Spiritual Director

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How do we go about finding a “Spiritual Director”? Do they charge by the hour like a psychologist would? How can we be sure we are not getting advice from a New Age Catholic who puts out her/his shingle as a Spiritual Director? Out here on the left coast I am a bit leery about looking for a director. Do you think a woman should have a female? Does anyone out there have a S D and it is worth the effort of finding one? :ehh:
 
Good Morning

I have never paid a Spiritual Director. I have had one on and off for 35 years but never occured to me to pay one.

When I have moved to a new area, I have gone and asked my pastor for a few names he might recommend. I have only used my own pastor one time as a SD.

There is an abbott in your area that is fantastic. He is my daughter in laws SD and they actually talk by phone as she is in Shasta County.
 
Personally I just got a spiritual director about 3 or 4 weeks ago for the first time. Mine is a Trappist monk, but currently he is a hermit living about 2 or 3 miles from the monastery. I completely trust his advice.

I am a lot more comfortable with having a monk as my spiritual director, because generally I feel that they tend to be more solid. However, that’s not always the case.

Anyway, if there’s a monastery close to you, I would look there.
 
Brother Stobie’s links are on the money. Dubay’s book is excellent.

I’ll just add: It only works if both parties take it seriously.
 
Thanks guys and gals! I’ll look for those books.

An abbot in the San Jose area??? Where?

I am in Reno about 12 times a year (no, I don’t gamble…we have a place there) I like a particular church there (Immaculate Conception) better than any I’ve found back here. Since I would be considered a “transient” to the parish I haven’t felt I should be taking time away from the regular parishioners by asking Father King for advice. I’m shy when it comes to asking for favors. But I do believe I would trust his advice.
 
I would like to have someone who I consider my spiritual director, but somehow I think I’m just too ordinary a person to have one – somehow it seems kind of pretentious. I don’t suffer from low self-esteem – I just don’t know how I would approach someone to ask about spiritual direction. What would I say if they asked me what I was looking for or what I wanted to get out of it? I’m not sure I know.

I was thinking about asking one of our RCIA teachers (I just went through it last year), who I really admired as a teacher, but I just found out she left our parish because of serious differences with our pastor – but I love our priest and consider him to be a holy man, so now I’m really questioning my ability to make a good decision.

Any help or advice would be appreciated,
Tricia Frances
 
Well, I just looked at some of the links referred to in this thread, and I think I found the answer to my own questions:

The following is a prayer by Thomas Stobie, SFO
O Most Loving God,

Thank you for all the gifts you have bestowed upon me. I love You and want to grow closer to You.

Lead me to the Spiritual Director that You want for me, so that he can help me grow closer and deep in love with You.

Bless my Spiritual Director with the gifts to understand me and my journey, to direct me that I can understand myself better, and to represent You when he advises me.

Amen.
Thank you, Thomas.

Tricia Frances
 
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triciafrancess:
I would like to have someone who I consider my spiritual director, but somehow I think I’m just too ordinary a person to have one – somehow it seems kind of pretentious. I don’t suffer from low self-esteem – I just don’t know how I would approach someone to ask about spiritual direction. What would I say if they asked me what I was looking for or what I wanted to get out of it? I’m not sure I know.
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Dear triciafrancess,

I am just an ordinary person and my wife urged me to start spiritual direction. It was the best thing that ever happened to me.

In our particular diocese there is a “Spiritual Life Center” where many events, meetings and retreats are held, and there were two spiritual directors who worked there.

You needn’t worry about “what you want to get out of it.” I’ve met two directors, one was very unstructured and the other followed somewhat of a program. They will help you find what you need. If you are asked, you can simply answer, “I wish to improve my prayer life” or “I wish to find ways to increase my faith.”

Currently I am not seeing a spiritual director because the last one was moved away and when I met his replacement it didn’t seem like the right time to engage with him. That will probably change soon. It’s perfectly OK to meet with a spiritual director and then decide not to continue if you or the director doesn’t think it is right.

As far as paying, some don’t charge. Mine didn’t exactly “charge,” but when I asked at the desk if they could suggest a donation amount they said $10 if I wished. Our sessions ran about an hour. I’d go in with nothing to say and the hour would go by so fast it was amazing.

Alan
 
Thank you, Alan. Your reply is really helpful.

God bless you and your family.

Tricia Frances
 
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