Well, I don’t know if St. Paul said that, but we have to understand it in context, because if you know your history, you’ll know that the Church in the Middle Ages, tolerated prostitution because it was seen as a better and practical solution to premarital sex with one you would marry. So, if St. Paul said what you claim, and I don’t know that he actually did, I would need to know better what he
meant. Because I would disagree with the interpretation that marrying whatever your loins pine is better than just doing the deed and going home. In fact, in the hierarchy of goods, I would say that relieving oneself at a brothel is much better than marrying the easiest piece of butt around. Marrying someone out of a momentary, volatile, mindless appetite is sin.
Let’s face it, lust is a privation, a sin, a result of confusion, a weakness. Not only is marrying out of weakness incredibly stupid, it’s arguably not a legitimate marriage. Lust is always steeped in some delusion of the mind, and so a marriage conducted out of delusion is ripe material for annulment.
Now, beauty does not imply lust. If you know your Catholicism, you’ll know that the three Transcendental Goods are good, truth, and…BEAUTY. Obviously, how and what we value in a spouse will vary form person to person, but physical beauty, particularly for men, is a frequently important aspect, if you will. However, that beauty does not imply lust or some rabid desire for sex. That constitutes a certain dehumanization in your heart of that person. And to be frank, lust is fairy arbitrary about it’s victim. Think of it as lightening. It looks for the easiest target.
About celibacy, yes, it is the most perfect state of being, which should give you a starting point and a fairly high standard before considering marriage. Many people marry for the wrong reasons (lust, some delusional sense of need, fear of, among other things, being alone, infatuation, idolatry). All are sinful, and thus unacceptable. Jesus calls us towards excellence, not comfort. Marriage should only be done for perfective reasons, and I mean that in the broad pervasive sense. Settling is sin. Too many Catholics buy into a Sesame Street version of our Faith, and let me tell you, it’s thinning out the gene pool! Strive for the highest! And not only is it a slight against beauty, but about everything else (see S. Kanazawa). Contrary to the “pious” heretic Catholics among us, weakness is not worshiped by Catholics. Strength is good in all senses.
Now, something more immediate: dating. Dating, in my opinion, is a rather bankrupt artifact of our culture. Admittedly, dating means a lot of things to different people, but an unfortunately common interpretation today is that dating is sex. Ever hear of the 3 date rule? And unfortunately, it’s no longer “hey, let’s try it, maybe” which indicates a slip into sin, but worse, where it is CUSTOMARY, it is how things are frequently done and expected. This is the dangerous condition the Church speaks of. We not only sin, but we now pass sin off as virtuous! Getting lost in the forest with a map and a compass is one thing. But without the navigational equipment? You’re screwed! But again I digress…
Have you thought about not dating for a while? Obviously this is a decision you have to make yourself, but perhaps you are acquiescing to the pressure or expectation of “having to date” which crops up in our culture. You could use the opportunity to stand back and evaluate, feel out, honestly, why you’re dating (lust, feeling out potential spouses). The burden of making the right choice rests on you.
