Spiritual Director

[solanus]

I am a 31 year old married father of two young girls who is a revert to the faith. I had a strong conversion about 4 years ago and am struggling with certain aspects of my faith and life. Basically I am in love with Christ and his Church. However, I have no one to share this with. My parish is an older parish, my wife thinks I am nuts, my family has all fallen away and my parish priest is very busy with a large parish. I feel like I am at a spiritual and moral dead end, that no matte how much I pray I just fall short or have no answer for what I am trying to do or discerning on. Any suggestions? Or anyone going through a simialr situation ? I live in the Detroit Michigan area…

p.s. Catholic Answers had a huge impact on my way back to the Church. Thanks!

 

[michael_servant]

There is a wonderful Catholic men’s organization called Catholic Men’s Fellowship. It has been a God send to me. Catholic men who are struggling with their faith and the living of it each day gather once a week, many on Saturday mornings, at their parish to share their thoughts, read Scripture and the Catechism, and pray together. I’ve been a member for eight years and rarely miss a meeting. It strengthens me, spiritually refreshes me, empowers me and helps me realize that I am not alone in my struggle. I believe, as does my wife, that I am now a better husband, father and member of my parish because of this experience. www.catholicmensresources.org is the site for National Fellowship of Catholic Men and will give you some information about your area. Click on Fellowships at the top of the page and it will take you to a list of national fellowships. I’m hoping there is one in your area. Peace my brother.

 

[The_Barrister]

michael servant:

There is a wonderful Catholic men’s organization called Catholic Men’s Fellowship. It has been a God send to me. Catholic men who are struggling with their faith and the living of it each day gather once a week, many on Saturday mornings, at their parish to share their thoughts, read Scripture and the Catechism, and pray together. I’ve been a member for eight years and rarely miss a meeting. It strengthens me, spiritually refreshes me, empowers me and helps me realize that I am not alone in my struggle. I believe, as does my wife, that I am now a better husband, father and member of my parish because of this experience. www.catholicmensresources.org is the site for National Fellowship of Catholic Men and will give you some information about your area. Click on Fellowships at the top of the page and it will take you to a list of national fellowships. I’m hoping there is one in your area. Peace my brother.

Beautiful response, brother. I bookmarked the site. Thanks!

 

[JKirkLVNV]

solanus:

my wife thinks I am nuts

Is there a monastery near you? I’ve had two soul friends and found them quite helpful. Respectfully and gently, your first vocation is as a husband.

 

[solanus]

Is there a monastery near you? I’ve had two soul friends and found them quite helpful. Respectfully and gently, your first vocation is as a husband.

I know, and I tell my wife that I need her patience and support as my reason is for my journey is to fullfill my vocation as husband and father. I have to remind myself constantly of this…What are soul friends? Thanks for the response btw.

 

[Joysong]

Hello Solanus,

It’s so nice to meet someone from my home town. I often went to Father Solanus’s Capuchin monastery, I would have given anything to find a spiritual director, and even called the Chancery in Detroit to ask for the name of a director who was able to help with prayer. They sent me to a couple of priests, but they were not able to help very much. I lived on the east side of Detroit in St. Clair Shores.

I do understand your hunger to share the Lord in community with others who are like-minded, and it is a real suffering to go it alone. Not knowing your spiritual attraction, it is difficult to offer advice, but you might look into one of the many secular third orders which should be present in a city as large as Detroit. Depending on the charism of your spirit, you would have a lot to choose from.

One thing that I found joy in was a bible study group that met regularly. Again, there must be some parishes in your area that offer something like this. I had gone many years to Sacred Heart in Roseville. You need to do some calling, and ask the Lord to lead you. I will pray that you find your niche!

 

[JKirkLVNV]

solanus:

I know, and I tell my wife that I need her patience and support as my reason is for my journey is to fullfill my vocation as husband and father. I have to remind myself constantly of this…What are soul friends? Thanks for the response btw.

Probably a step down from a spiritual director, though my soul friends were a priest and a nun. They are people who talk with you about you about your journey in the faith, recc. reading and meditations, and if the person is a priest, he is usually also your confessor.

 

[solanus]

Joysong - you are right from my neck of the woods, I drive past sacred heart all the time .

Michael Servant - Thanks for the link, but there is nothing in my area…

Thanks all for the response’s. I have met with my parish priest and he turned my on to a local retired ( are they ever retired) priest who has a full schedule of filling in at parishes, part time teaching at our local seminary, etc… I called the Mother House for the IHM nuns and asked if one of the older sisters would be interested in any spirtual direction and I was advised that they have a “Spiritual Center” that seemed a little new agey to me…

I dont know guys, I have felt this for 2 years and I have tried maybe not hard enough but I really feel stuck in spiritual quick sand , what ever that means…Pray for me and keep the suggestions coming. I believe in you guys

All kidding aside I appreciate the feed back…

 

[Joysong]

solanus:

Joysong - you are right from my neck of the woods, I drive past sacred heart all the time .

I dont know guys, I have felt this for 2 years and I have tried maybe not hard enough but I really feel stuck in spiritual quick sand , what ever that means…Pray for me and keep the suggestions coming. I believe in you guys .

Are you having a problem in a particular area? Maybe we could recommend some books, if we knew. That’s better than nothing at all, huh? Or do you just have a hunger to grow spiritually closer to God and be faithful to what He desires of you?

 

[michael_servant]

Solanus: Sorry there was not a CMF group in your area. I would like to suggest a resource for you. Word Among Us Press publishes a spiritual exercise called For The Greater Glory Of God, A Spiritual Retreat with St. Ignatius. It will help you explore some personal spiritual issues as your relationship with Christ grows and you begin to meet the new challenges that lie ahead. Check with your local Catholic bookstore. I have something else that might be of interest to you. Click on this website www.mensfellowship.com and you’ll see a posting for a Catholic Men’s Conference that will be held at U of D in Calahan Hall on February 5th.You are on a wonderful journey my brother…just know our prayers are with you. Peace.

 

[Raphael]

Some other suggestions might be join the Knights of Columbus, or Legion of Mary. Pray always. Join the confraternity of the Rosary. Become more involved in the churches communitiy life as a eucharistic minister. Take communion to the sick in the parish or in your local acute care facility. Give yourself. Pour yourself out.

Start your prayers out like “My Love, My Dove, My Beautiful One come to me your worthless unfaithful spouse and hold me in your arms my precious Lord, My God, My Love, My All.” Etc.

 

[solanus]

Are you having a problem in a particular area? Maybe we could recommend some books, if we knew. That’s better than nothing at all, huh? Or do you just have a hunger to grow spiritually closer to God and be faithful to what He desires of you?

My biggest problem is I know Christ is calling me to be Holy, as he calls all, but like many people here I actually feel it and know it. Most people are not lucky enough to be in my posistion. That being said I run up against people close to me and who “love” me who oppose it and who see the Church and her teachings as “old” and “not open or accepting of todays issues”.

This on top of my prayer life suffering, I try to make time every day to pray and speak with the Lord. My favorite time is at night, but my wife views it as time away from her or that I dont want to be with her. So I have really removed my self from taking time during the evening to pray.

Reading is my passion, but like above, my wife feels the same way. In her defense we have two little children, so I agree with her to a point but I believe we all need time to pray and be with God. She does not feel this.

Most of all the past four years I have learned so much and come so far spirtually that I want to actually take that next step and try and become this person I want to be. A defender of the faith, a true disciple of God, a teacher and most of all a great husband and father. But I feel like I need a push (men or women who are in the same boat as me) and direction (spirtual director)…Ultimately it does come down to me, many of the great saints were never understood or accepted and i understand this. I am obviously not comparing myself to any saint that is why I feel Christ is moving me to find a director etc…
Did that confuse you more Joyson :whacky: ?

You mentioned calling the Chancelors office, that is exactly what I planned on doing this weekend…You said he turned you on to a couple of priests but they did not help. What happened?

Raphael - That is a beautiful prayer, thank you! I will begin to use that.

Servant - I went to the conference last year, it was great. I do plan on attending again. Thanks

 

[Annunciata]

solanus:

I am a 31 year old married father of two young girls who is a revert to the faith. I had a strong conversion about 4 years ago and am struggling with certain aspects of my faith and life. Basically I am in love with Christ and his Church. However, I have no one to share this with. … I feel like I am at a spiritual and moral dead end, that no matte how much I pray I just fall short or have no answer for what I am trying to do or discerning on. Any suggestions? Or anyone going through a simialr situation ? I live in the Detroit Michigan area…

p.s. Catholic Answers had a huge impact on my way back to the Church. Thanks!

Others have given you excellent advice … It isn’t always easy to find a good Spiritual Director so don’t give up!
I think this place is a good start for now! Annunciata

 

[puzzleannie]

someone dear to me was brought back to the Catholic faith and into a life of joy, commitment and intense spirituality through one visit to Assumption Grotto. He ran into an old buddy who invited him, fell in love with the beauty of the liturgy. He was privileged to meet at talk with Fr. Hardon, God rest his soul, that holy priest and master catechist. He attended Assumption Grotto for a couple of years while he lived in the Detroit area, and found a network of likeminded people, began assisting with a video ministry. He now lives up north in a tiny mission parish and is looking for a way to become a deacon.

 

[Joysong]

Dear Solanus,

I think you and I could write the same book! :clapping:

My biggest problem is I know Christ is calling me to be Holy, as he calls all, but like many people here I actually feel it and know it. I hear you!

*This on top of my prayer life suffering, I try to make time every day to pray and speak with the Lord. My favorite time is at night, but my wife views it as time away from her or that I dont want to be with her. So I have really removed my self from taking time during the evening to pray. *That was my favorite time also, and I used to fall asleep talking to Christ. In my efforts to be with my husband, I strove to watch some TV with him in the evening, but our taste in programming was radically different, and it caused real suffering to remain attentive, all the while my spirit wanted to go and pray!!!

Reading is my passion, but like above, my wife feels the same way. I used to devour books, and got the same response from my husband, who felt neglected. Mind you, we would be in the same room together, but he wanted my full attention, as he put it.

Most of all the past four years I have learned so much and come so far spirtually that I want to actually take that next step and try and become this person I want to be. God did lead me to become a CCD teacher and a lector, attend bible-study and meet some good friends, and just stay open to His leading. In spite of your apparent handicap, He will manage to bring us where we are supposed to be in serving Him. Trust me!

You mentioned calling the Chancelors office, that is exactly what I planned on doing this weekend…You said he turned you on to a couple of priests but they did not help. What happened? They were not at all familiar with mystical prayer, which is something I’m sure you are experiencing at times due to the intensity of your devotion. I did not know what was happening to me, but I had no doubt it was God, and wanted to cooperate in every way with His grace. What was shocking to me was that they did not understand. I had the naive impression that I was just coming into what ALL priests and nuns already knew! I had expressed the need for a priest who is familiar with these ways of prayer when I called the Chancery. Apparently, they do not classify the gifts of their priests. I felt rather foolish to say the least.

I’m afraid this posting will go into time-out and I’ll lose it, as I have done other times. So I’ll close for now and post more later. Meanwhile, count on my prayers, and be comforted that I truly understand you!

 

[rwoehmke]

solanus:

I called the Mother House for the IHM nuns and asked if one of the older sisters would be interested in any spirtual direction and I was advised that they have a “Spiritual Center” that seemed a little new agey to me…

I went to school at Holy Cross High(no longer open) in Marine City, Michigan. We had IHM nuns. My wife had IHM nuns at Holly Redeemer on Detriots SW side. We would not recommend them for spiritual direction.

My suggestion. Join the K of C Council near you and look for like minded guys in the Council. Some of us here formed a Saturday Mens Breakfast which has been going now for over 15 years.The K of C publication Columbia provides some excellent Catholic reading.

Father Solanus was born just downriver from our parish here in Western Wisconsin. He made his first communion in our parish of St. Patrick’s. Through his intercession my daughter recovered from AARDS and I recovered from a major heart attack during which my kidneys and liver shut down and my lungs filled with fluid. Praise God for all his graces. Dick

 

[solanus]

I think you and I could write the same book! :clapping:

Thanks for the great response Joysong, it sure is comforting knowing that there are other people going through what I am dealing with. You sound like you made it through ok and you have no idea how much that inspires me! Thanks!

I am going to sit down tonight and map out a spiritual “plan” based on suggestions I have received here. It includes joining the Knights , trying to find a Scripture study and talking with my wife about how I need her support with my prayer life as I need this as a Father and Husband.

Thanks again all and I am still listening if you have any other ideas.