Strange Orthodox Catholics - how to cope with

[IwishIknew]

I and my family are serious about our faith - striving hard to be open to life, obeying the ten commandments, obeying the precepts of the Church and most importantly we strive to Love God in the midst of this “godless” world. We also wear some sacramentals (not ostentatiously). Outside of all this, we strive to act and be normal - we wear normal clothes, we do normal activities, we work normal jobs and drive normal cars and speak about normal things. Because of our family size, we do attract attention at Church (we take up a whole pew).

Along these lines, at Church - we attract several “orthodox” Catholics who do NOT act normal. They say strange exuberant religious things to us, wear strange clothing from different decades, they wear bundles of sacramentals on the outside of their clothing, they invite us continuously to their social gatherings which just feel strange.

We know we should be kind to them, but I just can’t wrap my head around why they seem so strange - especially in what they say and how they say it. I can’t even really offer any good quotes other than this small example when my son and I were going to confession and one approached us saying, “Isn’t this a great day to go to Confession?!”.

I’m just wondering does anyone else experience this from a similar perspective to the above? If so, how do you deal with it?

 

[EasterJoy]

Being pious and having totally different sets of social expectations are not mutually exclusive things. The two things have no necessary connection at all. Besides, there are about a billion baptized Catholics in the world. You’re going to meet all kinds.

Try to separate what you recognize as the praiseworthy piety of these fellow parishioners from the fact that they do not happen to be a good social fit for you. If these were pious but grumpy Catholics, you’d probably respond by being cheerful and yet reserving the right not to include them with a trusted position in your immediate social circle. Social interactions with them might be done out of charity and a certain affection that you develop in spite of their eccentricities or faults, but not out of some feeling that you ought to be best friends with everyone, regardless of how pious they are or aren’t.

It isn’t common to greet someone with “isn’t this a great day to go to confession?”–it is kind of like saying “isn’t this a great day for all of us to go and apologize to our families for failing them, because they’re always so gracious about it?”–and yet the sentiment isn’t so bad. You can respond with “it is sort of like giving thanks that I live in a town with a great trauma system after falling off my garage for the fourth month in a row, but yes, it is a great day to go to confession,” or you can say, “that’s a good way to look at it” or whatever you want to say, as long as its charitable. It is meant well, I am sure, but you shouldn’t feel any need to encourage it if it is not actually edifying.

 

[Sunbreak]

I and my family are serious about our faith - striving hard to be open to life, obeying the ten commandments, obeying the precepts of the Church and most importantly we strive to Love God in the midst of this “godless” world. We also wear some sacramentals (not ostentatiously). Outside of all this, we strive to act and be normal - we wear normal clothes, we do normal activities, we work normal jobs and drive normal cars and speak about normal things. Because of our family size, we do attract attention at Church (we take up a whole pew).

Along these lines, at Church - we attract several “orthodox” Catholics who do NOT act normal. They say strange exuberant religious things to us, wear strange clothing from different decades, they wear bundles of sacramentals on the outside of their clothing, they invite us continuously to their social gatherings which just feel strange.

We know we should be kind to them, but I just can’t wrap my head around why they seem so strange - especially in what they say and how they say it. I can’t even really offer any good quotes other than this small example when my son and I were going to confession and one approached us saying, “Isn’t this a great day to go to Confession?!”.

I’m just wondering does anyone else experience this from a similar perspective to the above? If so, how do you deal with it?

 

[Casilda]

Hebrews 13:1-2
Let brotherly love continue. 2 Do not neglect to show hospitality to strangers, for thereby some have entertained angels unawares.

If in the face of others we do not see the eyes of Jesus looking back at us, what are we?

 

[JimmyG88]

I think each parish has its ‘individuals’ some people I have met have an attachment to religious articles boardering on the a mania. They may well be living with a condition

 

[LSK]

What kind of social gatherings?

I once felt awkward around the ‘uber pious’ myself. I really was afraid I would not fit in and so avoided them.

One time, out of curiosity, I accepted an invitation - and had a great time. I went for about an hour and it was great. I left feeling as though I had crossed some sort of barrier I myself had erected around my heart.

 

[IwishIknew]

Being pious and having totally different sets of social expectations are not mutually exclusive things. The two things have no necessary connection at all. Besides, there are about a billion baptized Catholics in the world. You’re going to meet all kinds.

Try to separate what you recognize as the praiseworthy piety of these fellow parishioners from the fact that they do not happen to be a good social fit for you. If these were pious but grumpy Catholics, you’d probably respond by being cheerful and yet reserving the right not to include them with a trusted position in your immediate social circle. Social interactions with them might be done out of charity and a certain affection that you develop in spite of their eccentricities or faults, but not out of some feeling that you ought to be best friends with everyone, regardless of how pious they are or aren’t.

It isn’t common to greet someone with “isn’t this a great day to go to confession?”–it is kind of like saying “isn’t this a great day for all of us to go and apologize to our families for failing them, because they’re always so gracious about it?”–and yet the sentiment isn’t so bad. You can respond with “it is sort of lIike giving thanks that I live in a town with a great trauma system after falling off my garage for the fourth month in a row, but yes, it is a great day to go to confession,” or you can say, “that’s a good way to look at it” or whatever you want to say, as long as its charitable. It is meant well, I am sure, but you shouldn’t feel any need to encourage it if it is not actually edifying.

Thank you for this thought-through reply! And thanks to all for your insights. In light of your replies, I think I was getting tripped up over their expressions of Christian exuberance which manifests itself in a variety of ways that are outside of my version of current cultural norms. To be fair, I see no harm in their outward expressions. The expressions are different than say Pharisaical religious signs of dominance/power/prestige. They just confuse me when they try to engage with us in conversation. I really like the image of the trusted social circle mentioned above. I can still be charitable in relating to them, but I don’t have to “understand” them and I don’t have to let them into my personal circles of trust/engagement.

Thanks again.

 

[guanophore]

I can still be charitable in relating to them, but I don’t have to “understand” them and I don’t have to let them into my personal circles of trust/engagement.

Thanks again.

How do you know that they are not the answer to your prayers? What if God sent them to show you how to find the “phone line” you want? Perhaps God is asking you to come out of your comfort zone?

Is it not relevant that they seem happy and peaceful with their faith?

 

[SilverLight]

I and my family are serious about our faith - striving hard to be open to life, obeying the ten commandments, obeying the precepts of the Church and most importantly we strive to Love God in the midst of this “godless” world. We also wear some sacramentals (not ostentatiously). Outside of all this, we strive to act and be normal - we wear normal clothes, we do normal activities, we work normal jobs and drive normal cars and speak about normal things. Because of our family size, we do attract attention at Church (we take up a whole pew).

Along these lines, at Church - we attract several “orthodox” Catholics who do NOT act normal. They say strange exuberant religious things to us, wear strange clothing from different decades, they wear bundles of sacramentals on the outside of their clothing, they invite us continuously to their social gatherings which just feel strange.

We know we should be kind to them, but I just can’t wrap my head around why they seem so strange - especially in what they say and how they say it. I can’t even really offer any good quotes other than this small example when my son and I were going to confession and one approached us saying, “Isn’t this a great day to go to Confession?!”.

I’m just wondering does anyone else experience this from a similar perspective to the above? If so, how do you deal with it?

My family is not as devoted as you but we are happy. However I did have a run in with one woman while at church once. It left me feeling strange and a little scared.

 

[guanophore]

Along these lines, at Church - we attract several “orthodox” Catholics who do NOT act normal. They say strange exuberant religious things to us, wear strange clothing from different decades, they wear bundles of sacramentals on the outside of their clothing, they invite us continuously to their social gatherings which just feel strange.

Have you considered that this was normal for thatt generation?

can’t wrap my head around why they seem so strange - especially in what they say and how they say it. I can’t even really offer any good quotes other than this small example when my son and I were going to confession and one approached us saying, “Isn’t this a great day to go to Confession?!”.

I’m just wondering does anyone else experience this from a similar perspective to the above? If so, how do you deal with it?

What is so strange about saying that?

 

[JimmyG88]

Have you considered that this was normal for thatt generation?

What is so strange about saying that?

I find it quite odd behaviour. Traditionally Catholics don’t go around saying things like that. It’s part of life. I don’t go around commenting on what a great day it is to have normal liver function. It’s seriously strange

 

[Kelfa28]

If you find them strange and would rather not be social…then don’t.

I don’t know…it seems simple enough to me.

Be charitable when you see them at Church. Smile at their comments, unless they say something disrespectful, and move on.

You don’t have to hang out with them. You don’t have to accept invites.

My husband and I have met a lot of people since we’ve started attending Church on a regular basis and have embedded ourselves into the community.

I don’t see eye to eye with some of them and know it wouldn’t be a good match for our families to engage in anything more then being social and polite when we run into them…either at Church or at other events.

I don’t think we should be expected to be social and open with everyone that we meet. I know my husband and I are pretty introverted and aren’t into heavy socialization anyway.

We’ve met two families from Church we’ve grown close with and that is about it.

 

[guanophore]

I find it quite odd behaviour. Traditionally Catholics don’t go around saying things like that. It’s part of life. I don’t go around commenting on what a great day it is to have normal liver function. It’s seriously strange

I must be missing something. There is a vast difference between having good liver function and going to confession.

I guess what I am hung up on is that my spiritual director used to say things like that all the time. Every day is a great day to engage in the Sacraments, especially confession, which restores us to eternal life.

Maybe I am one of THEM! :bigyikes:

Who determines what is “normal?”

 

[JimmyG88]

I must be missing something. There is a vast difference between having good liver function and going to confession.

I guess what I am hung up on is that my spiritual director used to say things like that all the time. Every day is a great day to engage in the Sacraments, especially confession, which restores us to eternal life.

Maybe I am one of THEM! :bigyikes:

Who determines what is “normal?”

I had a very traditional Cathoilc upbringing I was taught by nuns then priests. If someone had gone around saying ‘it’s a great day to go to confession’ they would have been reprimanded for ‘singularising’ themselves, which was regarded as a sin of pride

 

[guanophore]

I had a very traditional Cathoilc upbringing I was taught by nuns then priests. If someone had gone around saying ‘it’s a great day to go to confession’ they would have been reprimanded for ‘singularising’ themselves, which was regarded as a sin of pride

LOL.

That just proves how much our faith expression is culturally influenced.

 

[JimmyG88]

LOL.

That just proves how much our faith expression is culturally influenced.

Well it’s Catholic culture. Personally I find overt expressions of religiosity slightly strange. But religion is such a part of life in my family and in many other Irish that it’s not worth mentioning if you go to confession you just go. Who needs to know??