Spiritual Director

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Regina7

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Where can I find one? I asked my parish priest and he said he can’t (he’s fairly new and has a lot to do). My diocese doesn’t have any particular department or person assigned to this (as far as I can tell). I met a monk who lived in a community over two hours away…but it’s just too hard to drive there every month.

I desperately need a spiritual advisor. Basically, I’ve been utilizing the priest in the confessional, but I need/want more.

So, where did you find your spiritual advisor? Perhaps I can get ideas from your answers.

Thank you!
 
When your priest said he couldn’t do it, did he have any suggestions for you? Does he know of anyone else?

The monk two hours away may be a good choice. I drive about an hour and a half to see my director and consider it time well spent. Particularly on the drive back, I have time to reflect on what we talked about.

Are there any other convents or monasteries in your area? What about a retreat house? Again, if they don’t provide direction, they may know who does.

You might also check with the Vocations Office at the diocese. Even if you’re not discerning a vocation, they may have directors they know of.
 
SuscipeMeDomine said:
When your priest said he couldn’t do it, did he have any suggestions for you? Does he know of anyone else?

The monk two hours away may be a good choice. I drive about an hour and a half to see my director and consider it time well spent. Particularly on the drive back, I have time to reflect on what we talked about.

Are there any other convents or monasteries in your area? What about a retreat house? Again, if they don’t provide direction, they may know who does.

You might also check with the Vocations Office at the diocese. Even if you’re not discerning a vocation, they may have directors they know of.
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My priest just came back from 14 years in Poland, so he’s kinda out of the loop.

I don’t mind the long drive, but my kids can’t handle it.

I didn’t think to check the Vocations Office- thank you!!!
 
You can google “Catholic spiritual director”. I got good results from finding an organization called catholicspiritualdirection.com. From that place I got one-on-one SD from a wonderful religious (woman). I also saw a couple SD’s in person, which didn’t work out very well–after a couple years, I learned my Catholic SD didn’t believe in hell…and neither did the NUN I went to next!

Incidentally, I also got my SD certification from The Haden Institute in 2006, it was a joint venture with a Carmelite Monastery near me…but I never used it as a vocation. I got it because I was sponsoring many young women in AA and I wanted more guidance in that area. Kind of a “do no harm” deal.

There’s also a “spiritual directors international” – just make sure you get a Catholic one (if that’s what you desire.) The SDI members pay to have their names and bios on the site.

Good luck.
 
I found my current spiritual director after a search lasting more than a year and taking me as much as 225 miles from home. As it is, I drive 20 minutes to my appointments with a priest who was not in the diocese at the time I began my quest (thus explaining why it took so long to find him).

I say this only to point out that it may take some time to find the right spiritual director for you. As I said in another recent thread, I know a lady who looked for her current SD for eight years. Take your time and don’t settle. It is important to have a director who is faithful to the Church’s teachings and willing to tell you what you need to hear to progress in your spiritual life, even if what (s)he has to say isn’t what you think you want to hear.

If you find your search takes longer than you thought it would, you may find helpful suggestions for what to do in the meantime in Daniel Burke’s book Navigating the Interior Life. This book also includes info on what spiritual direction is (and what it isn’t), what to look for in a spiritual director, where to find one, questions to ask a potential spiritual director to determine if (s)he may be a good fit for you, how to prepare for your meetings (particularly the first one), and warning signs that the relationship may not beneficial to one or both of you.

God bless you on your journey towards Him!
 
Your spiritual director does not have to be a priest. Are there any Deacons running around parish who could take on the role?
 
Sorry, I failed to mention that also: a spiritual director does not necessarily have to be a priest. I did approach several laypersons for direction but every single one told me, after listening to my story (a very long one that I don’t wish to elaborate upon), that my situation is particular and I need to be guided by a priest. The key phrase, however, is “my situation is particular.” YMMV. Please don’t fall into the trap of believing that priests somehow make better SDs just because they’re priests. There are many wonderful SDs who are religious men and women, permanent deacons, and members of the laity.
 
You can ask nuns/sisters…there are also spiritual lays who can do spiritual direction (examples…campus ministers, retreat/recollection facilitators, Religious studies teacher) or if there is an absence find a community…The community helps a lot…because of the group dialogue and prayer…Find a community…Well ofcourse the most basic answer is ask JESUS…
Yes. in my case I asked Jesus to give me a spiritual director…the director may come not as you expect but as is most fitting for you
 
janiruchan said:
You can ask nuns/sisters…there are also spiritual lays who can do spiritual direction (examples…campus ministers, retreat/recollection facilitators, Religious studies teacher) or if there is an absence find a community…The community helps a lot…because of the group dialogue and prayer…Find a community…Well ofcourse the most basic answer is ask JESUS…
Yes. in my case I asked Jesus to give me a spiritual director…the director may come not as you expect but as is most fitting for you
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What kind of community do you mean?

Everyone, thanks for the answers! You’ve given me ideas to explore.
 
Regina7 said:
What kind of community do you mean?
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A Lay community, Third Order. There are many in various parts of the country (US), Carmelites, Benedictines, Franciscans, etc. (I’m not really familiar with the Lay Communities outside the US)

I’m a Lay Carmelite in 2nd year of Formation. As janirrchan did, I asked our Lord to help me find a spiritual director. I found the Lay Carmelites. The community is the answer to my prayer–we pray together, we learn together. It’s wonderful–like finding another family, only, it’s spiritual.
 
There are other communities as well. I belong to a small Christian community – a small group that comes together weekly to read and discuss the Sunday readings. It’s a faith sharing group, not spiritual direction, but it’s a good place to talk about our faith lives, how to be a better Christian, and to encourage each other.
 
Essentials about Spiritual Direction

What is Spiritual Direction? - Spiritual direction is the interaction of a person and a spiritual director to help the person notice and respond to the movement of God as experienced in prayer and in the events of ordinary life.

What does a Spiritual Director do? - The director acts as a listening, supportive person who creates an atmosphere where one can look honestly at his or her relationship with God as it is lived out in everyday life.

How often do people Interact with their Spiritual Director? - Frequency of interaction (visits) varies with the person and with the happenings of one’s life at a particular time. Some people come once a week, others every two weeks, some every month or even less often. When interacting via email, this can take the form of multiple messages each week or day, supplemented by private on-line chats or in person encounters.

What should I look for in a Spiritual Director? - You want to find someone who (1) has a good faith life, (2) is loyal to the teachings of the church, (3) is someone with whom you would be comfortable sharing your spiritual experiences, and (4) is someone who will be totally honest with you.

What is a Spiritual Companion? - A Spiritual Companion is a person with whom a person mutually shares their experiences of their spiritual journeys and helps to keep the other on track. It helps if both people are under the direction of the same Spiritual Director.
Is being a Spiritual Director the same as being a Confessor? - No, these are very different roles. A confessor is a priest who hears your confession and may provide guidance of specific areas of sin.

Can my Spiritual Director be my Confessor? - Yes, the same person can fulfill the two roles if he is an ordained priest.
  • the above is a document I prepared a long time ago -
Where to find one? Ask your pastor and diocese about people they know of in your area that serve as spiritual directors.
 
Opus Dei priests seem to specialize in this area. See if the Opis Dei are in your community and start there.
 
If you live in an area with several Catholic Churches, visit them and get to know the priests there.

I work in one parish, am a member of another, and see the pastor at a third for spiritual direction. (I knew who he was and heard him speak…a couple of things he said struck a cord, so for a week I prayed about asking him. Then, for another week, I prayed for him – that he would discern well, not feel obligated to say yes, etc.)
 
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