Struggling with crossdressing

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Something I have pondered lately, maybe someone can shed some light on this. The old testament was pretty harsh in penalties. The Lord this and the Lord that, killing, stoning, losing everything. Whereas the Christ of the new testament is way more loving, forgiving, and loving His flock. In the old I am a abomination, in the new I am blessed because I come before Him. I have been this way since I was about 5. I do see similarities in the above analysis, quite a interesting take on it. But since self acceptance I feel relieved that I am OK with the world and my Lord. Little by little it is getting to be a non issue. I do not totally understand why but I now can think about other things now instead of being trans.
 
I have done some research on this and this is what I have found: Psychologists regard your condition as a fetish. You are basically, a normal, healthy, heterosexual male with this condition hard-wired in your brain. When you fantasize about wearing women’s clothing your brain releases dopamine and other neurotransmitters. Its just as if your brain is interpreting cross-dressing as actual contact with a female. It releases neurotransmitters which produce sensations of well-being, pleasures, sexual gratification and bonding. It affects the reward centers of your brain, instant gratification, and thus it mimics the addiction response.

Most heterosexual men with this condition consider it a problem. They want to get married and have a happy marriage, so they learn to keep their cross-dressing private, very private. They try to quit, over and over, and they pray, and they try to make it go away. They cannot. You cannot stop your brain from releasing neurotransmitters.
I understand this is well intentioned, however it does not represent the vast majority of individuals who start of as “cross-dressers” but later identify as transgender. typically this is experienced at ages below 4 years old when there is no sexual arousal.
This is neither a learned behavior nor an addiction that can be treated as such.
 
Regarding Deuteronomy 22:5: Is this verse really about cross-dressing in the sense we use the term? If so, then we would have a really big problem with women wearing pants and other men’s clothing. Does God think that women who wear pants are an abomination?

Let’s see how Jews interpret this verse: beki.org/crossdress.html
Humm, seems there is quite a bit of controversy on this verse in Jewish circles. It is important to note that when this verse was written the Jewish community practiced separation of the genders. They believed that if males and females mingled then that would led to all the other sexual problems. So males and females did NOT mingle socially, ever. Even in the synagogues the men were separated from the women. (When Jews moved to America they started family seating in synagogues and at first they called it “promiscuous seating”.) So it is likely that Deuteronomy 22:5 was intended to protect the Jewish practice of separation of genders. If a man wore women’s clothing he would mingle with women and that would lead to sin. If a woman wore men’s clothing she would mingle with men and that would surely lead to sin. Cross-dressing was not a sin in itself, it was the fact that it led to sin that made it a problem. (So the God of the Old Testament does not change from the God of the New Testament.)

In the Jewish community there is also the feast of Purim, where it was customary to cross-dress. However, this was not regarded as a sin. It was done as a joke, to make people laugh. Today we see cross-dressing included in entertainment as a form of comedy. If cross-dressing is used to raise money for a charity, then there is no sin. If cross-dressing is used for humor, then there is no sin. However, if you cross-dress to stimulate yourself and masturbate, then there is a problem. If you cross-dress because you need to get touch with your female side, then you need a therapist about gender identification disorder.
 
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