Struggling College Student

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scarletandgrey

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I am a first year college student at a public university. I know myself well, and I know that my faith and beliefs are very important to me. After attending Catholic school all my life, I have been taught the faith and all of its aspects, and I am proud to say that I stand with the Church and all that she teaches. However, I am really struggling. The church at my college is so… different. It is so upbeat, it doesn’t even feel like Church, and I know some things that they are doing probably wouldn’t be considered “right” compared to back home and compared to other churches I have been to. I haven’t been going very much because I don’t really like the church, plus I have been busy and stressed out, I haven’t been going to confession, I probably haven’t been making the right choices… I just don’t know what to do. I don’t have a good relationship with my parents so I can’t talk to them about it. My boyfriend and I try our best to stay pure but we sometimes stray. I try my best to live my life as God would want but I’m scared I’m straying. I really want to stand up for my beliefs, especially amid the pro-choice population at my college. I want to be back where I used to be in my faith, and I don’t know how to get started… I ask for your prayers and for your advice on how I should better myself and my faith. Thank you
 
I will pray. Is there another Catholic church nearby you could attend?
 
There are some, but I do not have a car, and by the time I take the bus there and back (with the bus schedule on sundays) I will have been gone for about 4 hours, and with my schedule I just can’t do that. Most of the time I do go on Sundays, I just don’t feel like i’m going to mass. I try to tell myself that everyone there is sharing a common faith, but I still don’t feel that it is the right place for me. But thank you for your prayers
 
It might be helpful, then, to contact your priest in your home parish. Maybe you can make phone appointments or something to keep in touch about these issues. Tell him what you told us, that you want to be back to where you used to be in your faith. Tell him the issues that are getting in the way. He is your parish priest, even if you are at college.
 
Most college Masses are more upbeat than you might be used to after years of standard parish Masses. The only people there want to be there (no parents around to make them go, right?), which alone makes it a more positive atmosphere. There are very few kids running around; there are no people fuming about the freakin’ kids running around and how no one does it the way they used to; a lot of kids are feeling a sense of empowerment, because they aren’t frozen out of choir, altar service, etc. by all the old folks (in fact, the Mass doesn’t happen if the kids don’t help out); the list goes on and on.

Add to that the common 20-something preference for upbeat music, no one who remembers the Latin Masses, and the general we-can-fix-everything idealism of your stereotypical college crowd, and you get a very upbeat Mass.

If that isn’t your cup of tea, that can be rather unsettling.

But it’s still the Mass. It’s still the Body and Blood of Our Lord. It’s still the Word of God, preached in every single Mass. And it’s still God Himself present, wherever two or three are gathered in His Name.

So go. Sing along. Pay attention to the preaching. Go to confession regularly. Pray.

God is with you. Even when college uproots the life you’ve been used to, exposes you to things you’d rather not see or hear, and challenges the beliefs you’ve grown up following. Right now is one of those points in your life when Jesus is leaving only one set of footprints behind you in the sand. He is there; trust in Him. This, too, shall pass.
 
Godfollower raises some excellent points. Even though the environment may be a bit different from what you’re used to, it is still the Mass, and that’s what counts. If you want to re-inject a bit of the contemplative and meditative back into your life, may I suggest private prayer? Perhaps you and your boyfriend could take up a devotion to the Rosary. Does the church there offer ministries in which you could get involved? Often acts of charity help to ease the disquiet in our souls.

We are praying for you. Know that to be Catholic means that you are never alone, no matter how much you may feel so.
 
scarletandgrey said:
I am a first year college student at a public university. I know myself well, and I know that my faith and beliefs are very important to me. After attending Catholic school all my life, I have been taught the faith and all of its aspects, and I am proud to say that I stand with the Church and all that she teaches. However, I am really struggling. The church at my college is so… different. It is so upbeat, it doesn’t even feel like Church, and I know some things that they are doing probably wouldn’t be considered “right” compared to back home and compared to other churches I have been to. I haven’t been going very much because I don’t really like the church, plus I have been busy and stressed out, I haven’t been going to confession, I probably haven’t been making the right choices… I just don’t know what to do. I don’t have a good relationship with my parents so I can’t talk to them about it. My boyfriend and I try our best to stay pure but we sometimes stray. I try my best to live my life as God would want but I’m scared I’m straying. I really want to stand up for my beliefs, especially amid the pro-choice population at my college. I want to be back where I used to be in my faith, and I don’t know how to get started… I ask for your prayers and for your advice on how I should better myself and my faith. Thank you
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You are not alone. I am a student myself and I am struggling all the time. In fact, my life is all about falling and getting up. I fall a lot but I think the most important thing is getting up and asking for God’s pardon and strength. But sometimes I feel like it’s just monotonous and it makes going to confession difficult.

I change Churches like a prostitute but mostly due to mass schedules. Every now and then, I would prefer to attend morning mass, midday mass or evening mass. And I go to different Churches accordingly.

Sometimes we are told not to complain because where are problems stop is where the problems of another starts. There are lots of Churches in my area. I used to live like 5 minutes away from a Church. Now I live like 15 minutes bike distance to most Churches and I sometimes complain about the distance. Even when I want to go to the Cathedral, it’s about 1 hour to and fro with the public transport. So I shouldn’t complain at all since others could spend up to 4 hours like you said.

Again, you are not alone. Keep running the race. From time to time, things may not go as planned but never give up. When you fall, always try to get up.
 
All good points about Mass, but she still needs someone she trusts to help her with the other issues with her boyfriend.

OP, would you be able to talk to your parish priest or the one at your college?
 
Praying hard for you. Have you tried the Newman Society? I would also recommend saying the Rosary everday. Good luck!
 
Lord, please help scarletandgrey to be the woman you want her to be. May she be resolved to keep your commandments and faithfully practice her faith. She will find a deeper relationship with you, and healing and strength, in the sacraments so please help her to frequent them. May she pray the Rosary every day and pray especially for deep faith and holy purity. Help her to go to confession ASAP and help her to find a holy priest who can help her to live a holy chaste life. Thank you, Lord, for hearing my prayer.
 
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