Some scrupulous questions

[AaronsStaff]

Hi im 16 and I have a few questions regarding possible sins. I know that i have scrupulous consience, and have obsessive compulsive tendencies, but i need some help deciding on whether certain things are sins because i constantly doubt and cant make a desicion. One time after school i was going to go home with a friend, however the law in my states says that you can only have 3 people in the car when your a driver under the age of 18 and my friend had 5. was it a sin for me to get in the car even if the ride was just down the street? also is it a sin to not wear your seat belt if the law says you must? One time 3 years ago i got a bad grade on a test and if you got below a certain grade you were supposed to get one of your parents to sign the test, I was afraid of my parents getting angry with me so i forged my dads signature on the test. was this a mortal sin? and is it forgiven even though ive forgotten to confess so many times ( ive just recently remembered this and have been to confession many many times since that happened) Also, on one occasion i saw that my older brother’s computer had some bad sites on it, I deleted the ones i saw, and i prayed the divine mercy chaplet for him. was it a sin for me not to bring it up with him personally? (honestly id be quite afraid to do so) Also, on a few occasions, kids at school have sort of put out their views on things related to Christianity, which is alot of stuff related to the davinci code. Is it a sin for me not to challenge them or refute them? And on another note is it sinful for me not to point out that something is wrong or unethical to someone? Like most of the kids i go to school have no religious background and are atheists and dont believe in sin etc, am i still supposed to condemn their actions when it comes to things like cursing, speaking badly about others, or telling dirty jokes. ( i dont participate in this, but is it my obligation to tell them its wrong even if they dont care or dont believe it is? and is it a sin not do so?) And lastly is giving bad advice a sin? by this i mean is it a sin to try and help someone, but they may have had a negative outcome from your advice? I thought that is wasnt a sin (but cant decide), because i wasnt trying to do anyone harm but quite the opposite, I have a big problem with things from the past coming back to “haunt” me, and have an issue with letting go even after ive gone to confession. At times i feel like i just need to lock myself up in isolation in order to escape occasions where sin might take place. One last thing is that i often experience obsessive guilt when it comes to certain things, such as prayer. On certain days i may pray more than usual, and on the following days i feel like i must meet or excede that amount of time for prayer, and if i dont i feel guilty, and that God is dissappointed with me.These are just some of the things that are on my mind.

 

[Pete_1]

These are the ways we can partake in others sins:

quotes are from the Catechism of the Catholic church.

found at: www.Vatican.va:

1868 Sin is a personal act. Moreover, we have a responsibility for the sins committed by others when we cooperate in them:

• by participating directly and voluntarily in them;
• by ordering, advising, praising, or approving them;
• by not disclosing or not hindering them when we have an obligation to do so;
• by protecting evil-doers.

i struggle too with cowardice (especialy when people Blaspheme), its really hard to correct people in their sin.

As for the others did you know they were sins at the time?

These are the requirements for mortal sin:

1857 For a *sin *to be mortal, three conditions must together be met: "Mortal sin is sin whose object is grave matter and which is also committed with full knowledge and deliberate consent."131
1858 Grave matter is specified by the Ten Commandments, corresponding to the answer of Jesus to the rich young man: "Do not kill, Do not commit adultery, Do not steal, Do not bear false witness, Do not defraud, Honor your father and your mother."132 The gravity of sins is more or less great: murder is graver than theft. One must also take into account who is wronged: violence against parents is in itself graver than violence against a stranger.
1859 Mortal sin requires full knowledge and complete consent. It presupposes knowledge of the sinful character of the act, of its opposition to God’s law. It also implies a consent sufficiently deliberate to be a personal choice. Feigned ignorance and hardness of heart133 do not diminish, but rather increase, the voluntary character of a sin.
1860 Unintentional ignorance can diminish or even remove the imputability of a grave offense. But no one is deemed to be ignorant of the principles of the moral law, which are written in the conscience of every man. The promptings of feelings and passions can also diminish the voluntary and free character of the offense, as can external pressures or pathological disorders. Sin committed through malice, by deliberate choice of evil, is the gravest.

ways to uproot sin:

943 By virtue of their kingly mission, lay people have the power to uproot the rule of sin within themselves and in the world, by their self-denial and holiness of life (cf. *LG *36).

I really hope this helps you

 

[banjo]

AaronsStaff,

I recommend that you find a confessor who understands scrupulosity and stay with him.

 

[JimG]

Trust in God who is all merciful, and try not to worry so much.

 

[baltobetsy]

AaronsStaff, here are some thoughts that I hope will be helpful to you.

You cannot commit a sin without intending to. So when your advice to someone turns out badly, it’s sad, but not sinful, unless you purposely tried to cause them trouble by giving bad advice.

You are not responsible to correct every single person you ever come in contact with. Scrupulous people worry very much about their responsibility for the sins of others, as you can see by your own example. You need not correct anyone unless you have some responsibility for their Christian formation, and you have some hope that what you say will have the desired effect. You are not in authority over your classmates, and you know that they do not believe in God as you do, so you need not worry about correcting them. It would be a kindness to pray for their conversion and to make an act of reparation and love to God when they do and say offensive things.

It is your parents’ job, not yours, to bring your brother up to be a good Christian/Catholic. It was not necessary for you to speak to him about the bad things on his computer. It might have been helpful to tell your parents.

Banjo’s advice to find one priest confessor and stay with him is the best of all. Make sure, as Banjo advised, that he understands how to deal with scrupulous people, and then be totally honest about your problem. After that, be confident that you please God by obeying the priest, no matter what he tells you. Sometimes getting over scrupulosity involves doing things that might not be appropriate for people with a normal, healthy conscience. Your obedience is the key to God’s heart, and after all, it’s all about love, isn’t it?

Betsy

 

[Mayo]

First of all I want to tell you as an old man that you are a good boy. YOu are trying to do the right thing by God’s law’s
You did the right thing by getting rid of those immoral pictures off your brother’s Computer. You can still tell your parents about it and let them handle it.
When you go to Confession and your Sins are forgiven. You can forget about them because God has.
You are not alone in worring about past sins. It is a normal thing. The Church teaches that we should not do it. It is God who has forgiven you your sins. The priest is just His Representitive. If you were able to confess your sins to God himself He would forgive you the same way and I know then you would not worry about them.
God may have plans for you to be a Priest. Pray about it…
I like good kids.
Dont ever change your way of thinking but dont worry about everything so much. You are to young Enjoy life.
Your parents has done a great job on bringing you up in the faith.
All The Best Always.

Mayo

 

[puzzleannie]

Hi im 16 and I have a few questions regarding possible sins. I know that i have scrupulous consience, and have obsessive compulsive tendencies, but i need some help deciding on whether certain things are sins because i constantly doubt and cant make a desicion. .

you do not need this help from this forum, from anonymous people who cannot help you. you need this from the priest in confession, who can help you. If you have scrupulous and obsessive tendencies you should NEVER seek outside advice, but find a good priest to whom you confess all the time, and follow his advice. search on the spirituality or AAA forum under scrupulosity for links to 10 commandments for the scrupulous. it is dangerous for you to be discussing your morality concerns with others if you have this problem.

 

[Malcolm_McLean]

This one is easy. It’s the school’s job to catch you and punish you for forging parents’ signatures. As long as you recognise their authority to do that there shouldn’t be an issue with God.

The other ones are harder because they concern your responsibility for others. Ultimately there is no answer to that. You can try to take the sins of the whole world on your shoulders if you want, but accept that you will be crushed under the weight.

 

[Magicsilence]

Hi im 16 and I have a few questions regarding possible sins. I know that i have scrupulous consience, and have obsessive compulsive tendencies, but i need some help deciding on whether certain things are sins because i constantly doubt and cant make a desicion. One time after school i was going to go home with a friend, however the law in my states says that you can only have 3 people in the car when your a driver under the age of 18 and my friend had 5. was it a sin for me to get in the car even if the ride was just down the street? also is it a sin to not wear your seat belt if the law says you must? One time 3 years ago i got a bad grade on a test and if you got below a certain grade you were supposed to get one of your parents to sign the test, I was afraid of my parents getting angry with me so i forged my dads signature on the test. was this a mortal sin? and is it forgiven even though ive forgotten to confess so many times ( ive just recently remembered this and have been to confession many many times since that happened) Also, on one occasion i saw that my older brother’s computer had some bad sites on it, I deleted the ones i saw, and i prayed the divine mercy chaplet for him. was it a sin for me not to bring it up with him personally? (honestly id be quite afraid to do so) Also, on a few occasions, kids at school have sort of put out their views on things related to Christianity, which is alot of stuff related to the davinci code. Is it a sin for me not to challenge them or refute them? And on another note is it sinful for me not to point out that something is wrong or unethical to someone? Like most of the kids i go to school have no religious background and are atheists and dont believe in sin etc, am i still supposed to condemn their actions when it comes to things like cursing, speaking badly about others, or telling dirty jokes. ( i dont participate in this, but is it my obligation to tell them its wrong even if they dont care or dont believe it is? and is it a sin not do so?) And lastly is giving bad advice a sin? by this i mean is it a sin to try and help someone, but they may have had a negative outcome from your advice? I thought that is wasnt a sin (but cant decide), because i wasnt trying to do anyone harm but quite the opposite, I have a big problem with things from the past coming back to “haunt” me, and have an issue with letting go even after ive gone to confession. At times i feel like i just need to lock myself up in isolation in order to escape occasions where sin might take place. One last thing is that i often experience obsessive guilt when it comes to certain things, such as prayer. On certain days i may pray more than usual, and on the following days i feel like i must meet or excede that amount of time for prayer, and if i dont i feel guilty, and that God is dissappointed with me.These are just some of the things that are on my mind.

The best thing is to confess all these things to a priest, and ask him the same questions you have asked us.

And if confessing to a priest is causing you anxiety because of the nature of what you want to confess, what’s the worst that could happen? He rings up the pope and then you are paraded around the streets, mocked, beaten and killed for your sins?

Jesus Christ already took care of that for us , and wants you to grow in His grace through confession, rather than worry about the past to the point of excessive compulsion.

In Him,

 

[peary]

Hi im 16 and I have a few questions regarding possible sins. I know that i have scrupulous consience, and have obsessive compulsive tendencies, but i need some help deciding on whether certain things are sins because i constantly doubt and cant make a desicion. One time after school i was going to go home with a friend, however the law in my states says that you can only have 3 people in the car when your a driver under the age of 18 and my friend had 5. was it a sin for me to get in the car even if the ride was just down the street?

**A ‘sin’ is a personal offense against *God, not ***the state. And doing this you knew that it was against the law and all of you could have gotten in trouble with the law.

also is it a sin to not wear your seat belt if the law says you must?

Same as above.

One time 3 years ago i got a bad grade on a test and if you got below a certain grade you were supposed to get one of your parents to sign the test, I was afraid of my parents getting angry with me so i forged my dads signature on the test. was this a mortal sin?

It was a form of lie, so, yes, I would think that the moral choice was not a good one.

Also, on one occasion i saw that my older brother’s computer had some bad sites on it, I deleted the ones i saw, and i prayed the divine mercy chaplet for him. was it a sin for me not to bring it up with him personally? (honestly id be quite afraid to do so)

You might have wanted to inform your parents in confidentiality and then let them handle the situation.

Also, on a few occasions, kids at school have sort of put out their views on things related to Christianity, which is alot of stuff related to the davinci code. Is it a sin for me not to challenge them or refute them?

It might stimulate a good conversation about the Faith and the truths of the Faith as opposed to what was put forth in the Da Vinci Code.

And on another note is it sinful for me not to point out that something is wrong or unethical to someone? Like most of the kids i go to school have no religious background and are atheists and dont believe in sin etc, am i still supposed to condemn their actions when it comes to things like cursing, speaking badly about others, or telling dirty jokes. ( i dont participate in this, but is it my obligation to tell them its wrong even if they dont care or dont believe it is? and is it a sin not do so?)

You can tell your friends that you are uncomfortable around cursing, bad language, or foul jokes and that you wish that they refrain from doing these things when with you. I don’t know what kind of response you’d get, but if they are true friends, they will understand and watch themselves more than usual.

And lastly is giving bad advice a sin? by this i mean is it a sin to try and help someone, but they may have had a negative outcome from your advice? I thought that is wasnt a sin (but cant decide), because i wasnt trying to do anyone harm but quite the opposite.

there’s an old saying: “No good deed goes unpunished.” Only give advice when asked, and begin by saying, “Well, in my opinion…” Never make it sound as if you have the answers to another’s problems. One usually doesn’t!

I have a big problem with things from the past coming back to “haunt” me, and have an issue with letting go even after ive gone to confession. At times i feel like i just need to lock myself up in isolation in order to escape occasions where sin might take place. One last thing is that i often experience obsessive guilt when it comes to certain things, such as prayer. On certain days i may pray more than usual, and on the following days i feel like i must meet or excede that amount of time for prayer, and if i dont i feel guilty, and that God is dissappointed with me.These are just some of the things that are on my mind.

It is just “my opinion” but I think you are too focused on ‘sin’ and less on God’s forgiveness and mercy and love. When you pray, you might want to spend time focusing on those events in Christ’s life where His love is apparent, and where His forgivenss was noticeable. I think once you change the dynamic of prayer and begin to meditate on God’s love and mercy, you will get it together.

 

[Al_Masetti]

Scrupulousity is an issue that drives a lot of people buggy.

It’s normal, in that sense.

Go here:

mission.liguori.org/newsletters/scrupanon.htm

Then do a search on Catholic Answers Forum, with just the word “scrupulous”. This topic has been discussed at great length before and you might benefit from those previous discussions.

Finally, visit Google and type in “Scrupulous Anonymous” and you will come up with many other useful and helpful discussions that hopefully will provide some relief and enlightenment.

 

[Stella_Matutina]

When you go to Confession, and confess all the sins by number and kind without knowingly holding anything back, all of your sins are forgiven. ALL OF THEM. Even ones that you forgot to mention. So the next week when you go to Confession, if you try to confess something from two weeks ago, you don’t need to, it is already forgiven.

And when God forgives, HE FORGETS!

St. Faustina once sinned and went to Confession. Afterwards she still felt so guilty about the sin, she did not go to Communion. God then told her that this offended Him more than the original sin she committed itself!

I think St. Theresa of Avila(?) was praying once and started apologizing to God again for a sin she had already confessed and God said back to her, “What sin?”— God had already forgotten because she had already made her confession.

Learn more about the Sacrament of Confession. That will help you a lot I think.

And remember, all the sin in all the world is just a speck of sand in the ocean of God’s Infinite Mercy.

God forgives you! I know He does.

Whenever you feel like He has not forgiven you, just repeat to yourself, “Jesus, I trust in you!”