a non-religious household, my research and exploration has led me to at least considering the conversion process. The issue I am facing, which is the reason I created an account, is my severe social anxiety. I attended an evening mass a few weeks ago for the first time. Sitting off to the side, I still felt a lot of embarrassment because I could not keep up with what was going on. Couldn’t find page in the prayer book to follow along, didn’t know when to stand and when to sit, it also slipped my mind to bring any cash for the donation plate. My brain tells me I have made a bad impression and have to give up.

I was wondering if anyone else has experience in becoming a Catholic as someone with anxiety. I’ve noticed that RCIA requires a sponsor, and other steps along the way require reaching out to community members. Is it realistic as someone with no current connections to the church to complete this process?

Thank you for reading.
 
conscientia said:
Hello all,

I have been interested in Catholicism for a little over a year now. Though raised in a non-religious household, my research and exploration has led me to at least considering the conversion process. The issue I am facing, which is the reason I created an account, is my severe social anxiety. I attended an evening mass a few weeks ago for the first time. Sitting off to the side, I still felt a lot of embarrassment because I could not keep up with what was going on. Couldn’t find page in the prayer book to follow along, didn’t know when to stand and when to sit, it also slipped my mind to bring any cash for the donation plate. My brain tells me I have made a bad impression and have to give up.

I was wondering if anyone else has experience in becoming a Catholic as someone with anxiety. I’ve noticed that RCIA requires a sponsor, and other steps along the way require reaching out to community members. Is it realistic as someone with no current connections to the church to complete this process?

Thank you for reading.
Click to expand...
Welcome to the forum! 🙂

I’m so very sorry for your struggles with anxiety.

Please don’t feel embarrassed about what happened while you were at Mass.

I personally think that you’re being too hard on yourself.

You can simply go to Mass and just sit and observe. That’s what I would do, if I were you. I would not worry about trying to sit and stand and try and do what everyone else does. For now, I would just observe.

There were times when I had to just sit through the whole Mass due to being unwell. I was injured and I couldn’t stand or walk too well. No one was looking at me and what I was doing.

You can also watch the Mass on YouTube also, to see what occurs during Mass.

I would simply take everything one step at a time.

I would see the Parish Pastor about getting enrolled in RCIA if you aren’t already, and then you can find out about getting a sponsor then, and so on.

I know what it’s like to deal with anxiety, and I personally think that it’s easier to just break things down into smaller steps and deal with them in that way. Otherwise, we can start to feel overwhelmed if we try and get too far ahead of ourselves.

May God bless you while you’re on your journey of faith. Please don’t give up so soon.
 
There is no obligation at all to follow along with the missal (the book with the readings) 🙂 there are many times when I don’t. I’m sure that no one would think anything if you seem new to the Mass. I’m a convert myself and when I first came in, I didn’t know the Mass either. Later when I discovered the Latin Mass, I was even more confused, yet I loved it, stayed, and eventually got it. In the Catholic Church, it doesn’t make a bad impression at all even if you just sit and pray during the Mass. I’ve seen people do this and just rise for the Gospel, and kneel during the Consecration. You could follow along with what the other people are doing more easily if you sit near the back or to the side, and if you make a mistake, don’t worry, I don’t think anyone would look or notice at all, and if they notice, I’m almost sure they wouldn’t mind. As for an RCIA sponsor, that’s something that could be discussed with the priest, - not everyone comes in knowing a Catholic at the parish, and I think something just gets arranged. God bless you!
 
I am a recent convert and I know what you’re going through. Don’t be discouraged that you don’t know the rhythms of the Mass yet, everyone has to start at the beginning. I still forget things from time to time. Just two weeks ago I responded with an “amen” at a point in the Mass where that typically isn’t done…and I did so rather loudly. I was very relieved to hear someone do the same thing simultaneously from across the sanctuary. RCIA was a tremendous gift to me, I was very nervous at first but once I got to know the team and my fellow candidates I grew more comfortable. Then I started getting invited to conferences and prayer groups, social gatherings I normally would have avoided at all costs. While they took a lot of energy to get through at first, they stretched me and gave me confidence. I remember at the Rite of Acceptance I was so nervous to be standing in front of the parishioners I turned to my sponsor and told him if my legs buckled he’d need to hold me up. Now I’m a lector, in a small group, part of a men’s prayer group, and I went back and joined the RCIA team as a helper. Stick with it and see where God leads you.
 
I’m a cradle Catholic and still find myself socially anxious at mass so I understand. I think all you can do is take your time, observe and you will get the hang of it in time.

I haven’t been through adult RCIA but I would hope it would put you in touch with others in your situation.
 
I would think that the more you go, the less anxious you will feel.

If you social anxiety is very severe you should tell your doctor too.
 
In Matthew 11:28 Jesus says “come to me all you who labor and are carrying heavy burdens and I will give you rest. Take my yoke (teaching), and you will find rest for your soul”.

Sounds like you are in the perfect place.

If you discuss your fears with the Priest, he will help find a sponsor I’m sure.
 
Social anxiety was a huge problem for me in the Church. I found that it helped me to sit on the end of the pew so that I could see what was going on, but also have room to exit if I needed to. I’m one who does a lot of wringing of hands when I’m anxious, so also having a rosary or missal in hand was very good for me too.

If it gets too severe, I found medication was sometimes the only way I could sit through an entire Mass. Always worth talking to your doctor if it gets too debilitating.

I would also suggest reading up on the Mass outside of being physically at church. Having an idea of what to expect always makes me breathe a bit easier.
 
Thank you so much for your responses. I’m grateful to know others have this kind of experience as well. This will be a journey with ups and downs but it’s one I’m excited to take.
 
conscientia said:
Hello all,

I have been interested in Catholicism for a little over a year now. Though raised in a non-religious household, my research and exploration has led me to at least considering the conversion process. The issue I am facing, which is the reason I created an account, is my severe social anxiety. I attended an evening mass a few weeks ago for the first time. Sitting off to the side, I still felt a lot of embarrassment because I could not keep up with what was going on. Couldn’t find page in the prayer book to follow along, didn’t know when to stand and when to sit, it also slipped my mind to bring any cash for the donation plate. My brain tells me I have made a bad impression and have to give up.

I was wondering if anyone else has experience in becoming a Catholic as someone with anxiety. I’ve noticed that RCIA requires a sponsor, and other steps along the way require reaching out to community members. Is it realistic as someone with no current connections to the church to complete this process?

Thank you for reading.
Click to expand...
Welcome … it is wonderful that you posted of your concerns … God Bless you.

Just wanted to let you know that my husband was a convert, and even though I am Catholic the priest did not want me to be his sponsor … he chose to have one of the deacons of the Church be his sponsor … so all was worked out just fine … go to the Priest … he will help you along.

Also, don’t feel funny in Church … I can’t kneel anymore the way I once could due to knee problems … I just sit more to the side now so that it is less noticeable … but no one ever has an issue with it … everyone in Church is there to praise Jesus and to ask Jesus to help us be more like Him … no one is looking to judge … or at least they should not be.

May the Lord bless you in your choice to follow Him.
 
conscientia said:
Hello all,

I have been interested in Catholicism for a little over a year now. Though raised in a non-religious household, my research and exploration has led me to at least considering the conversion process. The issue I am facing, which is the reason I created an account, is my severe social anxiety. I attended an evening mass a few weeks ago for the first time. Sitting off to the side, I still felt a lot of embarrassment because I could not keep up with what was going on. Couldn’t find page in the prayer book to follow along, didn’t know when to stand and when to sit, it also slipped my mind to bring any cash for the donation plate. My brain tells me I have made a bad impression and have to give up.

I was wondering if anyone else has experience in becoming a Catholic as someone with anxiety. I’ve noticed that RCIA requires a sponsor, and other steps along the way require reaching out to community members. Is it realistic as someone with no current connections to the church to complete this process?

Thank you for reading.
Click to expand...
We have a lot in common, a non-religious family, social anxiety, and the desire to join Christ’s church.

I had been contemplating joining the RCIA inquiry class for several years but couldn’t bring myself to do it, too much of the unknown for me to cope.

A few weeks ago, Wednesday, 8/24/16, I finally heard God’s message and went to mass that morning. I didn’t worry about where the chapel was, where I would sit when I got there, or what I would do during mass. I just listened to Him and went.

I didn’t know any of the responses, didn’t know when to kneel or stand, but I did have the most beautiful experience of my life.

I still sit toward the back and off to the side (it’s where I’m comfortable), and while I recognize faces, I still don’t know anyone. Still, nothing could stop me from going every morning. Our RCIA class is starting a little later than others, but I’m excited and looking forward to it. I don’t have a sponsor, either, but I’m sure one will be provided.

I hope you go back. As someone else said, it gets easier each time, and it’s a truly wonderful place to be.
 
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