Social Constructs of Heirarchy

[Apathy]

So the day is Saturday October 1st and I go to the female which I am datings’ house.

My plans consisted of going to a “Young Life” get together so we can discuss the interpretations of Genesis with my local Church.

Much to my dismay; in a very disrepectful way… She wore a mini-skirt that displayed her knees.

I was unable to take her due to her outlandish attire and deviant display of the human body in a disrespectful way to our lord.

I regretfully told her this and she seemed to be manifested by demons and yelled at me in a scornful manner.

Now I am placed between living for my morals or for someone I truely love.

I am confused, I have no idea how to deal with this.
My pastor tells me the way she dresses is a sinful act but she is a very empathetic person.

 

[mercygate]

Apathy:

So the day is Saturday October 1st and I go to the female which I am datings’ house.

My plans consisted of going to a “Young Life” get together so we can discuss the interpretations of Genesis with my local Church.

Much to my dismay; in a very disrepectful way… She wore a mini-skirt that displayed her knees.

I was unable to take her due to her outlandish attire and deviant display of the human body in a disrespectful way to our lord.

I regretfully told her this and she seemed to be manifested by demons and yelled at me in a scornful manner.

Now I am placed between living for my morals or for someone I truely love.

I am confused, I have no idea how to deal with this.
My pastor tells me the way she dresses is a sinful act but she is a very empathetic person.

Hm. You have a girl who was willing to go to a Bible study with you, a girl who probably had no idea that her costume was “unacceptable” and you chastised her. Then she got angry (put yourself in her place). I don’t buy the demon bit. I’d say hurt feelings.

How about apologizing to her? A lot of kids today (even church kids!) are ABSOLUTELY clueless about this stuff.

 

[Prodigal_Son]

That displayed her knees?!?

Am I the only one that finds knees innocent? How are knees suggestive? Short skirt means well above the knee, in my book.



As a guy, though, personally, I always keep my knees covered up. I have particularly alluring knees, you see. Wouldn’t want to lead the ladies into temptation.

 

[Apathy]

Yeah, I suppose I should give an apology.
It’s just confusing what is considered culturally normative.

How do I know where we stand in culture vs christianity?

 

[mercygate]

Apathy:

Yeah, I suppose I should give an apology.
It’s just confusing what is considered culturally normative.

How do I know where we stand in culture vs christianity?

Figure that one out and come back and tell the rest of us.

Without suggesting that “if everybody is doing it” that makes it all right, you can look around at the kids who are going to church, getting good grades, kids who are involved in sports, science club, community activities – you know: not “losers” but kids who will be making something of their lives, and get a sense of what the norms are.

Are you by chance from another country? A place where an exposed knee is culturally shattering?

 

[Apathy]

mercygate:

Are you by chance from another country? A place where an exposed knee is culturally shattering?

19th Century America.

But seriously it was just a satire on what exactly is passed as style this day in age.

In actual reality my girlfriend dresses conservatively.
Well… I don’t know where thongs would fall since they are covered by clothes but besides that article of clothing everything else is traditional.

Anyhow, are any of you disgusted with the way the kids at your Church dress? Can you list examples?

 

[mercygate]

19th Century America.

But seriously it was just a satire on what exactly is passed as style this day in age.

In actual reality my girlfriend dresses conservatively.
Well… I don’t know where thongs would fall since they are covered by clothes but besides that article of clothing everything else is traditional.

Anyhow, are any of you disgusted with the way the kids at your Church dress? Can you list examples?

Actually our “church kids” are pretty cool. The guys wear Dockers & polo shirts and the girls – OK, sometimes their clothing is a little snug – wear skirts or slacks and layered tops. In the summer we DO see bare shoulders (sigh) and the occasional bare midriff but overall, we ain’t callin’ the modesty police on 'em.

 

[Apathy]

Wow, I have never heard of a lax dress policy within the Catholic faith.

I thought it was all “Sound of Music” style.

 

[Verbum_Caro]

Apathy:

Wow, I have never heard of a lax dress policy within the Catholic faith.

I thought it was all “Sound of Music” style.

You mean made out of drapes?

 

[Apathy]

This is what I mean.http://www.nostalgiacentral.com/images_movie/soundofmusic_01.jpg

 

[mercygate]

Apathy:

Wow, I have never heard of a lax dress policy within the Catholic faith.

I thought it was all “Sound of Music” style.

Ah, wouldn’t that be lovely?

Well, unfortunately, we live in the same world everybody else does. Our kids have the same struggles everybody else has. Actually, that’s true for all religious communities. Of course, you’ll have some people who represent a conservative standard but if you look at the really scary stuff you will find that Evangelical, church-going, church-family kids – and the same kind of Catholic kids – have the same rate of teen pregnancy as the generall population . . . We don’t live in a bubble.

Go get that girlfriend and guide her gently . . . Very gently.

 

[BLB_Oregon]

Modesty in dress is a cultural thing, whether we like it or not. Was she showing Laura Bush amounts of knee, or Tina Turner amounts of knee? I’m a bit concerned that you may think that anything that shows knee qualifies as a mini skirt. True mini skirts take some careful wearing to not show underpants. Depending on the length of her legs, the cut of the dress, and how modest she is when she sits, I would think that the amount of leg that is being shown in the Senate would be okay.

Oh, and lose words and phrases like “deviant”, “outlandish”, “disrespectful of our Lord”, and “manifested by demons”. Our Lord did not have too many nice things to say at the look-down-their-nose crowd.

Did anything like that come out of Our Lord’s mouth when he met the woman at the well… and don’t fool yourself about why she was there at midday, and not with the other women. Be quite sure that no one would use “prim” to describe her. He chose to strike up a conversation with her, and never condemned her, not once. How did he talk to the woman caught in adultery? That is a bit worse than showing too much leg. He didn’t condemn her. He only told her to avoid that sin in the future. In other words, if you were to put on Christ, your girlfriend would not have been attacked, and she would be forgiven by now. Chances are, she would be taking a close look at her wardrobe, and not blowing fire out of her nostrils.

Examine yourself, and then go apologize. Oh, and if you feel you have to bring up her behavior, the correct form is “I still think your skirt was too short, but I was a jerk”, NOT “I was a jerk, but I still your skirt was too short.” The second is an excuse for yourself, not an apology to her.

Finally… allow yourself forgiveness, too. You value her purity. That is a good thing. Our insecurities have a tendency to put a little Pharisee in all of us. But in the future, tell that demon to get lost.