Struggling with sins

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MarianCatholic

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Hi, Im no different than the rest of you guys struggling with lust.
I think my main problem however is that I simply can’t see how it’s such a big sin, I mean its not like Im jerking of instead of making love to my wife or anything (Im single btw so that couldn’t be) in that case I could see how it’s ruining the chance of a new life,
I know that the typical argument is that sex is only ment for reproduction and I understand that argument, but I simply can’t see the harm in a little stress release by myself.
I know that the church sees it as a severe sin so I try not to do it obviously, but my lack of understanding makes it hard not to give in to the lust.

I’m a catechumens btw and Im unable to confess until Easter due to the fact that that’s when I’m being initiated into full communion (Im a convert) so the thought also sneaking in that Im free to commit sins until then, becouse Im prohibited from making a confession until them.

It’s like, it doesn’t matter how much Im confessing then so why not give in to the lust.
I know it’s not like that and Im feeling horrible afterwards.
If there are any other converts here please give me an advise how to not give into this sins.

Thanks in advance for any answers I may receive.

Yours in Jesus and Mary
  • MarianCatholic
 
Have you ever seen “The passion of the Christ”? If not, I suggest it. My mom once said that she saw it once and couldn’t watch it again because of “what they did to him.” It was quite gory. But the fact of the matter is, it was our sins that put him there. He took that on himself to redeem us from our sins. We are in bondage to the sins until we give them over to Jesus. Your lust is a problem, and I can’t see how you can excuse it with the feeling that you won’t do anything about it because you haven’t had your first confession. The time to stop the sin is now, not later. The longer you allow it, the harder it is to break free.
 
Here, read through this. It might help you understand.

scborromeo.org/ccc/p3s2c2a6.htm

You should read through it all, but this one is perhaps the most obviously relevant:

2351 Lust is disordered desire for or inordinate enjoyment of sexual pleasure. Sexual pleasure is morally disordered when sought for itself, isolated from its procreative and unitive purposes.

Lust is wrong because it is selfish, it causes a person to turn inwards so that they fold in on themselves. This prevents them from looking to God and knowing true love. That is why it is such a grave matter.

And here’s something else you might find instructive.

catholic.com/blog/matt-fradd/c-s-lewis-on-lust-women-and-masturbation
 
MarianCatholic said:
Hi, Im no different than the rest of you guys struggling with lust.
I think my main problem however is that I simply can’t see how it’s such a big sin, I mean its not like Im jerking of instead of making love to my wife or anything (Im single btw so that couldn’t be) in that case I could see how it’s ruining the chance of a new life,
I know that the typical argument is that sex is only ment for reproduction and I understand that argument, but I simply can’t see the harm in a little stress release by myself.
I know that the church sees it as a severe sin so I try not to do it obviously, but my lack of understanding makes it hard not to give in to the lust.

I’m a catechumens btw and Im unable to confess until Easter due to the fact that that’s when I’m being initiated into full communion (Im a convert) so the thought also sneaking in that Im free to commit sins until then, becouse Im prohibited from making a confession until them.

It’s like, it doesn’t matter how much Im confessing then so why not give in to the lust.
I know it’s not like that and Im feeling horrible afterwards.
If there are any other converts here please give me an advise how to not give into this sins.

Thanks in advance for any answers I may receive.

Yours in Jesus and Mary
  • MarianCatholic
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Sex isn’t just for “reproduction”, but it is an act of transcended one’s self, it’s a moment of ecstasy (Latin exstare, literally to stand “stare” outside of one’s self “ex”). When you masturbate, you turn an act of selfless giving into an act of selfish pleasure seeking. You turn from exstare to what St. Augustine, who struggled mightly with lust himself, called curvatus in se being turned in on oneself, which perverts the whole act and the whole will of the man doing it.

Further, think about (you don’t have to share) what is arousing you. Let’s assume it is a mental image or picture of a woman. You then are using her as an object, which itself is sinful. People are meant to be loved and valued, not used for our own pleasure.

Is it hard to stop? Sure. But all things are possible with Christ (Phil 4:13). If you ever want to be free, though, you have to be willing to understand what you are doing is wrong and that it is ultimately making you unhappy. Sin always enslaves us. Always makes us miserable (regardless of how we feel at the time). Self control (and God’s grace) can and will set you free and make you happy. Remember, Jesus Himself told us that the pure in heart are blessed in the sermon on the mount.

Lastly, realize that masturbation is, under normal circumstances, mortally sinful. That means you are killing your soul and your relationship with Christ by doing it. If you die in a state of mortal sin, you will go to Hell.

Fortunately for us sinners, God is merciful and will forgive us any sin that we sincerely repent of. So repent and try not to do it again. It might take awhile before you can truly and perpetually break the habit, but seek God’s mercy each time with a firm amendment to never do it again. And once you are in the Church you can frequent the Sacrament of Confession for added graces and certainty of forgiveness.

I’ll say a prayer for you to St. Joseph who must have really had lust under control.

God bless.
 
I have no idea if this wil make sense or if it’s correct, I do believe all church teachings. I am a girl who seems to have a stronger sexual desire than most women I know. I realized that as Catholics we aren’t afraid of sex or see it as bad. When I accepted my body as good and my sexuality as not something bad it paradoxically became easier to control lust and be friends to people. Somehow repressing it because of fear of lust made it worse. Okay that sounds trite but it’s actually meaningful lol. Sorry I can’t be more articulate.

It became once I embraced this and let go of my old puritan / waspy upbringing, I realized in trying really hard to be strong I was allowing myself to be a slave to body responses. When I accept responses which aren’t sins, my reaction to them is less sinful. Lord direct my energies.

Reading theology of the body helped a bit

Errrr yeah when you receive the Eucharist it will be easier. Body responses and noticing beauty are not sin and they are natural. Reacting to these things with indulgence and lust is a sin. If I deny my body reaction and act like I got this, it gets worse. Just I accept it and move on.

It’s a sin because it dehumanizes the object of your lust and degrades them as if they don’t have human dignity. This is serious because anything that treats another human like they don’t have human dignity (something that can never be taken away no matter what happened or how bad someone’s sins are, contrary to some people’s belief apparently) is worse than say taking their wallet or something. Human dignity is worth more than wallets!
 
erine said:
I have no idea if this wil make sense or if it’s correct, I do believe all church teachings. I am a girl who seems to have a stronger sexual desire than most women I know. I realized that as Catholics we aren’t afraid of sex or see it as bad. When I accepted my body as good and my sexuality as not something bad it paradoxically became easier to control lust and be friends to people. Somehow repressing it because of fear of lust made it worse. Okay that sounds trite but it’s actually meaningful lol. Sorry I can’t be more articulate.

It became once I embraced this and let go of my old puritan / waspy upbringing, I realized in trying really hard to be strong I was allowing myself to be a slave to body responses. When I accept responses which aren’t sins, my reaction to them is less sinful. Lord direct my energies.

Reading theology of the body helped a bit

Errrr yeah when you receive the Eucharist it will be easier. Body responses and noticing beauty are not sin and they are natural. Reacting to these things with indulgence and lust is a sin. If I deny my body reaction and act like I got this, it gets worse. Just I accept it and move on.

It’s a sin because it dehumanizes the object of your lust and degrades them as if they don’t have human dignity. This is serious because anything that treats another human like they don’t have human dignity (something that can never be taken away no matter what happened or how bad someone’s sins are, contrary to some people’s belief apparently) is worse than say taking their wallet or something. Human dignity is worth more than wallets!
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Nicely put. I like the advice about just accepting it and moving on. Well said.
 
I would always say a quick Hail Mary and physically shake my head to remove the thought from my mind. Thinking about the Blessed Mother, saying that prayer, and doing something physical to represent it going away is what helped me to stay away from it.

Also, as with anything else, the longer you do something the more it becomes a habit. This is true for the reverse of this “habit” too. The longer you can go without being tempted and giving in the less powerful that temptation gets.
 
Self-control is a fruit of the Holy Spirit. When a soul is ready He bestows the grace to conquer, but there is a purgative battle of acceptance of God’s will for you to undergo and to experience the effects of sin and the disaster of sin is brought forth in drama.

Those that are contrite want, one, to be instructed, they want to admit that they lack much and risk is percieved as they walk with the Lord. But the contrite heart will, two, do all it takes to confess over and over again.

“The Lord is near unto them that are of a contrite heart: and he will save the humble of spirit.” (Ps 33 [34]:19 vulgate)

“That we may find thy mercy: nevertheless in a contrite heart and humble spirit let us be accepted.” (Dan 3:39)

“The spirit of the Lord is upon me, because the Lord hath anointed me: he hath sent me to preach to the meek, to heal the contrite of heart” (Isa 61:1)

“A sacrifice to God is an afflicted spirit: a contrite and humbled heart, O God, thou wilt not despise.” (Ps 50 [51]:19 vulgate)

And three, a contrite soul, with the knowledge of the Psalms, desires to conform his heart to the expressions of the Psalmist, and make it his own prayerful expression. Although, he knows he is not pure enough to express piety in that standard. Nevertheless, he trusts that God wills it and He will guide him interiorly to the purity of those Psalmist expressions.

I am convinced that will my own purgative battle, the frequent reading of the Sacred Scripture was the turning point, but it takes time to change into the mode of frequent recourse to the Sacred Scriptures and her enlightened teachers.
 
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