Struggling with converting to Catholicsm

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Lily0fthevalley

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Just alittle background, i never grew up in a Christian home, i’ve always kind of knew that God existed in the back of my mind but never really got involved with going to Church and having a relationship with Jesus. My mom was a former Buddist and now she is an Evangelical, since her convert i have been struggling with trying to have a relationship with Jesus. Now more so since my husband and i attending RCIA classes and we just went through the Rite of Election. Our first confession is coming up this month and now things are really getting serious.

My husband has grew up in a Christian home, was a former Baptist and now converting into Catholicism. I see him growing spiritually and i’m not, he knows all the prayer rituals and i still don’t. I think i’m pretty much stuck where i was in the beginning. Past couple weeks i’ve been telling him Catholicism isn’t my thing and just today i just told him I want to drop out.

I’m not sure if i can talk to the priest about it because he is from India and there is some language barrier so he’s hard to understand sometimes, he’s a good man though.

Anyone who is converting ever really struggled and feel like backing out? if so what did you do to work through it and try to grow spiritually?. I have to admit all these “rules” are a bit confusing, it’d be so much easier to just attend a protestant church but i know that’s just the easy way out.
 
I know it’s slightly askew on topic of your post but check out the link in my signature for the BVM typology in the bible, as most converts have trouble understanding catholics veneration of the BVM
 
I’m not Catholic, but if I could offer up something? Are you attending RCIA because you are afraid of Hell, or because you are grateful for God’s presence? Could it be that you are like me, and need intellectual knowledge to fill in gaps? Are you putting so much emphasis on learning the rituals that you’re neglecting the “personal connection”? What I see in the Church is that people worship with their lips, in the manner that they emphasize the ritual, and neglect the motive behind it. Find a topic that you are confused on, then research the development of the doctrine. I could be wrong, but the theme I find throughout scripture is Love. If you mess up the words in a Hail Mary, but have a worshipful heart, is God going to deduct points? My understanding is minute in comparison to many on this forum, and I’d be happy to defer to someone that can correct my notions, if they can also point out why they’re inaccurate, and offer the right methodology. Don’t just quit. Find strength in your brothers and sisters. Talk it out with those that are further along in their walk. You may find peace in it.
 
Converting is difficult, and you are on the home stretch and it’s Lent so the devil will attack you and try to make you back out. This happened to me too. As you said, to give up would be the easy way out - the most rewarding things in life are often the hardest ones. You are doing the courageous thing and pleasing God, so don’t give up!

It’s OK if you don’t know all the prayers and such. Truly. You can learn more and keep learning after you enter the Church, and these things are externals, anyway. Not that externals are not important, but God sees your heart and sees the effort you are making.

Ask yourself: Do I believe that the Catholic Church is the one Jesus founded? Do I believe that He gave the Holy Spirit to the Church? Do I believe in the Real Presence of Christ in the Eucharist?

If you can say yes to these questions, you are Catholic in heart already and you just have to endure these last few weeks of struggle; once you enter the Church it will get better, truly. If you have doubts about some or all of these questions, that is fine, but you need to ask yourself if you can believe them, if you want to believe them. As long as your heart is willing to believe and wants to believe, you have the right attitude. All other concerns are secondary.

Pray and pray and pray. You don’t have to pray formal prayers if you find them too difficult; you can just speak to God from your heart and tell Him about your struggles, ask for help to get through these difficulties. If you are worried about your confession, don’t be. I was terrified of my first confession but it is actually a great blessing.

Prayers for you. :gopray2:
 
I’m a Cradle Catholic, so don’t have any experience with conversion, but just wanted to add some general words of encouragement. I’ve read a fair number of conversion accounts, and not one said it was easy.

I would caution, however, against backing out because you are not progressing fast enough. These things can take time. Consider that God did not incarnate and reveal the fullness of His nature to humanity until just 2000 years ago - that’s five thousand years after the beginnings of what we can call civilization. He didn’t seem to think that was too slow, so don’t be surprised if His workings within you are not immediate.

(And I certainly wouldn’t consider not having many prayers memorized as a sign of slow progress - I think I only mostly know the ones we say in mass, and have a hard time with some of those if I’m not saying them along with the crowd. It’s something to work on, certainly, but it’s not the key.)

I think maybe focus on RCIA as a search for truth, and let God lead you where He will. (Of course, I say that with a definite guess about where that will be.)
 
Layman_F said:
What I see in the Church is that people worship with their lips, in the manner that they emphasize the ritual, and neglect the motive behind it. .
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How could you possibly know that? Do you see into people’s hearts?

There are many Catholics who have a very sincere and deep love of God. Yes, some others may not have a very deep faith or understanding of what they are doing, but there is room in the Church for them, too. We are all here to grow and learn to love God more. We don’t become Catholic because we are perfect.

Judge not according to the appearance. (Jn 7:24)
 
Lily0fthevalley said:
Just alittle background, i never grew up in a Christian home, i’ve always kind of knew that God existed in the back of my mind but never really got involved with going to Church and having a relationship with Jesus. My mom was a former Buddist and now she is an Evangelical, since her convert i have been struggling with trying to have a relationship with Jesus. Now more so since my husband and i attending RCIA classes and we just went through the Rite of Election. Our first confession is coming up this month and now things are really getting serious.

My husband has grew up in a Christian home, was a former Baptist and now converting into Catholicism. I see him growing spiritually and i’m not, he knows all the prayer rituals and i still don’t. I think i’m pretty much stuck where i was in the beginning. Past couple weeks i’ve been telling him Catholicism isn’t my thing and just today i just told him I want to drop out.

I’m not sure if i can talk to the priest about it because he is from India and there is some language barrier so he’s hard to understand sometimes, he’s a good man though.

Anyone who is converting ever really struggled and feel like backing out? if so what did you do to work through it and try to grow spiritually?. I have to admit all these “rules” are a bit confusing, it’d be so much easier to just attend a protestant church but i know that’s just the easy way out.
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I think that your idea of conversion is a pretty simplistic one. I am a cradle Catholic and I struggle with conversion every day of my life. It is easier for me to say that I accept all the teachings of the Church but if you dig down you will see that I am ignorant and I probably do not really understand half of the fullness of each teaching. Look at conversion as walking on the path of holiness, you can do that only by the graces of the sanctifying grace that we receive at baptism. Being a Christian is not easy and pain free but it can become joyful when you learn how to put your trust in Christ and in His Church. Sometime you will feel that you get nothing out of being a Christian but that is because you still hold onto something that distracts you from God; however, that something should not stop you from behaving like a Christian and choose to do God’s will. I go through my spiritual dry spells but when I am there that is the moment that I try to surrender completely to God because I know that if I try do be on my own I will mess things up for myself and other people. Follow the simple principle that the less you feel good about being a Christian the more good you plan to do, love is an overwhelming force and it will help you as long as you choose it.
 
Student09 said:
Converting is difficult, and you are on the home stretch and it’s Lent so the devil will attack you and try to make you back out. This happened to me too. As you said, to give up would be the easy way out - the most rewarding things in life are often the hardest ones. You are doing the courageous thing and pleasing God, so don’t give up!

It’s OK if you don’t know all the prayers and such. Truly. You can learn more and keep learning after you enter the Church, and these things are externals, anyway. Not that externals are not important, but God sees your heart and sees the effort you are making.

Ask yourself: Do I believe that the Catholic Church is the one Jesus founded? Do I believe that He gave the Holy Spirit to the Church? Do I believe in the Real Presence of Christ in the Eucharist?

If you can say yes to these questions, you are Catholic in heart already and you just have to endure these last few weeks of struggle; once you enter the Church it will get better, truly. If you have doubts about some or all of these questions, that is fine, but you need to ask yourself if you can believe them, if you want to believe them. As long as your heart is willing to believe and wants to believe, you have the right attitude. All other concerns are secondary.

Pray and pray and pray. You don’t have to pray formal prayers if you find them too difficult; you can just speak to God from your heart and tell Him about your struggles, ask for help to get through these difficulties. If you are worried about your confession, don’t be. I was terrified of my first confession but it is actually a great blessing.

Prayers for you. :gopray2:
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👍 There is a lot of wisdom demonstrated here.
 
See Mark 9:24 “Lord, I believe; help my unbelief!” Does this sound like you? Everyone has questions. God will help you. Have faith.

Saint Augustine, one of the greatest theologians also said, “Seek not to understand that you may believe, but believe that you may understand.”

Sometimes you just have to take that step and trust God.

Many people are praying for you right now.

Gem
 
Hi Lilyofthevalley,

I’m also about to enter the Church this Easter. I, too, was raised without any Christian spiritual formation. I want to reassure you that what you are experiencing right now is normal and expected. The same exact thing happens to many converts at about this point. My sister and her entire family went through it last year. Just as you get very close to finally making it safe inside the ark - all the way home at last - just at that moment, the enemy will bring everything against you to try to discourage you. I’ve been through a great deal of struggle lately, and I know it is the enemy trying to keep me out of the Church.

I’ll be praying for you, asking St. Michael to protect you from evil one who wishes ardently to stop your progress. You will never be fully converted in this life. It’s a process. You are really at the threshold of the true beginning. The Lord comes out to meet you where you are; you don’t have to be some kind of complete, perfected soul for Him to come and walk along with you. Recognize this period of discouragement for what it is, remember that Jesus experienced similar temptation in the desert, pray, and carry on.
 
Layman_F said:
What I see in the Church is that people worship with their lips, in the manner that they emphasize the ritual, and neglect the motive behind it. .
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That is such an arrogant statement.

I don’t often know the motives behind my own actions. How could you or I possibly know and understand the motivations of another soul?
 
Well, when I see people that don’t display love, or devotion to God in their daily lives; and preach to people but embody the “sawdust v. plank” (and no, the irony of me saying that isn’t lost on me) I do tend to judge on actions. Call it arrogance, but I will call it observation. They seem to act out “having Abraham as their father” in the same way that we’re warned. I see it in protestants, Catholics, Jews, etc. I don’t know that they don’t have a love and devotion, but when I’m picking up for the PD because the driver was arrested for trafficking narcotics, and they have a Rosary around the mirror, I think it’s a safe assumption that they are not giving themselves as much as they could. Luke 6:44 By their fruits… I’m truly sorry that I offended, and it wasn’t intended to do so, but it does happen. That can’t be denied.
 
Dear LillyoftheValley,

First, I like your name. Second I admire your sincerity. Your husband is fortunate, I am sure, to have you in his life.

Doubts are normal when one approaches a big decision. And as Student 09 said, the devil does try to pull us away. So let’s review the basics.
  1. Do you believe in God?
  2. Do you believe that Jesus Christ is the Living Son of God?
  3. Do you believe that the real Body and Blood of Jesus Christ is in the Holy Eucharist?
  4. Do you believe in Christ’s power to forgive sins through His Priest in Confession?
If you answer YES to these most basic questions, then you ARE Catholic already and need only make your formal declaration by being Baptised and Confirmed into the Catholic Church.

All the rest of the understanding you want will come in time. Our conversion to Christ is a life long journey. Practicing the Catholic Faith is the very best path.

More about the YES. It is impossible for humans to know the answers 100%. That is NOT given to us. But it is completely possible, in fact, very probable, given proper training such as that in the RCIA Program, that we can answer YES to a degree well enough that allows us to TRUST God and to say, “I do believe!”
 
Exterior behavior does not tell you or me about the interior journey that the soul is making.

You don’t know whether or not someone is struggling with a heavy burden that is hidden behind a rough exterior.

You do not know the sorrow that another person carries.

You do not know the defenses that another person creates to hide their own pain.

You do not know the baby steps a person is making in coming to terms with God’s love.

You do not know anything about how God sees and loves the souls of those around you.
 
Reread what I wrote… It wasn’t meant to be a blanket for Catholics… It wasn’t meant to be that anti-Catholic line about repetitious prayers… Sorry… I’ll shut up now.
 
Layman_F said:
when I’m picking up for the PD because the driver was arrested for trafficking narcotics, and they have a Rosary around the mirror, I think it’s a safe assumption that they are not giving themselves as much as they could. Luke 6:44 By their fruits… .
Click to expand...
Some gangs use rosaries and some people use them as a fashion statement or a cultural statement. Don’t confuse that with being a Mass-going Catholic actually practicing the faith. Not that practicing Catholics are perfect or free from hypocrisy either, but seriously, if you are going to make such judgements, at least base them on Catholics who are truly trying to live the faith and not on drug dealers who use rosaries as decorations.

The worst thing about your comments is that you came on a thread for someone asking for support and guidance and posted with apparently no other intention than sowing controversy. I’m sure you didn’t mean to be unkind or insensitive, but that is how it comes across. I’ll stop now before I derail the thread further.
 
Thanks for some of your support 🙂 i talked about it to hubby last night, There is some personal obstacles that i am going through that is roadblocking me in having a relationship with Jesus and i will mention it at the RCIA class tonight, it won’t hurt for me to talk to the pastor either, thanks everyone for your (name removed by moderator)ut ;).
 
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