Started Therapy

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Hi, I went to therapy Friday (1st session)

My therapist revealed alot about what is wrong & as much as I want to heal from my constant worry, Im afraid to dig deeper. What else will I find & will it hinder my healing…Has anyone else dealt with these question after starting therapy?

I knew I had OCD before I went to therapy, Ive had it since I was a child. Ive just learned coping skills to deal with it & somedays are eaiser than others. That explains why I worry about everything in excess! I have learned to see my OCD as a blessing instead of a curse & that has helped me tremendously!

We dug up some ugliness from my past that I didnt realize was even an issue? I hurt a lof of people, mostly myself & it explains why I am mildly depressed & havent attempted to lose weight. I am judging myself harshly & realized that I dont trust myself. I need constant reassurance…Anyway,

I know that I am a child of God & he has forgiven me of my sins- but I have not forgiven myself. No wonder my walk with God has been such a struggle for me.
 
kate(name removed by moderator):
Hi, I went to therapy Friday (1st session)

My therapist revealed alot about what is wrong & as much as I want to heal from my constant worry, Im afraid to dig deeper. What else will I find & will it hinder my healing…Has anyone else dealt with these question after starting therapy?

I knew I had OCD before I went to therapy, Ive had it since I was a child. Ive just learned coping skills to deal with it & somedays are eaiser than others. That explains why I worry about everything in excess! I have learned to see my OCD as a blessing instead of a curse & that has helped me tremendously!

We dug up some ugliness from my past that I didnt realize was even an issue? I hurt a lof of people, mostly myself & it explains why I am mildly depressed & havent attempted to lose weight. I am judging myself harshly & realized that I dont trust myself. I need constant reassurance…Anyway,

I know that I am a child of God & he has forgiven me of my sins- but I have not forgiven myself. No wonder my walk with God has been such a struggle for me.
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What is OCD exactly? it sounds like something i might have? I worry about every little Thing, and since i became a believing Catholic, it has become most apparent in dealing with sins.Im always worring about sins that i haven’t even commited or have been forgiven. Im seriously paranoid 🙂 But it keeps me on my Toes! 😃 .
 
Kate(name removed by moderator) - it’s normal to be fearful of discovery, especially in a therapy situation (as this often means admiting to oneself AND another person, which then pushes us to change). I remember several times in my short life, both in and out of therapy, that I was afraid to dig any deeper (one of which was as I was considering entering the Catholic Church . . . glad I pushed past that fear). As to what you find “hindering” your healing, it won’t. It may make it slower than you would like, but not finding it would do more harm, as it would just stay there, waiting to come up some other time. It sounds like you have been blessed to find a therapist who is somewhere close to the page you are on spiritually (a huge plus . . . there are therapists out there who draw believers away from God). If this is your first experience with therapy (as I assume from your post), I caution you to carefully look at what your therapist says. They are amazingly helpful and I have never had trouble with one, but many of us who seek therapy are easily sucked into believing that these individuals know more about us that we do (and sometimes even that they know more than God). They are meerly using some good reflection techniques to help you see yourself better. YOU are doing the work. (BTW, I think therapy is a wonderful thing, I just want to make sure you have the necessary caution.)

freesoul- OCD stands for Obsessive Compulsive Disorder. Here is a link to the DSM-IV criteria. Like all psychological conditions, the symptoms described must interfere significantly in your life for it to be considered a disorder. anxiety.psy.ohio-state.edu/ocd1.htm
 
Thank you both for your post! I am excited to start healing. It will be nice to be an active part in my healing instead of sitting on the side lines of life waiting for something external to change. Now I realize that I need to change!

nova147 - Thank you for your uplifting words. One of the problems with OCD is the more you reveal about your inner troubles, the more you worry! I know my therapist will keep me on track, but its just something Ive been thinking about. I just dont want to look for problems that dont exist, because a person with OCD can worry about things that arent even that important. Its like your brain gets stuck on something & there is no stopping it!

Freesoulhope - I hope you will check out the link nova147 posted. I read somewhere that OCD is the doubters disease. This is so true! OCD comes in many forms. Mine has showed up in several different forms throughout my life. Currently I am in worry mode & dont have any compulsions. I guess I am having obsessions about things out of my control. I tend to make small problems bigger than they are & see my mistakes/sins as unforgivable. Its a tough thing to have - but God wired me this way, so I know there is a purpose for it : )

There is another disorder called GAD (Generalized anxiety disorder) some of the symptoms are similiar to the worrying aspect /symptoms of OCD. Of course there are online tests you can take to confirm or rule out certain symptoms & you can always ask your doc?:blessyou:
 
I forgot to mention . . . you will be in my prayers. Depression and anxiety disorders are extremely taxing, both mentally and spiritually. I pray that you find strength to overcome your worries. (And try not to worry about worrying. 😃 )

MJ
 
I have to make a testimony. I have suffered from Bipolar Mood Disorder since 1998 because of the loss of my mother and also marraige problems and over the years I was getting treatment from my Psychiatrist and also on medication for all those years. I would be on antidepressants for years and months on end exhausting my medical aid and having to pay cash. And still not getting any better.

During all these years and all the treatment still I was not getting any better. Last year due to marriage problems I took an overdose and a few months later I had a break down. I was miserable, unhappy etc, etc. I even did a treatment called elctro convulsive disorder it is electronic waves that is sent to the brain. That did help for a while. But what I found out is that first of all the marriage was part of the problem, but most of all I found God and he has healed me. Forgiveness was holding me back from getting forward, anger over the loss of my mother in 1998, that I stayed in a physical and abusive relationship because I thought that it was what was expected.

Please I am not saying that therapy does not work it does but also the power of prayer and having faith and belief in God that he will heal you and guide you in the right direction. Nothing just happens in life things happen for a reason. You have alot to deal with but look inside yourself and find out what is the root of the problems that you have had.

Take this for example I have always had a issue with weight I always felt that I was not good enough and partly why my husband left me for a 19 year old. But the problem was not with me he had issues and the weight was just part of his issues. Because when he met me I was like this so why after 12 years of marriage I was all of a sudden not good enough for him. But somebody said to me do you look in the mirror at yourself what do you see. There is nothing wrong with you stop look at yourself but look at the bigger picture.

Pray all the time speak to God telling how you are feeling read your bible I am telling you that you are going to be fine just have faith and believe in yourself.
 
FONT=“Georgia”]I forgot to add that since Feb 06 to date I have not taken a single antidepressant and not been back to see the psychiatrist. There is not need because I am healed. I have put my life in God’s and I have faith in him and that he has healed me. There are no more mood swings, depression, anxiety, crying, miserable or even unhappiness. When I wake up in the morning I am good when I go to bed at night I am good. I just worship God and praise him and thank him for all he has done for me.
 
kate(name removed by moderator) said:
Hi, I went to therapy Friday (1st session)

My therapist revealed alot about what is wrong & as much as I want to heal from my constant worry, Im afraid to dig deeper. What else will I find & will it hinder my healing…Has anyone else dealt with these question after starting therapy?
.
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what will hinder your healing is not going deeper, identifying and dealing with issues you have. what will hinder your healing most of all is fear. yes, I terminated therapy once because of what I later realized were panic attacks, how stupid. took me years to regain what progress I had made and to move on. sounds like your reactions are perfectly normal. Like anything else that is good and necessary for you, but painful, you simply place your trust in God and keep it up.
 
OK, now that you have gotten some good advice, can I lighten the mood with a funny story? BTW it is a true story.

When my ex left me and the kids, I decided that family counselling would be a good idea since the boys were mad all the time. Anyway, for the first visit the therapist asked me to come in alone so she could get my impression of how each of the kids were handling the separation. So while I was there, we talked about each kid, my relationships with them, coping skills, etc…the typical stuff. Anyway, when I left her office I did what I expect just about everyone does after such a meeting…I rehashed it in my head, over and over, contemplating if I said just the right thing. Of course I am driving as I am doing this, and at an intersection I went through a yellow light without paying a whole lot of attention to the light. Just as I did this, a man stepped off the curb to cross the street that i was turning on to. Well obviously he wasn’t paying too much attention either and I almost hit him with my car. Jerking to attention much the way you do when you start dozing and wake suddenly, I was instantly alert and looked in my rearview mirror to see if he was alright. As I looked back I realized that the man I almost hit was my soon to be ex! Suddenly I burst into laughter as I thought of how I would tell the police, “I swear officer I didn’t know it was my ex when I ran him over.” Or “No, really I didn’t recognize him until just now officer.” Then what would i say to the kids? “Hey kids, I have some good news and some bad news, first the good news, you don’t have to go visit your dad anymore. The bad news is that you will have to visit your mom in the penitentiary” The more i thought about what I would say, the more i laughed. I so needed that laughter!!! It was just the stress relief I had needed for literally years!
 
BlestOne said:
OK, now that you have gotten some good advice, can I lighten the mood with a funny story? BTW it is a true story.

When my ex left me and the kids, I decided that family counselling would be a good idea since the boys were mad all the time. Anyway, for the first visit the therapist asked me to come in alone so she could get my impression of how each of the kids were handling the separation. So while I was there, we talked about each kid, my relationships with them, coping skills, etc…the typical stuff. Anyway, when I left her office I did what I expect just about everyone does after such a meeting…I rehashed it in my head, over and over, contemplating if I said just the right thing. Of course I am driving as I am doing this, and at an intersection I went through a yellow light without paying a whole lot of attention to the light. Just as I did this, a man stepped off the curb to cross the street that i was turning on to. Well obviously he wasn’t paying too much attention either and I almost hit him with my car. Jerking to attention much the way you do when you start dozing and wake suddenly, I was instantly alert and looked in my rearview mirror to see if he was alright. As I looked back I realized that the man I almost hit was my soon to be ex! Suddenly I burst into laughter as I thought of how I would tell the police, “I swear officer I didn’t know it was my ex when I ran him over.” Or “No, really I didn’t recognize him until just now officer.” Then what would i say to the kids? “Hey kids, I have some good news and some bad news, first the good news, you don’t have to go visit your dad anymore. The bad news is that you will have to visit your mom in the penitentiary” The more i thought about what I would say, the more i laughed. I so needed that laughter!!! It was just the stress relief I had needed for literally years!
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Blest One,
LOL!! Ok, so I’m glad you didn’t run your ex over with your car… but if you had (accidentally) perhaps it would’ve been a bit of divine justice? 😉

(ONLY KIDDING!)

(sort of !)
 
carol_marie said:
Blest One,
LOL!! Ok, so I’m glad you didn’t run your ex over with your car… but if you had (accidentally) perhaps it would’ve been a bit of divine justice? 😉

(ONLY KIDDING!)

(sort of !)
Click to expand...
You know the divine justice was that I got the first good laugh in years at his expense. Life with him was very tense for many years before he left. This was the start of the healing process and I will always be thankful for that…but I really contemplated how it would solve many problems for the kids and I if I had hit him!!!
 
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