Still Confused and Needing Help

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SavedByFaith

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I have been notably absent for some time due to the fact that I became convinced that perhaps I was on the wrong track considering conversion to Catholicism. I am still somewhat confused by all of the divisions that I see but I do still feel that the Catholic Church is much more united than any Protestant group (to which I have belonged for 41 years and counting).

My question basically boils down to this: Is it fair to judge whether we may or may not be on the right path (in God’s will) based upon answers to prayers and needs being met OR is this an absolute blasphemy on my part?

If you search for posts under my name you will have no problem ascertaining how confused I am and I apologize for putting everyone through this process. I came to this site in Jan 2005. I actively participated here and prayed the rosary daily during the months of Jan and Feb 2005. My financial situation did not get better at all in fact it grew worse. However, in my business (insurance) income lags work by about 2 months. If I look at my earnings during March and April of 2005 they FAR superseded those of earlier months. I could actually live on what I made in those months.

I basically stopped coming here at the end of Feb 2005. In May and thus far in June I am back to making almost nothing. It is very easy to see from this lunacy of mine how far I go trying to ascertain the truth and to heed God’s guiding hand. I am concerned that I am trying to hard to read into events in my life, but I desparately do want the truth and I DO want to be pleasing to God and to be within His will for me.

Can anyone give me some guidance on whether it is right or wrong to judge the rightness of our walk with God by events in our lives?

I know that people suffer sometimes without a good explanation but I have been through the wringer now for well over 4 years and really need to know if it is because I am not listening to God concerning where He wants me to be (conversion to Catholicism) or just that I am a loser and will always have a tough time no matter what I do.
 
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SavedByFaith:
…My question basically boils down to this: Is it fair to judge whether we may or may not be on the right path (in God’s will) based upon answers to prayers and needs being met OR is this an absolute blasphemy on my part?..

…I know that people suffer sometimes without a good explanation but I have been through the wringer now for well over 4 years and really need to know if it is because I am not listening to God concerning where He wants me to be (conversion to Catholicism) or just that I am a loser and will always have a tough time no matter what I do.
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Be careful of thinking that God will give answers and meet needs in a way that you like.

Remember that suffering, when offered up in union with Christ’s own, serves to draw us closer to God. It exercises us in strengthening our will and our growth in sanctification. It is a vehicle by which the grace of God is made manifest in our lives.

I don’t think you’re a loser. I do believe that the grace of God is more than suficient to see our difficulties as a worthwhile burden and a cause for joy.

When I don’t understand, I always return to the promise of Jesus that his Church will always teach the truth, every day and forever. I can rely on this.

You may want to pick up a copy of the Apostolic letter “On the Christian meaning of human suffering”, by Pope John Paul II.
 
Hi Saved,

You are not a loser…but we will all have a tough time of it, some more than others.

I am a recent convert ( 2nd year as a confirmed catholic) but was raised by protestant missionary parents.

You ask hard questions indeed. I’m sure you will have some more folks add much more articulate replies than mine will be.

First, let me give you a verse that I have hanging on my wall. When I’m not sure what to do, what choice to make, or if I am “on the right path” I remember this verse. Jeremiah 29:11 “For I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord, plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.”

There in lies your question I think, how do I know I am acting in God’s plan for me. What is God’s plan for me? As I am contemplating retirement I ask the same questions. I am so in love with my faith, I and so very thankful to God for the gift He has given me, to be able to go to Mass, to Honor Him and to be fed by HIM continues to bring tears of joy to my eyes. My friend, this is going to sound corny I think, but close your eyes, open your heart, reach out your hand as ask for HIS guidance. Walk out in the middle of a field and do it if you want to. Just you and HIM. Pray with Faith EXPECTING His answer, for He will answer; He promised He would. You know that. Then open your eyes and keep your heart and mind open. He will answer you. Then come back and keep us posted.

There are so many converts here, and many many more folks who are much better educated and experience than I, but we all will keep you in our prayers. You are not alone my friend.

sgt. pat
 
I do not think that we can interpret the events of our lives as whether or not we are on the right religious track, but perhaps we can use the way our faith helps us meet the events in our lives to decide if our faith is valid.

A religion/faith cannot and will not protect us from the pains of life, but a good one will equip us to meet life head on, with hope, dignity and honor.

by their fruits you will know them…

Anyway, that is how I evaluate my spiritual path. Truth is truth is truth, no matter what is going on all around me.

cheddar
 
I don’t know that you can give God an ultimatum, such as “if you fix this for me, then I will believe in you” or the reverse of that “since you didn’t fix that for me, maybe I shouldn’t believe in you”

God does things according to His plan, His timing, His reasoning. During the lowest times in my life I prayed for trust, for subission to his will, for grace, for strength to deal with whatever was going on, knowing that there was a purpose to it.

Many times I prayed, “I have no idea what you are doing here, God, I’m just going along for the ride.”

Trust in the Lord with all your heart, on your own intelligence rely not; In all your ways be mindful of him, and he will make straight your path. proverbs 3:5

We know that all things work for good for those who love God, who are called according to His purpose Romans 8:28

God may not be answering your prayers or meeting your needs as you feel they should be answered or met, but trust that He is working in your life. Who and where I am today is the result of what I had to go through to get here. If God had answered my prayers of taking “the cup” from me, my life would probably have taken different turns.

There is a Garth Brooks song that says, “Some of God’s greatest gifts are unanswered prayers”

Do what you know to be the right thing, it will never fail you. Step out in faith, knowing that God loves you without measure. He wants you to choose Him.

Good luck
Arlene
 
I sympathize with your post, I know what it’s like to feel as though prayers are going painfully unanswered. But here’s the beautiful thing: God has a plan for each of us. We don’t know what it is, and in the moment, it sometimes seems like a crazy, rotten plan. Don’t judge God by what happens day to day in your life, or even over the course of a year. God wants to do good work through us, and we need to try our best to let Him do it. Submit to God’s will in your life, and you will see His blessings every day.

“To you, O Lord, a thousand years are like a day.” - 2 Peter 3:8

Isn’t it interesting that you’re on this message board, trying to find the truth? That you spent 6 months in prayer to God? That even though you walked away from it, something has drawn you back? If at the end of all this, you are closer to God than ever before in your life, then that alone is well worth the pain that you are suffering. Unite your suffering with Christ’s suffering on the cross.

Read Romans 8:31-- “If God is for us, who can be against us?” It’s my favorite verse in the bible, I put it in my signature. It means that anything that life throws at you pales in comparison to the love and strength of God in us.

I might sound trite to you, saying these things, but it’s all true. Remember in the Lord’s prayer, “thy will be done”.

I think the Rolling Stones said it pretty good, too: “you can’t always get what you want, but if you try sometimes, you just might find, you get what you need!” Someday, you will look back and see why you needed it.

Don’t give up, keep praying. Ask God for the wisdom to see His will for you, and the strength in faith to follow.

God bless.

Pete
 
Thanks all, keep em coming, this helps me. I am not saying that I reject God because I suffer - what I am supposing is that perhaps I gained some relief from my amazingly long loserish spell when I was exploring the Catholic faith - as if maybe I was on the right track. When I left here, everything began to spiral downhill again. That is crazy I know. I know I am not supposed to interpret things like this - just read the book of Job.

How about this - If I set aside time each day to faithfully pray the rosary (like before) and perhaps the stations of the cross (2-3 stations per day) for say 4 weeks. Would it be safe to assume that God is pleased with that if I gain insight into my suffering and can appreciate it more - even if it does not go away? If I can just bear it day by day after that timeframe is passed.

But what if after a period of time nothing changes at all? Understand that I am a lifelong Baptist, so I have some inner conflict with this whole thing about being drawn towards the Catholic church (no offense - just being honest so bear with me and don’t flame me).

This is exactly how I got into this confusion mess to start with. Studying Catholicism and then Protestant doctrine (Calvinism, Arminianism blah, blah, blah). Now I just feel like a total reject, don’t know where to go, what to believe, rejected, isolated, anxious - shall I continue?

Basically, I just want so badly to know God’s will for me and where to go from here - but I don’t - I never do.
 
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SavedByFaith:
Thanks all, keep em coming, this helps me. I am not saying that I reject God because I suffer - what I am supposing is that perhaps I gained some relief from my amazingly long loserish spell when I was exploring the Catholic faith - as if maybe I was on the right track. When I left here, everything began to spiral downhill again. That is crazy I know. I know I am not supposed to interpret things like this - just read the book of Job.

How about this - If I set aside time each day to faithfully pray the rosary (like before) and perhaps the stations of the cross (2-3 stations per day) for say 4 weeks. Would it be safe to assume that God is pleased with that if I gain insight into my suffering and can appreciate it more - even if it does not go away? If I can just bear it day by day after that timeframe is passed.

But what if after a period of time nothing changes at all? Understand that I am a lifelong Baptist, so I have some inner conflict with this whole thing about being drawn towards the Catholic church (no offense - just being honest so bear with me and don’t flame me).

This is exactly how I got into this confusion mess to start with. Studying Catholicism and then Protestant doctrine (Calvinism, Arminianism blah, blah, blah). Now I just feel like a total reject, don’t know where to go, what to believe, rejected, isolated, anxious - shall I continue?

Basically, I just want so badly to know God’s will for me and where to go from here - but I don’t - I never do.
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Don’t think of religion as a ticket to earthly success. That isn’t what God gives us through the Church. Your definition of success on earth may change as a part of your religion, in which case success on earth will become a byproduct of your religious practice. But know this: a devotion to God, and following Christ, is really about eternal life. This life is just a blip on the radar.

Right now, you are centered on yourself. That’s ok, because most of us are. But try to let go of that. Put into perspective your job and your financial situation, and all of the measures that most Americans use to define success. These things are meaningless to God. Some of the greatest saints were poor. Have you read anything about St. Francis? He was a rich man who left it all to follow Christ. He’s one of the greatest, best loved saints who was called by God to rebuild the Church. Now he’s in heaven.

You are not a loser, because God loves you unconditionally and wants to do His work through you. That sounds like winning to me.

Pete
 
So I guess your basic question is, “How do I know that God wants me to convert to the Catholic Church, and how do I know I’m doing His will by pursuing this?”

Being a cradle Catholic, I haven’t walked in those shoes, but I can ask you this…

Do the teachings of the Catholic Church fill a void in your soul?

In the stillness of your heart, do you know that you have found the Truth here?

Do you sit in a Catholic church and just KNOW?

Do you want more than anything to have the awesom gift of recieving Jesus’ s Own Body and Blood? Does your soul long for that oneness with Christ?

That, my friend, is the voice of God. That is the voice to follow.

I wish you peace of heart,
Arlene
 
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Arlene:
In the stillness of your heart, do you know that you have found the Truth here?
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I can not honesty answer that question, I don’t have much stillness in my heart anymore. I pray for guidance, I pray for light, and sometimes I just pray and cry out for help. I would not know that my situation was bad had it not been that I have exerienced the opposite as well, things being very good for much of my life.

I don’t expect religion to give me earthly success. I have begged God to just go ahead and strip me of everything, leave me homeless if He wills it, but just show me where to go and what to do. And still, I hover on the edge of absolute brokeness and still have no direction or light.
 
I just finished reading the book “He Leadeth Me” by Fr. Ciszek, a Jesuit priest who was taken prisoner in Russia during the war, and kept there for 20-something years. It was awesome! It is all about him finding God’s will in his life - in solitary confinement, in the labor camps, etc.

It may be very helpful for you right now.
 
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nobody:
I just finished reading the book “He Leadeth Me” by Fr. Ciszek, a Jesuit priest who was taken prisoner in Russia during the war, and kept there for 20-something years. It was awesome! It is all about him finding God’s will in his life - in solitary confinement, in the labor camps, etc.

It may be very helpful for you right now.
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Is it readily available or do you know where I might obtain a copy?
 
Hi Saved,

I am a convert – for more years than I care to mention. I believe that for me, the issues that slowed me down in becoming Catholic were not having an appreciation for all the knowledge and wisdom of this Faith. I also struggled way too long with Mary – I am glad that you were praying the Rosary. She will bring you closer to her son – how she will do that, no one can say.

Those two things were hard for me, but the thing that really sealed the deal, so to speak, is that Jesus, Savior of the World, is really and truly present in the Holy Eucharist. Spend time often in front of a tabernacle or the exposed Eucharistic host. The grace that comes from this prayer/devotion is absolutely awesome. Pray a Rosary in the presence of the Real Presence and you will find your faith life soaring.

I will pray for you.
 
Thank you, Mamamull, I’m ashamed that I didn’t speak of adoration.

SavedByFaith, I can’t agree with this more. Spend as much time as you can in the presence of our Lord in the Eucharist, even if it’s only for a few minutes. Words are unable to describe the riches of grace that you’ll find there.
 
It is only natural to call upon the Lord when we are going through a tough economic situation, and there is certainly nothing wrong with this practice. In fact, it is a good thing. The problem you are having is the association of your financial situation with discernment in your Christian faith. The two are not connected in the way that you perceive them to be.

Seek the truth first and love God with all of your being regardless of your financial situation. Read the book of Job, and you will see what happened to someone close to God. Our suffering can be of spiritual benefit. Paul says, “Now I rejoice in my sufferings for your sake, and in my flesh I complete what is lacking in Christ’s afflictions for the sake of his body, that is, the church”[Col 1:24]

You are going through trial and difficulty and this can test what faith you have. You would be going through this trial regardless of whether or not you are Catholic, Baptist, Evangelical, or whatever. I would suggest pursuing your discernment of faith and solving your current financial issues in a more parallel fashion. In both cases, let the Lord take control, but don’t let the financial crisis serve as a signal concerning what direction to take in discerning your conversion.

I cannot help you directly, but I will certainly pray for you. You may need a career change or you may need to move to an area where your services will be in higher demand. You have a struggle ahead of you but things will eventually get better. Never lose hope and put all of your trust in the Lord. He will show you the way.
 
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Pax:
The problem you are having is the association of your financial situation with discernment in your Christian faith. The two are not connected in the way that you perceive them to be.
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Yes, this is EXACTLY what I am doing. How does one free themselves of such silly things. It is indeed a hard thing to understand why I do these things and even harder to stop!
 
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