Spirituality and misunderstanding

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Monica4316

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I know that such things shouldn’t bother us… But sometimes I feel sad because of this. I think to some people, perhaps many people, my relationship with God and the hopes and goals that come from it, might just seem crazy. For people this can come in many forms, for example being in a non Catholic family who think you’re brainwashed or moralistic , or discerning a vocation and others thinking you’re weird not to marry, etc. I’m not making this thread to go into my own situation too much but just in general, how do we deal with something like this?

Some people just don’t seem to care, but I sometimes feel sad that I can’t freely share my faith or how I see God with people close to me. Things that bring me the most joy, would bring them pain. The way I see God or relate to Him - might seem crazy to some people. I don’t mean that there’s anything unorthodox. Rather the part that relates to vocations. Does anyone have this too? How do you not get discouraged? I feel like my relationship with God is a secret, something very special to me, but something that would worry and sadden those closest to me.

I don’t think we should share our spirituality much with others, even those who agree, as that is very personal and meant to be in the interior intimate part of the person, for God alone. The only place to really open up is in spiritual direction. But I’m beginning to see how people important to me might disagree with how I relate to God. I don’t mean about sharing truths of the faith. I believe in evangelism. I am talking about ones own relationship with Our Lord.

Any thoughts?
 
Monica,

It is not easy to share spiritual insights we have with everyone. On a certain level I can share with some people about basic spiritual things,…but the deep longings of the heart can’t be shared with everyone.

For those really deep longings of the heart it is well to have a good spiritual adviser who understands those things and can share wisdom.
 
Know that if you are living the good life you are not in the wrong. The virtue of faith contains the certainty. “For so is the will of God, that by doing well you may put to silence the ignorance of foolish men” (1 Pet 2:15)

Again, Abba Or, a desert father (in the region and days of the start of monasticism), said “If you are fleeing, flee from men; or the world and the men in it will make you do many foolish things.” (Apophthegmata Patrum, archive.org)

Moreover, if you are not certain about your way of life in regard to the person of Jesus, who is “the way, the truth, and the life” you need counsel.

Counsel, judgement, then command (to yourself or others)- “the end of counsel being the discovery of what has to be done, and the end of judgment, certainty” (Sth II-II, q. 51, a. 2) This order taught by Saint Thomas Aquinas (found online, if googled) is the content of the virtue of euboulia, a supplement to the cardinal virtue of Prudence.
 
God > Man

Why the whims of men matter so much?

Jesus shared, many did not like it or thought he was wierd and subsequently was killed.

Pontius Pilate thought Jesus should be let go but cared what man thought.

Be Jesus, not Pilate.
 
Thank you for the replies … I think for me its mostly that I’m making someone very close to me suffer because of where I’m going spiritually. I do have a spiritual director. If it clarifies anything I’m speaking of vocations. A celibate life and reasons for it can be misunderstood and seem kind of ‘crazy’ to people.
 
Jesus said once about the people in his own town,Nazareth, a prophet is never accepted by its own. Like those people said, “don’t we know his father and mother?” They couldn’t believe because he grew up with them and was one of their own. So Jesus couldn’t be special to them since they knew him on the street named familiarity. This is especially true if a desire is expressed to follow a religious vocation.

St. Benedict however was different. He had a sister who was the prioress of an abbey. Whenever they met, they would talk about God and share their thoughts with one another. In fact, one time they got rather carried away into the night with it.

It might work if the person you shared your deep faith with was someone like yourself in that deep faith. There are some around like that who are sound but deep and spiritual. There is a group in the church along this line who speak in tongues.

I think that the Protestants have a grip on sharing faith with others by their bible studies, but we seem to be catching up. And their are many Catholic groups/movements/societies that do this faith sharing as well. Cursillo movement, CHRP, and others.

“And now we follow you with all our heart and we revere you and seek your face.” Daniel 3
 
Monica4316 said:
I’m not making this thread to go into my own situation too much but just in general, how do we deal with something like this?
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Honestly, we live in an extremely demonic and vice-ridden society that sees almost everything from the perspective of atheistic materialism and scientism.

I’m reminded of a Mother Angelica insight: if the world thinks you’re a nut or a crank, you should take that as a compliment. The world usually has everything exactly backwards.

I think the key is to mortify the vice of human respect, which is exactly what almost everyone is trained not to do, via a preoccupation with what is or is not Politically Correct and “appropriate,” or what does or does not constitute society’s understanding of tolerance.

Frankly, a lot of us want to be nice, but we don’t mean a Christian understanding of virtuous kindness by that term, we just mean we want to defer to human respect.
 
Monica4316 said:
I know that such things shouldn’t bother us… But sometimes I feel sad because of this. I think to some people, perhaps many people, my relationship with God and the hopes and goals that come from it, might just seem crazy. For people this can come in many forms, for example being in a non Catholic family who think you’re brainwashed or moralistic , or discerning a vocation and others thinking you’re weird not to marry, etc. I’m not making this thread to go into my own situation too much but just in general, how do we deal with something like this?

Some people just don’t seem to care, but I sometimes feel sad that I can’t freely share my faith or how I see God with people close to me. Things that bring me the most joy, would bring them pain. The way I see God or relate to Him - might seem crazy to some people. I don’t mean that there’s anything unorthodox. Rather the part that relates to vocations. Does anyone have this too? How do you not get discouraged? I feel like my relationship with God is a secret, something very special to me, but something that would worry and sadden those closest to me.

I don’t think we should share our spirituality much with others, even those who agree, as that is very personal and meant to be in the interior intimate part of the person, for God alone. The only place to really open up is in spiritual direction. But I’m beginning to see how people important to me might disagree with how I relate to God. I don’t mean about sharing truths of the faith. I believe in evangelism. I am talking about ones own relationship with Our Lord.

Any thoughts?
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I’m not sure I agree completely. Yes, our spiritual journeys are incredibly personal. And yes, there are people you shouldn’t share it with, and there are others who simply don’t care about your spirituality whatsoever. You don’t need to share with them , you don’t need to “cast your pearls before swine” so to speak, especially if their reaction might negatively impact your spiritual life.

That being said, we’re all different. What works for me in my spirituality may not work for you. What works for you may not work for me. But…what if what works for you will actually work better for me than what I’m currently doing in my spiritual life? Or lead me to a deeper appreciation and understanding of God? Sharing with others can be very enlightening, and with a healthy sense of openness and respect can lead to mutual growth on our journeys. Imagine how different Catholicism would be if St. Theresa of Avila or St. Ignatius of Loyola, St. Francis of Assisi, or St. Benedict didn’t share their spirituality with the world.

I’m not advocating spilling everything on the table at all, as that can certainly leave you vulnerable. But as long as there’s discernment with whom an what you share, there definately will never be a blanket “you shouldn’t share your spirituality” clause. That being said, yes, there are things that should remain only between you and a spiritual director.
 
Monica4316 said:
Thank you for the replies … I think for me its mostly that I’m making someone very close to me suffer because of where I’m going spiritually. I do have a spiritual director. If it clarifies anything I’m speaking of vocations. A celibate life and reasons for it can be misunderstood and seem kind of ‘crazy’ to people.
Click to expand...
I can definately understand this. And yes, this process can be extremely lonely and difficult. I kept my discernment to religious life very guarded and secret, and didn’t share it much at all with family or friends until after I had applied and was accepted.

The thing to remember is people will always raise objections and concerns about religious life. It is “crazy”, no doubt. It’s radically counter cultural, and to most outsiders an insane way to live our Christian life. Yet…it’s a vocation and calling. Most people are not called to it, which is why they don’t understand, and raise all sorts of objections and concerns. Our parents were not called to religious life (or else they wouldn’t have had kids) but most of their concerns are coming from love, making sure we’re doing the right thing.

I’m not entirely sure what issues you’re facing, but I know what issues I faced with with those close to me. I’d say just be cognizant of how they feel, try to address their concerns as best you can, but remember if you’re being called to religious life, that’s God calling YOU, not them. I don’t think I ever really used the term “calling” or anything like that with my closest friends and family. They wouldn’t understand that and it would probably make me sound wackier than necessary. I just explained how it’s something I really want to do, or “try”, and explained the formation process and how there’s plenty of time before committing my life permanently to the order, in order to figure out if it’s really for me. I also tend not to open up a lot about my prayer life and spirituality to my family, since I know they won’t understand that either. So I speak to them on terms they understand and can identify with, since most of my family fell away from Church years ago and is pretty secular now. All situations will be unique. I found it helpful to find people also discerning vocation retreats/ “come and see weekends” with communities I was looking into, and talking with them about their journeys.
 
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