I was going to write a long thread about the Franciscan tradition for the solemnity, but something happened that I cannot explain. During the last few days, as we (the brothers) prepare for the great feast, I’ve been in a rather “somber” mood, for lack of a better term.
As some of you know, I’m a revert to the religious life. I’m very involved in the great feast of our Seraphic Father, but in a very different way this year. It’s usually more like Christmas for me. But this year it seems to feel like a time of retreat, prayer, discernment and opening up to God’s love and his message for me, my brothers and my friends, especially all of you here on TC Forum.
I’m feeling very drawn to wonder, “Why me?”
I’ll probably not know the answer until I get to heaven. So I decided to drop that question. My motto is “Don’t waste time on questions that have no answers while the answers to real questions pass you by.”
I had a dream. I mean literally. In this dream I was back at my Alma Mater, CUA. It’s actually one of several universities that I have attended. But it’s one of my maters.
Back to my dream. In my dream, I was walking along the side of the campus when a beautiful young woman whom I have never seen approached me. I can still see her smile. She waved me to come up onto the campus You have to know CUA to understand. It’s on a hill. There are steps and slopes that one climbs from the sidewalk onto the campus.
I started to climb the steps. All the time, she’s smiling, but not saying anything. As I step onto the main mall of the campus, I see the Basilica of the Immaculate Conception. Now, I have a great devotion to the Immaculate and as a student I spent many hours in the shrine. Many of you may already know that the Franciscans have been great defenders of the dogma of the Immaculate Conception. In fact. St. Bonaventure was so Marian that when he was superior general he mandated that we observe the First Saturdays. I’m not sure if this was a Church custom or something that he started. But in any case, he mandated it to the friars under his care. But I digress.
As I looked at the shrine I remembered something that St. Francis wrote, which has left theologians perplexed for 800 years. No one ever said it before him and no one really knows what he meant to this day. “Hail O Virgin made Church.”
It’s obviously a reflection of his ecclesiology and Marian spirituality. But he never explained it and every attempt on our part to explain it has as many holes as Swiss cheese.
In any case, I heard that line very clearly in my dream. I looked around and saw the beautiful young woman smiling and looking to the shrine. All I can remember is her face and hair. She was absolutely beautiful. I can’t explain how beautiful.
In the dream, I asked her “Why am I here?”
Again, the voice “Hail O Virgin made Church.”
I walked across the campus and into the Basilica of the Immaculate. As I walked in a warm sense came over me. It was just a dream, but it felt so real. I suddenly had the answer to the question that I’ve been asking myself all week and I woke up.
“There’s no place like home.”
See my blog for the rest of the story and have a blessed feast of St. Francis. Please pray for my soul.