Struggling with being a female catholic

[Starrsmother]

Just a word: dressing in man’s clothes is different from wearing jeans that are made for a women. I’m pretty sure the Bible means that one should only dress in his or her own gender specific clothing.

I don’t think that particular biblical quote even applies anymore today.I think it was a big deal in biblical times as clothing was more gender-specific and assigned by sex. A woman back then who dressed as a man or a man who dressed in a woman’s veil would send an unspoken message and it would have been seen as scandalous I suspect. Today, women wear what are technically men’s clothes all the time–and probably the reverse may be true–though if so, I admit that I can’t think of an example off hand. You fellows out there would have to educate me on that one! LOL!

I buy and wear men’s Tee-shirts and even big regular shirts all the time. I also sleep in one of my hubby’s t-shirts. I also own a couple of pair of men’s draw string sweat pants that I love because they have pockets–and for some odd reason, you have a hard time finding women’s sweats with pockets! I sometimes buy my jeans in the women’s selection and other times the men’s–I’m not particularly heavy, but I’m tall, and so sometimes fitting by waist and inseam just works better for me! I know many, many women who do the same. I have a niece who works in the oil fields in Texas and I guarantee that her work clothes are right off the men’s rack right down to her steel-toed boots! I seriously don’t think that old early biblical dress code even slightly applies anymore personally. Wear whatever is modest and comfortable and appropriate is most women’s rule of thumb I think!

 

[razzandazz]

guys, i don’t really know what to do. i feel really lost. i am a female attending university, don’t like dresses or skirts, enjoy sports, prefer subjects like math and science, rather have short hair, don’t like make-up or jewelry or any of those things. i have no desire for marriage or religious life. but according to catholic teaching as well as vonservative opinion or even the bible, i fall short of being a woman by far. what does it really mean to be a cahotlic woman? i really have no idea. seems like all the advancements made for women have mainly done by the secular world. not that i agree with all the choices. but for example, back in the middle ages, when most people were catholic, there were jobs that were off-limits to women like doctor and lawyer and they weren’t even allowed to go to university. i feel like the only thing that is truly acceptable is either being a mother or a nun. even now, there are lists of things that some catholics think women shouldn’t be doing. i’m just so confused by all of it. would an ideal christian society look like with regards to the two genders working together? i feel like there have been too much on either side, men relegating women to second class citizens almost or else women overdoing it and trying to push men out of the picture completely as well. i feel like women should be able to work in most fields (i’m not talking about ordination here; that’s a different issue completely). on the other hand, i feel like that if a person wants to raise kids, that shouldn’t be discouraged either by employers. and according to the bible, apparently wearing men’s clothes is abominable and having short hair is shameful. any advice anyone has would be appreciated. perhaps i am being scrupulous and overthinking?

The fact that you are searching for answers within yourself is part of the maturing process. There is not anything wrong with what you are asking and feeling. God is preparing you for something and is teaching you patience. I pray that the Holy Spirit guides you in this process and that the voice of God is clear to you so that you are able to discern. We all fall short in one way or the other so you certainly are not alone. The world has expectations for us and our challenge is hearing the voice of God through all the noise. Jeremiah 29:11 “For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.”

 

[AbideWithMe]

Today, women wear what are technically men’s clothes all the time–and probably the reverse may be true–though if so, I admit that I can’t think of an example off hand. You fellows out there would have to educate me on that one! LOL!

Yoga Pants song–youtube.com/watch?v=WiS9Obrza9w

 

[KrazyKat]

guys, i don’t really know what to do. i feel really lost. i am a female attending university, don’t like dresses or skirts, enjoy sports, prefer subjects like math and science, rather have short hair, don’t like make-up or jewelry or any of those things. i have no desire for marriage or religious life. but according to catholic teaching as well as vonservative opinion or even the bible, i fall short of being a woman by far. what does it really mean to be a cahotlic woman? i really have no idea. seems like all the advancements made for women have mainly done by the secular world. not that i agree with all the choices. but for example, back in the middle ages, when most people were catholic, there were jobs that were off-limits to women like doctor and lawyer and they weren’t even allowed to go to university. i feel like the only thing that is truly acceptable is either being a mother or a nun. even now, there are lists of things that some catholics think women shouldn’t be doing. i’m just so confused by all of it. would an ideal christian society look like with regards to the two genders working together? i feel like there have been too much on either side, men relegating women to second class citizens almost or else women overdoing it and trying to push men out of the picture completely as well. i feel like women should be able to work in most fields (i’m not talking about ordination here; that’s a different issue completely). on the other hand, i feel like that if a person wants to raise kids, that shouldn’t be discouraged either by employers. and according to the bible, apparently wearing men’s clothes is abominable and having short hair is shameful. any advice anyone has would be appreciated. perhaps i am being scrupulous and overthinking?

Please check out Opus Dei . You will see how important you are. No one is unimportant to the Church. Praying for you.

 

[Linusthe2nd]

guys, i don’t really know what to do. i feel really lost. i am a female attending university, don’t like dresses or skirts, enjoy sports, prefer subjects like math and science, rather have short hair, don’t like make-up or jewelry or any of those things. i have no desire for marriage or religious life. but according to catholic teaching as well as vonservative opinion or even the bible, i fall short of being a woman by far. what does it really mean to be a cahotlic woman? i really have no idea. seems like all the advancements made for women have mainly done by the secular world. not that i agree with all the choices. but for example, back in the middle ages, when most people were catholic, there were jobs that were off-limits to women like doctor and lawyer and they weren’t even allowed to go to university. i feel like the only thing that is truly acceptable is either being a mother or a nun. even now, there are lists of things that some catholics think women shouldn’t be doing. i’m just so confused by all of it. would an ideal christian society look like with regards to the two genders working together? i feel like there have been too much on either side, men relegating women to second class citizens almost or else women overdoing it and trying to push men out of the picture completely as well. i feel like women should be able to work in most fields (i’m not talking about ordination here; that’s a different issue completely). on the other hand, i feel like that if a person wants to raise kids, that shouldn’t be discouraged either by employers. and according to the bible, apparently wearing men’s clothes is abominable and having short hair is shameful. any advice anyone has would be appreciated. perhaps i am being scrupulous and overthinking?

I have three spinster friends, sisters in their 50s and 60s, and they don’t seem to be having a problem. First, it is really great to be a nephew or niece with three working spinster aunts who have no one to spend their money on. They buy their nieces and nephews horses, take them on trips to Europe, give great birthday and Christmas gifts,etc.

Aside from that, one of these gals is self-employed as a business consultant. All three are really good Catholic gals who go to Mass each Sunday and Holyday and other days as well and do lots of volunteer work for the Church. You name it, they do it. They are well balanced, very bright gals and I really like them. And they are very feminine, they aren’t " men wanabes. " I think their secret is their spirituality, they are as near saints as one is likely to meet. No, they aren’t sports nuts. That is the one thing I don’t appreciate in a woman. And I think men are too nutty that way too.

Linus2nd

 

[Ridgerunner]

guys, i don’t really know what to do. i feel really lost. i am a female attending university, don’t like dresses or skirts, enjoy sports, prefer subjects like math and science, rather have short hair, don’t like make-up or jewelry or any of those things. i have no desire for marriage or religious life. but according to catholic teaching as well as vonservative opinion or even the bible, i fall short of being a woman by far. what does it really mean to be a cahotlic woman? i really have no idea. seems like all the advancements made for women have mainly done by the secular world. not that i agree with all the choices. but for example, back in the middle ages, when most people were catholic, there were jobs that were off-limits to women like doctor and lawyer and they weren’t even allowed to go to university. i feel like the only thing that is truly acceptable is either being a mother or a nun. even now, there are lists of things that some catholics think women shouldn’t be doing. i’m just so confused by all of it. would an ideal christian society look like with regards to the two genders working together? i feel like there have been too much on either side, men relegating women to second class citizens almost or else women overdoing it and trying to push men out of the picture completely as well. i feel like women should be able to work in most fields (i’m not talking about ordination here; that’s a different issue completely). on the other hand, i feel like that if a person wants to raise kids, that shouldn’t be discouraged either by employers. and according to the bible, apparently wearing men’s clothes is abominable and having short hair is shameful. any advice anyone has would be appreciated. perhaps i am being scrupulous and overthinking?

I think you might be overthinking it, alright. No offense.

As a man, I can’t fully relate to your situation. But I come from a long line of working women, and I’m having a little trouble understanding why you view your situation as problematic. I had two aunts who never married. one had her own insurance business and the other was a freight forwarder. One of them “jeweled up” in her daily attire (the first one, and it might have been for a perceived business reason) and the other “dressed down”, which you could do as a freight forwarder.

Never did I hear either of them complain about not marrying or becoming nuns. I think they liked what they were doing and felt it fulfilling. The insurance one was astonishingly active in the church and in charitable things. The other was more “stay at home”, though she did like to travel.

One of my sisters never married. She recently retired from her profession and is now engaged in education in that profession and in charitable works. She also travels a lot; has friends all over the U.S.

Now, maybe someday you’ll think marriage or the religious life may be for you. But if you’re not perceiving either of those at present, then I think the best thing would be to just get on with your life; get into an occupation you will like, consider your capabilities and duties to charity, and make life decisions as they come to you.

You’ll be ok.

 

[Contarini]

if they misunderstood the bible in those days, couldn’t they have misunderstood other things about the bible as well?

Certainly they could have.

The Catholic claim is that the Holy Spirit has not allowed the Church to lose any part of the original “deposit of faith.”

Understanding the full implications of that heritage is another matter. If Jesus doesn’t come back for another million years, there will still be a lot we haven’t worked out when He does.

Edwin

 

[JanetF]

guys, i don’t really know what to do. i feel really lost. i am a female attending university, don’t like dresses or skirts, enjoy sports, prefer subjects like math and science, rather have short hair, don’t like make-up or jewelry or any of those things. i have no desire for marriage or religious life. but according to catholic teaching as well as vonservative opinion or even the bible, i fall short of being a woman by far. what does it really mean to be a cahotlic woman?

I don’t think any of those attributes is non-catholic. In fact some of those things are rather superficial. I think, and this is my opinion only, that some of the best catholics have been mathematicians, doctors, scientists (imagine a female professor at a Jesuit institution), etc. Your faith isn’t epitomized by whether you wear slacks or a dress. God gives you talents and wants you to use them to the best of your ability, so if that means, you are great at using a hammer, he’s not going to expect you to wear a dress. Some of the “rules” stated in scripture about hair length, fashion are addressed to particular people at a particular time in life. I don’t think anyone wore slacks in Jesus time, KWIM?

Being a woman, and a catholic woman at that, is about much more than lipstick and earrings. Don’t know if this helps, but I have a teenage daughter with similar interests to yours, so I’m interested.

 

[angell1]

thanks for the great posts guys, i think the devil tries to confuse me sometimes. honestly, i never even thought about these things until i came on the forum and saw some people’s thoughts as well as other christian deominations and their ideas on it. i don’t really care about other’s people’s ionions mostly but i’m kind of afraid that at the end of my life, i will face God and i’ll be one of those people that he tells did wrong things without even knowing it

 

[LongingSoul]

I think that living in this age also, we aren’t yet objective enough to weigh the compromises of womens new ‘freedoms’ against the ‘prison’ of housewife and motherhood as vocation… especially the long term effect of the millions of people now being raised predominantely by the child care industry. The esteemed role of the mothers presence to her children (and what that contributes to the success of society) will have more meaning in the decades and centuries to come when the cultural shifts in womens roles can be evaluated objectively.

 

[natistics]

I have recently struggled with this as well. I highly recommend you read the Madeleva Lecture Series from St. Mary’s College.

Especially these two lectures:

Women and the Word: The Gender of God in the New Testament and the Spirituality of Women by Sandra M. Schneiders, IHM

and

Job’s Daughters: Women and Power by Joan Chittister, OSB

Start with the one by Sandra Schneiders. It really helped me understand my place as a woman in the Catholic Church. I felt for so long that God hated me, that I was lesser because I was a woman. But I feel I can now actually relate to Jesus and God. (Hint: “They” are not as masculine as we are led to believe.)

Cheers!

 

[Aviatrix]

I recently had a pleasure of visiting the Ursulines in Quebec City. They have been educating girls there since 1639! They have a wonderful museum, that makes it clear the diversity of subjects they taught the girls. Math, chemistry and physical education are just some of the subjects they covered. It wouldn’t surprise me to discover that they taught girls these things long before secular society did. The founders was beatified in the 80s, and the Ursuline order was founded for the education of women. Just an example of how the church supports the education of women. It is easy to conflate the expectations of conservative society with those of the church., but it isn’t necessarily accurate.

I know how it can be tricky as a woman who does not fit into common definitions of femininity. Most of my jobs and all of my hobbies and sports are male dominated. Ii’d rather swing a hammer than wield a needle, and I haven’t worn makeup or a skirt in months. Remember, God made you, and he has a plan for you.

P.S I would recommend the Ursuline chapel and museum to anyone visiting Quebec City. Very inspiring. In fact, I would recommend Quebec City in general. The sounds of the bells of dozens of churches ringing off the stone building on Sunday morning is incredible.

 

[livingwordunity]

It was a Catholic University that was the first in the world to award a woman with a Ph.D.

Elena Lucrezia Piscopia Cornaro

A learned Italian woman of noble descent, born at Venice, 5 June, 1646; died at Padua, 26 July, 1684. Her father, Giovanni Battista Cornaro, was Procurator of St. Mark’s. At the age of seven she began the study of Latin and Greek under distinguished instructors, and soon became proficient in these languages. She also mastered Hebrew, Spanish, French, and Arabic, earning the title of “Oraculum Septilingue”. Her later studies included mathematics, philosophy, and theology. In 1665 she took the habit of a Benedictine Oblate without, however, becoming a nun. In compliance with her father’s wishes she entered the University of Padua and after a brilliant course of study received the doctorate in philosophy. The degree was conferred 25 June, 1678, in the cathedral of Padua in presence of many persons eminent for learning and rank. Elena was a member of various academies and was esteemed throughout Europe for her attainments and virtues. The last seven years of her life were devoted to study and charity. She was buried in the church of Santa Giustina at Padua and her statue was placed in the university. Her writings, published at Parma in 1688, include academic discourses, translations, and devotional treatises. In 1685 the University of Padua caused a medal to be struck in her honour. In 1895 Abbess Mathilda Pynsent of the English Benedictine Nuns in Rome had Elena’s tomb opened, the remains placed in a new casket, and a suitable tablet inscribed to her memory.

Source

The Catholic Church is called “She”, and our Blessed Mother is above every Pope and is the first and highest of all the saints. God even made her Queen of Angels, Queen of Heaven, Queen of the Universe, etc. She is only second to God in our spiritual hierarchy. And one of the most recited prayers in Catholicism is the Hail Mary prayer which asks our Blessed Mother for her intercession to God for us because the Church teaches that she is the one who sits at the right hand of Jesus in Heaven. The Catholic Church teaches that the Virgin Mary, our spiritual Mother, is the most beautiful out of all of God’s creation.

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