Some scruples

[ecstasyofavila]

Hello! Thank you all for clicking. I originally posted in prayer intentions first, but I was informed advice was not given in those forums this is modtly copypasted.

For the last few months all I have felt is doubt. Mostly, I am struggling with anti-catholicism and pagan claims, and as simple as they should be to logically brush aside, fear and anxiety have taken over me. It’s so bad that I’ve become overly suspicious of the rosary so I usually don’t pray it, I can hardly think about Judgement without terribke fear and despair sweeping over me, and I generally don’t know who to trust. I keep fearing that I’m falling into some sort of trap or deception, even though I know how unlikely it is.

I have a terrible fear of God’s wrath and the eternal fires of hell. Everytime I try to brush off fundamentalist claims I suddenly wonder if I’m becoming hard of heart, like “What if they’re telling the truth, and I’m refusing to listen?!”

I’ve discussed this with my mother and we’ve both decided I have scrupelosity.

Has anyone else struggled with somethong similar? Any advice on how to overcome it?

Pax Christi <3

 

[jaimeleglise]

Ligouti Press sponsors a group called “Scrupulous Annonymous.” Find a good, holy priest to be your spiritual director and obey him. A psychiatrist can help by prescribing medication for
Obsessive thoughts. Cognitive behavioral therapy can help you think in a more positive light.

I understand this well because I lived with scrupulosity and Obsessive-Compulsive disorder for many years. The two are related. Some people have thoughts of hell, some have unwanted graphic sexual thoughts, violent thoughts or blasphemous thoughts. It is best to ignore than and realize they are not true, you are not enjoying them and you are not sinning because you don’t engage them. If you fight them, they may grow stronger. Simply say “Jesus” or “Mary” with respect and they will go away. Don’t let these thoughts discourage you, the devil enjoys discouraging someone who is trying to grow close to God.

Obsessive thoughts are a biological problem that should respond to prescription medications.
God bless you.

 

[PulvisEtCinis]

Yes. I have scrupulosity and OCD and can identify with the same type of things you deal with (though the subject of the tendency to obsess is different). I am a convert from Protestantism.

On the issue of your doubts, the real question is whether these doubts have any grounding in reason. We that are scrupulous have a tendency to concern ourselves with issues that we see here and there based on small things; we notice something that makes us feel uncomfortable and inclines us to doubt - sometimes this doubt is about doctrine or faith (as it is in your case), sometimes it is about the sinful nature of past actions, sometimes it is whether one’s past confessions are good, and other times it is about the moral nature of actions to be done or those that are being done at present. The thing those of us who are chronically scrupulous must keep in mind is that most of these concerns are not really brought on by reason so much as they are brought on by our emotions (anxiety/fear). As such, they should be ignored unless they really have the force of reason behind them (sometimes recourse to a spiritual director is needed to help us sort this out).

Christ founded His Church on Peter, the Rock, and gave to him the keys of the Kingdom of Heaven and authority to both to bind and to loose. He also gave the promise that the gates of Hell will not prevail over the Church. The Scriptures themselves are very Catholic (in so many ways - not to mention there are things in it that explicitly refute fundamentalist Protestant beliefs), and then when we read the Church Fathers some of whom personally knew the Apostles, or their immediate disciples, were also obviously Catholic (or at the very least, were obviously not any sort of Protestant extant today) and attest that the faith that they hold is also that which is held by the Church all over the world - and that doesn’t even touch on the need for an authority to interpret the Scriptures and Tradition, sorting what is and isn’t the right beliefs and practices to hold, nor the need to determine what books should even be considered Scripture. The fundamentalist, or really any other person who calls themselves a non-Catholic Christian, doesn’t have a leg to stand on when it comes to their claims to credibility. They raise their own personal interpretation over that which has been handed down through the ages, from the beginning, and over the Magisterium of the very Church which Christ established and gave authority to; they implicitly make themselves the authoritative interpreter of Scripture. If the Church just ‘got it wrong’ pretty much from the beginning, and it needed (insert your person ________here) to recover it and restore it to the correct beliefs, practices and interpretations, then the whole thing is just bogus. For myself, I see no way to tenably hold the Christian faith and be anything other than Catholic.

So, be at ease; or as our Lord said “be not afraid”. You have the right religion; and from what you said above, you seem to know that, but yet you may not feel it. I get it, I do, believe me. Our emotions can really mess with our thinking and have us wandering off into the wilderness of doubt, even about things that we have resolved countless times before. However, we must remember that these are just feelings, our feelings are not reason and they are not conscience - no matter how many times we experience certain emotions about something, that doesn’t necessarily mean it is true or false; right or wrong. Of course, feelings can coincide with what is good and true, or what we truly know - but they can very often lead us astray, which is why we should never act based on what we feel emotionally, apart from reason.

Continued…

 

[PulvisEtCinis]

…Continued

I have a terrible fear of God’s wrath and the eternal fires of hell. Everytime I try to brush off fundamentalist claims I suddenly wonder if I’m becoming hard of heart, like “What if they’re telling the truth, and I’m refusing to listen?!”

That knife cuts both ways. Maybe the devil is tempting you, and to fall into the fundamentalist heresies is to fall into the devil’s snare? Not only that, but it can be continued forever; you could become fundamentalist and then question whether you have the correct religion (Christianity), or whether there is any God or religion etc. One can either subsist on their doubt - which is a vicious circle and leads to skepticism, ultimately - or one can rely on reason and faith.

We have to always keep in mind that God is a God of peace, not of chaos. He is not the cause of these frantic doubts that you have. He also loves you more than you can fathom and desires your salvation more than you do.

Any advice on how to overcome it?

1. Trust God and cast your cares on Him. Pray fervently that He will guide you and grant to you the grace of perseverance. God is merciful. God loves you.
2. Pray the Rosary. There are a super abundance of Graces that we receive through devotion to the Blessed Virgin Mary. I know you said that you have become suspicious of the Rosary. There is nothing to be afraid of; we don’t worship Mary, but we venerate and honor her as the mother of Jesus, who is God; we believe she is our mother because we are in Christ, and we believe that she loves us; we also believe fervently that she prays for us in heaven - not doing damage to the “one intercessor between God and man, Jesus Christ” but rather praying for us much like we pray for each-other, only that she is the mother of our Lord, she is far more holy and far more efficacious in her prayers.
3. Resist the urge to let your emotion get the better of your reason. Don’t allow yourself to worry about things that there is no reasonable ground to worry about. If you find yourself worrying about something in an unreasonable way or obsessing about things, then calmly turn your thoughts to other things, without engaging the doubt further - Now, I know personally how hard this is to do (having dealt with scruples and OCD personally) but it can be done. The key is to focus on relaxing yourself and taming the anxiety you feel within you; it often helps to focus on doing something that is really engaging that you really can get mentally involved in (as long as it is moral, of course). For me, it also helps to engage another person in conversation (a friend perhaps) - basically anything that gets you outside of your head and focused on the outside world will go a long way to defusing obsessions (and the more you do it the easier it tends to be). Simply saying ‘no I’m not going to think about that’ or ‘don’t think about that’ is not going to do anything but make the obsession worse in many cases, and will certainly make your anxiety worse. Just drop it, like a hot stone, and deliberately focus on something else ignoring the impulses to worry about the irrational doubt - it will subside over time.
4. Find a spiritual director. Find a holy, orthodox priest that is willing and able to be your director. You might have to look around for a bit, or maybe not, sometimes your parish priest can do this. This is the traditional treatment for scrupulosity and it is a very great remedy. A good spiritual director (or at least a good regular confessor) can help you out of the maze that we sometimes find ourselves in when we can’t make up our minds as to what is the reasonable thing to do (and scrupulous people get into this maze a lot) The key, however, is not just finding someone to do it and getting their advice, but by obeying what he tells you. Unless he tells you to do something that is manifestly sinful, you have security in obeying what he tells you to do (that is to say that you don’t sin by doing it, even if he is wrong). In so far as what you have been struggling with specifically, a learned orthodox priest can help you with whatever intellectual hang-ups you might have regarding the validity of the Catholic Faith. He can also give you direct advice, fitting of your situation, as to how to deal with your specific manifestations of the scruples.
5. If you suffer from OCD (which it sounds like you might, and it is very common for the scrupulous to also have OCD), then it may be wise to see a professional psychologist to help you deal with this issue (though, I would definitely focus on finding a good spiritual director as a priority). Cognitive Behavior Therapy can help greatly in getting a better handle on your anxiety. Though, really, a sound spiritual director that is experienced with scruples will have similar effects, I believe. Medication can also help, though, frankly, I would not take it unless your condition is severe; from what I understand, success rates are relatively low, relapse rates are relatively high and the effectiveness of something like CBT is much higher, though it is harder - however, it could be an advised or even necessary supplement especially if your case is severe. There are Catholic psychologists around that will not be as likely to conflict with your faith, being Catholic; I would not recommend seeing a secular psychologist for something like CBT when it is about something as sensitive as temptations against faith (or other things like sexual ethics etc).

If you would like to discuss further, you are welcome to send me a private message or reply here.

May God bless you!