M
Madaglan
Guest
I have a few questions concerning the ascetic life. To my understanding, every Christian should live, not only in moderation, but in free self-abnegation. The Christian should give up the things of this world in hopes of better treasures in heaven. Some of the greatest Catholic saints are self-flaggellants, are those who rolled around half-naked in snow, who prostrated themselves for hours on end before a crucifix, who constantly wore hair-shirts, who slept only 2 hours a day, etc. Now, many Catholics today might say that such denying of self is not Christian, but I think that it can be shown that this is indeed the Catholic tradition, and self-abnegation can be seen in the early Church, and more especially with the emergence of the Desert Fathers.
The problem I have is that I feel guilty for not being this ascetic. I feel that I’m somehow not Christian enough because I actually enjoy many aspects of life, although in moderation. I thank God for the food and opportunities that he gives me, and I enjoy them, but I do not refuse them saying, as I presume a strict monk might, “I refuse these for your sake, God.” At times I feel like I’m a glutton of pleasure even if enjoy something in the slightest. Does anybody else have this predicament?
I suppose a related problem is that presently I am having a number of health and other issues. I am often down and I feel like God wills that I should constantly feel down, since pleasure is evil and leads to sin. At the same time, I feel that pleasure lifts my mood and makes me happier and more aware of reality and open to God. To me, it seems naturally Christian that I should enjoy that which God places in my path. I can understand the great devotion that saints have in subduing their bodies and passions, but I know that, when I even try something close to that, in makes me more mentally disturbed and despairing than before. In my case, should I more or less ignore the ascetic saints for now and focus on feeling better? Or, should I glory in my sufferings although I really, deep down, desire to be healthy and happy? Should I listen more to the Health and Wealth crowd or to the SSPX crowd? Or is there a healthy middle position which is Catholic and would fit my situation?
The problem I have is that I feel guilty for not being this ascetic. I feel that I’m somehow not Christian enough because I actually enjoy many aspects of life, although in moderation. I thank God for the food and opportunities that he gives me, and I enjoy them, but I do not refuse them saying, as I presume a strict monk might, “I refuse these for your sake, God.” At times I feel like I’m a glutton of pleasure even if enjoy something in the slightest. Does anybody else have this predicament?
I suppose a related problem is that presently I am having a number of health and other issues. I am often down and I feel like God wills that I should constantly feel down, since pleasure is evil and leads to sin. At the same time, I feel that pleasure lifts my mood and makes me happier and more aware of reality and open to God. To me, it seems naturally Christian that I should enjoy that which God places in my path. I can understand the great devotion that saints have in subduing their bodies and passions, but I know that, when I even try something close to that, in makes me more mentally disturbed and despairing than before. In my case, should I more or less ignore the ascetic saints for now and focus on feeling better? Or, should I glory in my sufferings although I really, deep down, desire to be healthy and happy? Should I listen more to the Health and Wealth crowd or to the SSPX crowd? Or is there a healthy middle position which is Catholic and would fit my situation?
