G
Goblin_Taters
Guest
Actually, this post is more about my thoughts, or rather experiences, of the “signs” of vocation, and “signs” generally. Feel free to comment. I’m 24 and a single male. I’ve never dated, although having wanted to for a while. For some reason, I get the same response with each girl I like: “you’re my friend…sorry” Ok, I’m not going to go into the dating issue any further, but I would like to highlight how this has to do with vocation and my thoughts on vocation.
Naturally, people see me, single, not married, a good, somewhat resserved Catholic and ask me, are you going to the seminary? Or, have you ever thought about the priesthood? Whooo… There’s a load of signs there! If a bunch of people start asking you: have you ever considered becoming a priest, and if you balk at the question, that must be a nudge from God, right?
So here I go, several years like this, single, without dating, increasing my interest and knowledge of the Church and Christian theology. Ah! There’s another sign that God is calling you become a priest. You’re a young person who actually prays and studies the Bible, the Church’s teaching, and so on. Well, you’re not married, don’t seem to be getting married soon, so maybe you want to think about the priesthood (nudge nudge).
Ok, so after years of negative reinforcement through rejection, and positive nudging: I begin to wonder: maybe God indeed is conscripting me to his service. I feel the inner torment that comes with this, naturally feel inclined towards one thing, but terrorized by the almost prophetic quality that is attached to these “signs” (as Catholics have interpretted them for me at times). I talk with my Protestant friends about my concerns, and they tell me not to be worried, that God does not force anyone to be single their lives, that he doesn’t force anyone to become a celibate priest. Forbidding someone to marry is the doctrine of devils. During one of the lowest points of my life, I meet a Catholic prophetess-like person online. I start communicating with her. She has visions of Jesus, Mary, the Apostle John, and other wild things. One time I tell her about how I’ve given some past thought about maybe considering the priesthood. She latches onto it, and next thing I know she has these mental visions of me in a cassock, meaning that I will become a priest. I didn’t believe her until I tested her, asking her what color hair and eyes I have. She surprisingly got that right. We talked about other things as well. I distinctly remember her telling me that the Pope after John Paul II (who was still alive at the time) would be Antichrist. He would only appear orthodox.
But back to the signs. What am I to make of all these people asking me how seminary is going, if I plan to become a priest, and so on? These are not the only “signs” I encounter in life. One of my friends, a fundamentalist Christian: meeting him must be a “sign” or a nudge of God pushing me towards the Gospel of Grace Or, when deep in pondering deep religious questions, my salvation, I just happen to pass by a car with a large bumper sticker: “Believe on the Lord Jesus Christ and You will be Saved - Faith Baptist Church.” But why stop at “signs” seeming to point me in the direction of Protestantism. I’m driving to an Eastern Orthodox church, and as I get closer to the church, I notice rays of light peering through the clouds and limelighting the church in the near distance. Or, leaving the same church, the sunset seems to be God’s way of saying “peace.”
Oh yes, the “signs” from prayer. I pray the St. Philomena novena. Supposedly she is accustomed to knocking three times to let the person praying know that the petition is being granted. So, I’m in class on maybe the 8th day, and what happens: the professor rattles his knuckles hard on the desk 3-4 times, imitating some noise pertitent to his own lectured story. Too bad the petition was never answered (contrary to the numerous testimonies in the books).
Hmmm…well, certainly if God wanted me not to become a priest, to be a happy, married lay person, he would have made things a bit easier for me in some ways. But maybe God is purposely placing fences around me. Yes, perhaps the greatest sign of all! God is jeleaously guarding me, because I am his! The firstborn, I am at his service, being kept separate from the world!
Of course, the whole Byzantine turn of events, the refined views on the Papacy, and the Lutheran insights, have thrown a wrench into the “signs” I receive. But hey, it makes life more interesting, if unpredictable.
Naturally, people see me, single, not married, a good, somewhat resserved Catholic and ask me, are you going to the seminary? Or, have you ever thought about the priesthood? Whooo… There’s a load of signs there! If a bunch of people start asking you: have you ever considered becoming a priest, and if you balk at the question, that must be a nudge from God, right?
So here I go, several years like this, single, without dating, increasing my interest and knowledge of the Church and Christian theology. Ah! There’s another sign that God is calling you become a priest. You’re a young person who actually prays and studies the Bible, the Church’s teaching, and so on. Well, you’re not married, don’t seem to be getting married soon, so maybe you want to think about the priesthood (nudge nudge).Ok, so after years of negative reinforcement through rejection, and positive nudging: I begin to wonder: maybe God indeed is conscripting me to his service. I feel the inner torment that comes with this, naturally feel inclined towards one thing, but terrorized by the almost prophetic quality that is attached to these “signs” (as Catholics have interpretted them for me at times). I talk with my Protestant friends about my concerns, and they tell me not to be worried, that God does not force anyone to be single their lives, that he doesn’t force anyone to become a celibate priest. Forbidding someone to marry is the doctrine of devils. During one of the lowest points of my life, I meet a Catholic prophetess-like person online. I start communicating with her. She has visions of Jesus, Mary, the Apostle John, and other wild things. One time I tell her about how I’ve given some past thought about maybe considering the priesthood. She latches onto it, and next thing I know she has these mental visions of me in a cassock, meaning that I will become a priest. I didn’t believe her until I tested her, asking her what color hair and eyes I have. She surprisingly got that right. We talked about other things as well. I distinctly remember her telling me that the Pope after John Paul II (who was still alive at the time) would be Antichrist. He would only appear orthodox.
But back to the signs. What am I to make of all these people asking me how seminary is going, if I plan to become a priest, and so on? These are not the only “signs” I encounter in life. One of my friends, a fundamentalist Christian: meeting him must be a “sign” or a nudge of God pushing me towards the Gospel of Grace Or, when deep in pondering deep religious questions, my salvation, I just happen to pass by a car with a large bumper sticker: “Believe on the Lord Jesus Christ and You will be Saved - Faith Baptist Church.” But why stop at “signs” seeming to point me in the direction of Protestantism. I’m driving to an Eastern Orthodox church, and as I get closer to the church, I notice rays of light peering through the clouds and limelighting the church in the near distance. Or, leaving the same church, the sunset seems to be God’s way of saying “peace.”
Oh yes, the “signs” from prayer. I pray the St. Philomena novena. Supposedly she is accustomed to knocking three times to let the person praying know that the petition is being granted. So, I’m in class on maybe the 8th day, and what happens: the professor rattles his knuckles hard on the desk 3-4 times, imitating some noise pertitent to his own lectured story. Too bad the petition was never answered (contrary to the numerous testimonies in the books).
Hmmm…well, certainly if God wanted me not to become a priest, to be a happy, married lay person, he would have made things a bit easier for me in some ways. But maybe God is purposely placing fences around me. Yes, perhaps the greatest sign of all! God is jeleaously guarding me, because I am his! The firstborn, I am at his service, being kept separate from the world!
Of course, the whole Byzantine turn of events, the refined views on the Papacy, and the Lutheran insights, have thrown a wrench into the “signs” I receive. But hey, it makes life more interesting, if unpredictable.