Some guidance please

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rubinthe

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I gave my 2 weeks notice at work last week and was told to take some time off to think about it. The problem is that as much as I’ve prayed about it, I just can’t seem to come to a decision. Everytime I think I’ve made up my mind, I’ll change it. The reason I quit is because I’m just not happy and would like to find a job that is not in management so that when I get home, I only have my family to worry about. The problem is that I am in huge debt and would not be able to pay my bills without this job. My wife is a stay at home Mom and is expecting our third child in 1 month. I have faith that I will find work after I quit but don’t have anything lined up yet. My wife is behind me 100% regardless. I’ve recently undergone some changes in my life and realize that there is nothing material in this world that will make me happy or will get me to the next life. I know I’m on a tangent, but it comes down to this. Even though I am unhappy, is it my responsibility to keep this job for the sake of my family? There are worse jobs in this world and I am compensated well, but I’ve had enough and I feel I can’t serve God and my family while keeping this job. Someone please help! Any thoughts? Ideas? I need to make my decision by tomorrow as I go back to work Wednesday. Sorry so long.
 
You need to keep this job until you find a better one. It is your responsiblilty to provide for you family. Sometimes that means working less than ideal jobs . If your so sure you’ll find work, find it first and then quit.
 
I agree with Rayne 100 percent. Maybe you are feeling stressed because of the baby coming, and you feel the need to be home more. That’s a whole stress of its own, especially with no income. Suck it up for awhile and keep everything as steady as you can. Keep an eye out for another opportunity, but it would be really reckless to quit a job without another one to go to. I’d probably give you the same advice even if your job was quite awful, and since it’s not… well, all the more so!
Good luck to you and your family. Ask the people you are close to to give you a hand if you need it. The most effective and loving thing you can do is keep your family secure.
God bless.
 
I think it is okay to want another job, but you need to have a new job lined up BEFORE you quit your current one (especially since your wife is expecting and is a stay at home mom.) You are the bread winner of the family.

Best of luck!

Karen
 
Yeah, have the next job in line.

That said, it may be possible for you to move down from management with the attendant cut in pay. I do not know the details of your finances, but my wife and I faced a similar situation two years ago, I negotiated a loss in status and pay in exchange for not worrying about work at home. We had to make some adjustments, and the first year was a bit tough, but we have made things work out. Please PM me if you wish to discuss this in greater detail. I would love to assist!
 
I thank all of you for your responses. In praying the Rosary last night, I realized that I am extremely fortunate to even have a job in the first place. And that there are people in this world who hate their jobs but still have to endure it for the sake of their famlies. And of course there are those who can’t find work and can’t feed their families. I just need to be grateful and make the best of my situation. There was a change of ownership recently and that contributed to my stress level, but thanks to some time off, some guidance from you all and plenty of Prayer, I have seen the light. And now I will go back to work and find ways to serve God in every thing I do at work and home. Thanks to everyone, you all are in my Prayers.
 
For what it’s worth, I’d like to offer my two cents, and I hope you take some encouragement from this.

I recently switched jobs, myself. I too was not happy at all in my prior job, and spent many hours in Church asking for guidance from the Lord (Is this where He wanted me to be?, Should I be looking for a job that would give me peace of mind?, what is Your will for me?!), the politics, and personalities in the work place seemed so unimportant to me. But, I had a huge mortgage, and bills to pay, so I had to work (make no mistake, I don’t live lavishly; it’s just that even modest homes in the DC area are very expensive).

The Lord eventually answered my prayers (over 3 years), and I’m now very happy in a new job. The funny thing is, that I didn’t find this job–it found me! A recruiter called me one day, out of the blue, and here I am. I truly believe this was the Holy Spirit working in my life.

Try not to get down. Please try to put things into perspective: even St Paul says that we all have to work, and not be slackers. Try to embrace all the challenges, frustrations, politics, etc., as little pieces of suffering. If you’re struggling with God’s will for you, and you truly don’t know what His will is for you, try instead to do the very best you can, at whatever you do. I am convinced that He will reward you in time.

take care, and don’t ever give up hope!

JF
Springfield VA
 
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rubinthe:
I gave my 2 weeks notice at work last week and was told to take some time off to think about it. The problem is that as much as I’ve prayed about it, I just can’t seem to come to a decision. Everytime I think I’ve made up my mind, I’ll change it. The reason I quit is because I’m just not happy and would like to find a job that is not in management so that when I get home, I only have my family to worry about. The problem is that I am in huge debt and would not be able to pay my bills without this job. My wife is a stay at home Mom and is expecting our third child in 1 month. I have faith that I will find work after I quit but don’t have anything lined up yet. My wife is behind me 100% regardless. I’ve recently undergone some changes in my life and realize that there is nothing material in this world that will make me happy or will get me to the next life.
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No offense–but your “happiness” should not not be the primary consideration in making this decision. You are an adult who has chosen to take on the responsibility of supporting a wife, who no longer earns an income, as well as having three children. You have also incurred debts which you cannot pay without an income. What do you plan to do about insurance coverage for the birth of your 3d child!!! Who do you expect will support you while you search for a job that makes you “happy?” These past choices have consequences which may, for now, mean you are not whistling while you work.
I know I’m on a tangent, but it comes down to this. Even though I am unhappy, is it my responsibility to keep this job for the sake of my family?

No two ways about it–you must keep this job until you have secured another. You have already made the mistake of flagging your discontent to your employer. But if he/she is willing to keep you on, you have a much stronger liklihood of being able to take a job you want instead of a job out of desperation if you do this in a logical manner.

PS All you posters out there still wondering about the wisdom of making babies without a stable financial situation TAKE NOTE.
 
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rubinthe:
I gave my 2 week notice at work last week and was told to take some time off to think about it. The problem is that as much as I’ve prayed about it, I just can’t seem to come to a decision. Everytime I think I’ve made up my mind, I’ll change it. The reason I quit is because I’m just not happy and would like to find a job that is not in management so that when I get home, I only have my family to worry about. The problem is that I am in huge debt and would not be able to pay my bills without this job. My wife is a stay at home Mom and is expecting our third child in 1 month. I have faith that I will find work after I quit but don’t have anything lined up yet. My wife is behind me 100% regardless. I’ve recently undergone some changes in my life and realize that there is nothing material in this world that will make me happy or will get me to the next life. I know I’m on a tangent, but it comes down to this. Even though I am unhappy, is it my responsibility to keep this job for the sake of my family? There are worse jobs in this world and I am compensated well, but I’ve had enough and I feel I can’t serve God and my family while keeping this job. Someone please help! Any thoughts? Ideas? I need to make my decision by tomorrow as I go back to work Wednesday. Sorry so long.
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I can relate well to your situation. I had a management position that I absolutely hated as well. I took the road that you are considering and gave my 2-week notice. The only reason that I did this is because my wife is also in a management position and is earning enough money to ensure that the bills are paid. However, after I left the company where I had been employed, I applied for and was offered another position, which required me to have a physical. During that medical exam, it was discovered that I had a serious heart condition and the offer was rescinded leaving me without a job and with a new set of bills (medical). We are still making it (thanks to my wife’s insurance policy) but it isn’t nearly as “nice” financially, as it had been when I was working. So, I guess what I am saying is that you never know what sits along a chosen path until it gets you. Right now you are financially making it but you are the only one working in your household. If something happens that prevents you from getting the next job that you feel confident you will find, your entire household will suffer. I would suggest that you find that “other job” first and once it is secure, then give your 2-week notice. I wish you well regardless of your choice.
Take care and God bless.
 
Someone told me a long time ago, and I never forgot it, he said “don’t through out the dirty water, until you get some clean water”.
I know what you mean about materialism, it doesn’t make me happy and to an extent it can become a false god.
I’m going through a transitional period myself, and it’s hard, but I’m hopeful of the out-come.
Saint Joseph is for employment, so maybe you could pary to him, :blessyou:
 
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rubinthe:
I thank all of you for your responses. In praying the Rosary last night, I realized that I am extremely fortunate to even have a job in the first place. And that there are people in this world who hate their jobs but still have to endure it for the sake of their famlies. And of course there are those who can’t find work and can’t feed their families. I just need to be grateful and make the best of my situation. There was a change of ownership recently and that contributed to my stress level, but thanks to some time off, some guidance from you all and plenty of Prayer, I have seen the light. And now I will go back to work and find ways to serve God in every thing I do at work and home. Thanks to everyone, you all are in my Prayers.
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I am sooooo glad you are feeling better about your job. Prayer does do wonders doesn’t it? I’ve heard something to the effect of prayer doesn’t always change the situation, but it always changes US !! Also, regarding your wife being behind you 100% - what a woman! I’m not so sure I’d be supportive of my husband wanting to quit his job while I was about to have our third child. Kiss your wife - she’s a keeper!

God bless you all,
CM
 
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