While I was going through the RCIA process in preparation for my Confirmation in 2000, I met with a spiritual director. I continued to meet with her (a nun) for the following year as well, and then moved out of the area.
I’ve considered searching for another one & have had conversations with friends who are also seeking their own; here are some of the points for consideration that we all seem to be mindful of:
- What is the SD’s relationship with the diocese? (I.e., are they faithful to the Magisterium?)
- How long has the person been an SD, and who have his/her “directees” been? (Religious or laity? Men or women? Married folks or singles?)
- Many saints have found it beneficial to seek direction from a priest, so that they may also benefit from Reconciliation when necessary
I think that it’s okay to meet with someone once or twice with the understanding that you want to decide if his or her style of directing and your style of “directee-ing” will be productive. In my case, I began to feel like I needed more concrete direction and tasks from my director, but her style was more laid-back, reflective and all-around accepting, not challenging.
It’s easy to make the comparison between meeting with an SD and meeting with a therapist, but the substance of those meetings should be very different. (In addition, a good SD should be able to draw that distinction and refer someone to a professional therapist when neccessary, and not incorporate every issue into the spiritual direction.)
In my opinion, spiritual direction should be goal oriented and focused, not meandering and vague. It might be a helpful exercise for you to sit down and list your reasons for seeking direction, and what you would like to do differently in your faith life, and then bring that for discussion to whomever you might find for an SD.
Oh, also: some SDs receive a fee ($10 or $20 per meeting). I didn’t realize this & my SD never said anything; I felt terribly embarrassed when I finally found out!