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ms_cilantro
Guest
Just wondering who has a spiritual director. If you do can you share how you found the person and anything else that would be helpful to know?
Ms. Cilantro
Ms. Cilantro
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Friar_David_O.Carm
Guest
ms cilantro:
This is what I did, I worte an email to an abbey that is near my home and they wrote back…
My suggest is this, is there an abbey near by?
This is what I did, I worte an email to an abbey that is near my home and they wrote back…
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Chaffa55
Guest
I started with my pastor, he was unable to refer me.
A few weeks later, our parish bulletin ran an announcement for an seminar on spiritual direction at a lay apostolate organization in our city. That organization trains spiritual directors (among other things). I spoke to the director, who is a lay Carmelite and a PhD; she wrote her doctoral thesis on spiritual direction. She referred me to a Franciscan sister who works at our local chancery (also a PhD, in theology).
I met with the sister, and she accepted me as a directee. I have worked with her in this role for the last three years, she has helped me a great deal.
I have to give great thanks to the Holy Spirit for this whole process, it has really been a gift of God through the Spirit.
A few weeks later, our parish bulletin ran an announcement for an seminar on spiritual direction at a lay apostolate organization in our city. That organization trains spiritual directors (among other things). I spoke to the director, who is a lay Carmelite and a PhD; she wrote her doctoral thesis on spiritual direction. She referred me to a Franciscan sister who works at our local chancery (also a PhD, in theology).
I met with the sister, and she accepted me as a directee. I have worked with her in this role for the last three years, she has helped me a great deal.
I have to give great thanks to the Holy Spirit for this whole process, it has really been a gift of God through the Spirit.
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Friar_David_O.Carm
Guest
I would suggest that you get a priest as a spiritual father (this is the term we us in the East) as part of spiritual direction is confession.
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mikworld
Guest
My very first reccomendation is to pray for a spiritual director. If it is the will of God, the Holy Spirit will lead you to the person He has in mind for you.
That is basically it. Be open to who you are led to, and our Lord will help you grow tremendously!
God Bless,
Justin
That is basically it. Be open to who you are led to, and our Lord will help you grow tremendously!
God Bless,
Justin
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Miller
Guest
Would you believe that I have a spiritual director and a psychologist in one? Amazing isn’t it? I had been with my psychologist for a few months. My questions regarding my life naturally led me to start asking spiritual questions. I REALLY think there was some very divine intercession working for me.
If this interests you, there is a website that advertises Catholic psychologists. If you do a search I am sure you will come across it. Maybe you too could use help in both areas. I can say, for me, without my psychologist also being my spiritual director, I would be doomed. Really.
-Miller
If this interests you, there is a website that advertises Catholic psychologists. If you do a search I am sure you will come across it. Maybe you too could use help in both areas. I can say, for me, without my psychologist also being my spiritual director, I would be doomed. Really.
-Miller
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CPM
Guest
I’ve had a spiritual director for many years. Pray for God to lead you to the right person. It is recommended that a priest be your director as confession and direction go hand in hand. It needs to be someone that you feel very comfortable with and is a great listener. It may take a little while to get to really know one another, but it is a great gift to have a good director. Be patient…it’s worth waiting for.
cpm
cpm
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DrCat
Guest
I asked my pastor (knowing he would be too busy). He recommended one of the younger priests in the parish - one who had classes in Spiritual Direction in the seminary. I was quite happy with him, but he transferred to another parish too far away for regular visits. (He told me it was too difficult bring a priest in the same parish where he grew up - too many people (including his elementary English teacher (my wife)) “knew him when” (as the saming goes.) As it turned out, his replacement had been studying psychology before he entered the seminary. When I told him that my previous director had transferred, he offered to take over.
ByzCath recommended getting a priest. I second that. I’ve heard people say that your Spiritual Directory and you Confessor should be different, but I find that, since he knows me both from confession and from direction, he is better able to guide my spiritual growth, and is also better able to give a penance that will not only fit the confession, but also aid me in growing spiritually and overcoming whatever it is that is leading me into a specific sin.
John
ByzCath recommended getting a priest. I second that. I’ve heard people say that your Spiritual Directory and you Confessor should be different, but I find that, since he knows me both from confession and from direction, he is better able to guide my spiritual growth, and is also better able to give a penance that will not only fit the confession, but also aid me in growing spiritually and overcoming whatever it is that is leading me into a specific sin.
John
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Fortiterinre
Guest
There are distinctions to be made between a spiritual director and a spiritual counselor or advisor. I definitely agree that a spiritual director should be a priest and your regular confessor who is regularly “directing” or recommending spritual practices and observances for you. A spiritual counselor can be any of these other people, but I would avoid going to a spiritual counselor for actual psychotherapy. I worked for years as a psychological counselor, and while I was happy to work with religious clients, the work we did together was very different from spiritual counseling. Pastoral counseling is a fairly new disicpline, but pastoral counselors are usually credentialed and licensed as psychotherapists and work more like them than like spiritual directors. A therapist who understands your faith and ideally shares it is a wonderful thing, especially since therapists hostile to the faith can do untold damage, but they are still not spiritual directors.
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Anna_Elizabeth
Guest
Thanks, Justin, From where I sit, that’s about the only hope I have of getting one. I just love how they recommend in so many books and on so many programs that one “get a good spiritual director.” Where? How? (There have been good suggestions on these posts, but it is still difficult, especially if one wants an orthodox confessor.) I will just leave it up to the Holy Spirit.
Anna
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Annunciata
Guest
I have a Spiritual Director through my affiliation with “Opus Dei”. Prior to that, my Pastor was my Spiritual Director/ Confessor for many years…he passed away.
I highly recommend it especially if you are seeking to deepen your spiritual life …a must in order to stay on the right track.
I highly recommend it especially if you are seeking to deepen your spiritual life …a must in order to stay on the right track.
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4boyznagrl
Guest
After attending Mass at our new parish, the priest who celebrated took notice that we were new, mind you our church seats 1200 and has 8 masses on the weekends and during the summer, when the Chapel is open there are 5 additional masses. He offered to come out to our house to register us in the parish. I called to set up a time and I popped the question, “Could you recommend a Spiritual Director?”
He was honest, did I think he would be otherwise, and explained that he and the Pastor were short on time but asked if I would consider a retired priest. I said OK. Not only was he a retired priest, but he was the father of six and the grandfather of 13. He had been a marriage counselor and psychologist, as well as a Spiritual Director before his wife passed away from cancer. Not long after she passed he began studing to be a Jesuit priest.
The parish priest called him and he in turned called me, and we set up a time to meet. He interviewed me at my home and we began to meet on a weekly basis. I have been told that meeting so often is unheard of, but I had the time to devote myself completely to my spritual growth and he knew my intentions were good. It’s been two years and we don’t meet as often, but he still provides me direction either by phone or e-mail.
Whenever I was wrestling with a problem, I would always come away with the answer I knew was the right one, the one I knew all along. He knew exactly how to get to the root of the problem, strip away all the selfish motives, without making me feel embarrassed or awkward, so I could see the answer for myself, the one I knew all along was the right one. He made me aware of the Truth and left me free to accept and act on it when the time was right. He is the most remarkable human being I have or will ever meet and I am truly blessed to have him in my life.
He was honest, did I think he would be otherwise, and explained that he and the Pastor were short on time but asked if I would consider a retired priest. I said OK. Not only was he a retired priest, but he was the father of six and the grandfather of 13. He had been a marriage counselor and psychologist, as well as a Spiritual Director before his wife passed away from cancer. Not long after she passed he began studing to be a Jesuit priest.
The parish priest called him and he in turned called me, and we set up a time to meet. He interviewed me at my home and we began to meet on a weekly basis. I have been told that meeting so often is unheard of, but I had the time to devote myself completely to my spritual growth and he knew my intentions were good. It’s been two years and we don’t meet as often, but he still provides me direction either by phone or e-mail.
Whenever I was wrestling with a problem, I would always come away with the answer I knew was the right one, the one I knew all along. He knew exactly how to get to the root of the problem, strip away all the selfish motives, without making me feel embarrassed or awkward, so I could see the answer for myself, the one I knew all along was the right one. He made me aware of the Truth and left me free to accept and act on it when the time was right. He is the most remarkable human being I have or will ever meet and I am truly blessed to have him in my life.
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AnnieD
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I prayed about getting a Spiritual Advisor and my prayers were recently answered. My Spiritual Advisor is a priest and I will be meeting with him once a month. I had known him previously, but finally got the courage up to ask him if he would be my spiritual advisor and he said yes.
Annie
Annie
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loyola_rambler
Guest
If you have a university ministry or a Catholic hospital in your area, they’re great places to call. Many, many spiritual directors also work with the sick as hospital chaplains or volunteer their time working with college students. I found mine by calling a religious order’s mother house and asking for a referral to a quality SD. They introduced me to a wonderful nun from another order who works in my area. The other place to call is your local diocesan office (or Vicarate office if you’re in a larger area) because they keep good track of everyone offering spiritual direction in their area.
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Patrick
Guest
Just wondering? Do you pay a spiritual director? I would assume that if it is your pastor the answer would be no. But I’m wondering about the situation cited about a “retired” priest, or someone from a local monastery or even a private person. Would some expect a donation to their religious order?
Patrick
Patrick
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kaygee
Guest
I heard a semi-retired priest speak on confession and was so moved, I made a confession appointment with him (hadn’t been for a LONG time). I asked him after my confession if he would be my spiritual director. He said that although he does spiritual direction, he didn’t have time to take on another directee. However, he did indicate that it would be OK to go to him to make confession on a regular basis. Now, a couple of years later, that relationship has evolved into a confessor cum spiritual director – don’t know exactly when it happened, but it did. Kinda feel like I snuck in through the back door, but he seems OK with it, and I’m delighted with his generosity! persistance paid off. . .
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Lance
Guest
You people who have a priest as a spiritual director are very, very lucky. I am in a parish of about 3200 families and we have one, yes just one, priest. We are supposed to get another one soon, so maybe the chances of having a spiritual director who is a priest will be a little better. We recently had an ex-priest from our parish pleed guilty to molestation charges, so the school and parish are in turmoil. If it is not an emergency, what with my work schedule and our pastor being overloaded, it takes a couple of months to even get to to talk to him. Some of our confessors are from an Abby in the next town, but they are all over worked and are not taking on additional duties. So in our area your best bet is to find a lay person with a solid understanding of the faith and trust them. I am praying to find one.
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asquared
Guest
good luck, I have been active in parish work for over 20 years in 3 diocese around the country, have never met or known of a priest doing less than 3 full time jobs, let alone one with time to provide spiritual direction. ability to be a director is not automatic with ordination. Most confessors over the years have told be to be brief, be honest and be gone, want just the facts, maam. the retired priests I know are also fully occupied as chaplains or other duties. there is a retreat center near my home with a resident spiritual director who has published in that field, I try to find the money to stay there for a weekend once a year and make an appointment with him, one of the wisest men I have ever known. The 3 people he recommended to me in my diocese have all since died or moved on. two former directors who were nuns have since left the order, which caused me to question their ability and sincerity
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phillycaster
Guest
As others have responded, I found my spiritual director through a strange sequence of events. I was starting to pray the Office and was looking for a spot where it was prayed in a community so I could see how to do it “right”. A good priest friend of mine recommended an abbey close to my office. I looked them up via the internet and sent an email to one of the priests. He invited me to join them for mid-day prayer. We met afterward and I mentioned where I was spritiually and somehow spiritual direction came up. Lo and behold the abbey has a whole contingent of trained spiritual directors. He said he would check it out and have one of them contact me. I was very lucky to get the gentleman I did and even though we’ve only been working otgether four months I really enjoy it.
I agree with others ithat you’ll be very luck to find a priest that can spend a great deal of time meeting with you and praying for direction on how to direct you. As for the spiritual director also being your confessor, is there any reason why you can’t dicsuss with your SD what was discussed in the confessional? After all, the priest is the one bound to secrecy, not you!
As for payment, the local abbey has some envelopes out where you sign in to make donations to support the program. Must confess tha tI picked up an envelope but haven’t mailed it yet!
This thread is a little old so hopefully you’ve been able to find your own spiritual director by now.
I agree with others ithat you’ll be very luck to find a priest that can spend a great deal of time meeting with you and praying for direction on how to direct you. As for the spiritual director also being your confessor, is there any reason why you can’t dicsuss with your SD what was discussed in the confessional? After all, the priest is the one bound to secrecy, not you!
As for payment, the local abbey has some envelopes out where you sign in to make donations to support the program. Must confess tha tI picked up an envelope but haven’t mailed it yet!
This thread is a little old so hopefully you’ve been able to find your own spiritual director by now.
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