Sorrow for sins

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coolduude

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Hello all,

I haven’t been around the forums as much as I’d like but I hope you all can help me with this problem :o

When I have committed sins recently I don’t have much, if any, sorrow for them. I know sorrow shouldn’t be limited to feelings so I try to be sorry by recognizing my wrong. But I just don’t see the wrong in my sins. In other words, I don’t want to apologize for my wrongs. I think it’s pride that’s getting in my way, so I’ve been trying to remove it and apologize to God. But I can’t find it in me to be sorry and attain true sorrow for my sins.

How can I attain true sorrow for my sins then? Any ideas? I have been praying over this but I figure asking the forum for help can’t hurt :o

Thanks,
coolduude
 
Feelings are over-rated! An objective repentance & sincere commitment not to sin again will suffice. Sometimes it’s hard to understand fully the impact of our sins, leading to a lack of feeling, but let’s remember, we’re not pentecostals or similar, for whom faith is based on an emotional high. We stick with it, even through the dry times.
 
First try to figure out what the good reason is for avoiding the sin, and the virtue that is its opposite, so that you can understand exactly why the sin shouldn’t be committed and feel sorrow and longing for the greater good that is lost or postponed when you do it. Ultimately vice is a degradation of nature, and virtue is transcendence of it. In other words, you shouldn’t be aiming at not breaking the rules but should be aiming at the value of the virtue that is lost or postponed by the sin. That way you will have a positive motivation toward holiness and not a negative motivation in avoiding rule breaking and punishment.

A good example would be to say that if I have a problem with laziness, I shouldn’t simply focus on how badly laziness breaks the rules, but my focus should be on how far away I am from the ideal of responsibility and all the advantages of being more diligent - thus I become motivated to fight the laziness so I can be lifted up to that ideal. This approach puts the sin in a greater context and helps to truly make one realize how fallen they are apart from the grace of God. It’s humbling to say the least.
 
Wounded Icon gives great advice above. Since you say that you are unable to “feel” sorrow for your sins you need to do a little “re-education” of yourself through reasoning and prayer as to why the sin is a sin…this can be easier with some sins than with others, but if you are studious on the matter, God will enlighten you.

I agree with you that Pride has a lot to do with it. In fact, I would say that Pride is the underlying fault in this that must be subdued. There may be other “deadly sins” attached to the matter (depending on the specific sins) but definitely Pride is the primary blockage to your feeling true sorrow.
Pride is making you see yourself as your own “god” instead of being a true and humble son of Our Father God and brother to Christ.

I strongly advise that you take this matter to confession and do it at the earliest opportunity. Make an appointment with your priest. Then, before going sit and examine your conscience, write out the specific sins, the underlying problem or problems (Pride, Greed, Anger…) and talk to your confessor about this feeling of blockage to true sorrow and repentance.
I have no doubt but that you will find great joy in the graces from confession AND great comfort in the advice you receive from your confessor.

Praying for you.

Peace
James
 
coolduude said:
Hello all,

I haven’t been around the forums as much as I’d like but I hope you all can help me with this problem :o

When I have committed sins recently I don’t have much, if any, sorrow for them. I know sorrow shouldn’t be limited to feelings so I try to be sorry by recognizing my wrong. But I just don’t see the wrong in my sins. In other words, I don’t want to apologize for my wrongs. I think it’s pride that’s getting in my way, so I’ve been trying to remove it and apologize to God. But I can’t find it in me to be sorry and attain true sorrow for my sins.

How can I attain true sorrow for my sins then? Any ideas? I have been praying over this but I figure asking the forum for help can’t hurt :o

Thanks,
coolduude
Click to expand...
Lack of sorrow for sin means only one thing,…no appreciation of how horrible sin really is. Sin is the most terrible and cruel thing that could ever happen.
  1. Take a glance at any crucifix. Who do you see hanging there? Now why was He
    hanging there… one reason only? Did He know you then? Did He know your sins then?
    Was He thinking of you then? What does HIs eyes tell you as He looks into your eyes?
    What kind of pain and agony did He go thru for who? In your mind, put yourself at the
    foot of His suffering, and look up at Him and tell Him that sin means nothing when all
    during His life, that is all he talked about, and finally hung in torture because of it for you.
  2. Now look at those in hell who thought that sin was nothing and without meaning. What was it that put them there? Why didn’t they believe Him that there was a hell, and the aweful fate of those who thought sin wasn’t important. That sin was just an idea to frighten little children and old men. Ask those in hell if sin is important.
  3. And those in purgatory know. That is why they are there because of sin in one way or
    another.
  4. Look at our society and what is wrong with it. Sin doesn’t count? Sin isn’t bad? Sin
    dosen’t destroy? Look around at all the different kinds of abuses. Child, spousal, drug,
    time, money, murder, rape, and on and on and on. SIN. Every sin is an abuse in some
    way. And we start in that direction with our contributions of sin. It is a cancer that
    only knows how to grow.
  5. And the individual person. How does it all start going down hill? Sin.
    Contention, anger, …, is due in large part because of sin which is not confronted, or
    is not thought important. If someone finds themselves adrift without meaning even for a
    little while something is rotting in the depths of themselves.
    And if it starts to rot now, it willl smell worse in eternity. That smell is sin. It changes
    people…and every sin sends them away from their merciful saviour and their real
    home. Each time we sin we contribute to this cesspool, removing another peice of good.
Sin is merciless. It destroys everyone it touches. It is the only thing one really has to fear
because of what it has done and what will continue to do. Hold the cross and pray it.
Just think about how terrible sin must be if it did this to our divine Saviour.
 
Thanks everyone for the replies. This thread has been quite helpful. I especially like Fred’s response above and specifically the first point.

It would be correct to say that my sins killed Jesus, no? And I should be sorry for essentially partaking in the death of our Savior?

I’m still not all the way there yet in terms of sorrow for my sins. But I’m better than I was. 😦 :o
 
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