Starting to crack up

[dulcissima]

That was awesome. I could have written much of that (up until being a stay-at-home-dad, which I can’t be, not yet.)

The tidal wave at work seems to have washed over me, and I’m still standing, albeit wet, shaken and full of crabs. (Wait–bad analogy–make it “covered in starfish.”) However, I’m facing a bit of a dilemma right now. It’s a good one to have, don’t get me wrong. I might be blessed with opportunity.

Er, let me explain…

That headhunter who called me yesterday directed me to the website of the company looking for people. It’s a PR firm, and it’s conservative, but they unashamedly advertise their unique ability to get messages across by redefining the debate. You know, making things like “estate tax” say “death tax.” Now, I’m all for using words effectively to make a point, but I have a well-developed pet peeve about twisting words to make a point. Ideas have consequences, and words have meanings. (It drives me up a wall when Protestants say “NOT BY faith alone means BY FAITH ALONE.”

Anyway, I was going to turn the recruiter down, but then the devil took the phone from him, (“Pardon me, Roger, I think I can handle this…”) and poured honey into my ear.

“I told XYZ Company about your background,” Lucifer said. “When they found out you worked for The Vast Right-Wing Conspiracy Times], [the PR department of the Ridiculously Ineffective Government Agency], and [The Stealing Candy From Babies Foundation], they wet themselves. Now they’re thinking about putting you in some type of managerial or directorship position, if you check out okay.”

Now, before they knew more about my resume, they were offering any candidate roughly $15,000 more than I make now. That would basically be a God-send. But now that they’re talking about giving me more, potentially, the blood in my veins has turned to slushy ice. If the last few years have taught me anything, it’s that my writing skills peaked somewhere around my sophomore year in college, at least as far as corporate or ideological America goes. These people want me to MANAGE other writers and researchers? Hah! I’m the kind of guy who sometimes forgets where he put his glasses–AND I DON’T WEAR GLASSES!

I know, I know–poor little yuppie. Please try to understand that until today I was giving serious thought (I’m not kidding here…) to going back to house painting where, while the work is still back-breaking, at least nobody rips the paint off the house, critiques it, wallpapers the exterior, and then asks you why it looks like a Dartmouth frat house floor after mid-terms. (I have it on good authority it’s not pretty).

So, go work temporarily for the devil, if he offers the job? Or continue with the equivalent of white water kayaking UPriver?

Decisions…decisions…

Stranger things have happened. My now ex-husband had his salary doubled when we were expecting our second child, at a time that we were facing the dilemma of not being able to afford day care for two kids. All we had to do was move to Maryland. I guess you have the same opportunity. All you have to do is combine words in a way that is pleasing to conservatives, and maybe oversee a few people. Not too terrible. In fact, something tells me you could have a lot of fun with that.

 

[montanaman]

MontanaMan you ought to be writing scathing articles on the condition of modern life for some reputable newspaper or other media not peddling snake oil. Have you considered sending in your writing to various media (probably “conservative” ones)? You could be another Hilaire Belloc or G. K. Chesterton or Mark Twain if you gave yourself half the chance. I’m serious.

Duuuuude. Thanks. I appreciate that. But for every hack like me there are a hundred more motivated hacks who actually, you know, write, finish, edit and submit their stuff. And I’m ridiculously insulated from the world. I write best when I write about the foibles of my own life. That kind of self-absorbtion drives everyone to contemplate hari kari–this guy included.

Besides, I already have a blog (link below) which, as you may see, pushes the envelope of lame. I don’t kow what it is about blogging, but nothing brings on writer’s block quite like that.

Anyway, thank you for the kind compliments. If I ever publish something halfway decent, you better believe this is the first place I’ll go to tell the world.

 

[jmcrae]

So, go work temporarily for the devil, if he offers the job?

Go for it.

 

[montanaman]

Stranger things have happened. My now ex-husband had his salary doubled when we were expecting our second child, at a time that we were facing the dilemma of not being able to afford day care for two kids. All we had to do was move to Maryland. I guess you have the same opportunity. All you have to do is combine words in a way that is pleasing to conservatives, and maybe oversee a few people. Not too terrible. In fact, something tells me you could have a lot of fun with that.

God works in funny ways. Why is that? A perfect sense of humor?

I guess that’s the real test of faith. Relatively speaking, it’s easy to say that you A. believe in God, B., believe his Son (huh? a child?) came down, died for us, and C., rose from the dead. (And D., gave us author James Lee Burke). But trusting him to shepherd you through the hard times? Now THAT’S faith. After all, did all of those homeless, crippled, deranged and liberal people do something “wrong” to deserve their fates? Why should I expect God to take care of me and the sparrows when there are so many perfectly faithful people wondering if they’ll be able to afford a bag of cat food–for themselves?

It’s a mystery, I guess. That’s why it takes a brawny, muscular faith to relax, let go and let God.

 

[aurora77]

It sounds like God’s providing you relief from your financial difficulties. I’d take the job. It’s not forever–save as much money as you can from your salary increase so if you hate it, you’ve got some security.

Your last post is brilliant–it does take a brawny faith to truly trust God. Faithfulness isn’t for the faint hearted. Maybe you’ve never had a chance to test your faith, now you do. Sieze it and grow!!