J
jonk
Guest
I would be grateful if you good people could give me some suggestions on how to share my faith with my mother. Here’s a little background on her mentality and some of my ideas.
I’m a Catholic in his 20s and neither of my parents were Christian. My father used to be a raving atheist but our shared belief in objective truth made our discussions much easier. He is now a practicing Catholic, more devout than I am, thanks to God. My mother, a wonderful and good person, however, is difficult to talk to - despite being an intelligent person, she reasons more subjectively, has a more relativistic mindset and appeals to emotion excessively. My parents haven’t lived together since I was born and, in a way, it is good that they are not in touch, because my father is an very intelligent man and is so quick to condemn logical errors in another’s reasoning that he can come across as condescending, which would not be productive with respect to my mother. However, this means I’m alone in this.
My mother has a “do what you feel” mentality which is utterly incomprehensible to me, though I try my best to understand her and use this as a way of underscoring the importance of conscience. She is a monotheistic theist/deist of no religion. Although she has a more or less correct understanding of the Trinity, she does not believe in it. She has some Christian-like beliefs on heaven and the soul, mixed in with New Age. She believes that Jesus was nothing but a wise man. This sort of thinking is infertile ground for Christianity, so initially, I had tried a sort of bottom-up approach, by pointing out its logical inconsistencies in order to make room for Christianity, but my mother is loath to abandon it, because I think she finds emotional comfort in it. I am reluctant to cause her unnecessary emotional discomfort or to become overly adversarial in my infrequent discussions with her, so I have decided that it might be more fruitful to try a top-down approach, where I attempt to plant some Christian absolutes (seeds) in her mind, and hopefully, because of her intelligence and by God’s grace, those seeds will grow.
I’m thinking that I would first try and have an informal discussion about spirituality and discuss what she believes about God. I would try and understand what she believes, and try and persuade her to accept concepts of God such as His infinitude, eternality, His being a personal God, characterised by goodness and perfection without explicitly referring to Christianity so that she wouldn’t become defensive. I’d let her raise objections regarding suffering, omniscience, etc. and discuss them with her. I’d then leave it for a while - I want to leave her with a correct understanding of God without being confrontational or pushy.
My mother believes that almost all people are essentially good, though it would not be difficult to persuade her otherwise. By discussing God’s perfect goodness and our imperfection, which I think she believes inately, I could point out our unworthiness and incapability of gaining heaven for ourselves, avoiding the “all you have to do is live a good life” trap. I would not discuss hell just yet - she would probably become defensive and think I’m trying to frighten her into believing. Even though it is not authoritative for her, I might whip out the Bible here and point out the “all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God” passage in Romans. This will hopefully give the Bible some credibility in matters God-related, which would be helpful, since it is God’s Word. By now, should I be able to answer her objections to her satisfaction, she should be open to the idea of a need for a Saviour.
That’s where I’d start talking about Jesus and Salvation, Evangelical-style. I’d tell her that God is so perfectly good and loving that through His only Son, Jesus Christ, who died on the cross for our sins, He offers salvation to his fallen and imperfect creatures as a free and undeserved gift for those who believe in His Son, referring to the relevant Bible verses. Hopefully, she will at least be interested in the theory, and I would explain to her that we’re saved by grace through faith - again avoiding the “good life” trap by stressing the necessity of faith - while at the same time making her aware of Matthew 7:21 and some passages in James. Since with my mother, I can only get so far with reason and logic, I’d focus on the person of Jesus Christ and try to appeal to her emotional side by emphasising His unconditional and infinite love and His importance in my own life. I would try and make her commit to learning more about Jesus Christ and God’s free gift of salvation and, God-willing, set off a more long-term dialogue that will get into other issues like the authority of the Bible, the Church etc. and make her decision to accept or reject Catholic Christianity an informed one.
I am very aware that prayer is necessary, but it would be foolish of me just to leave it at that if I have an opportunity to do more. That’s sort of a brief sketch of how I’m thinking of going about presenting the Faith to her. I would appreciate any comments, additions, suggestions, etc.
Thanks
Jon
I’m a Catholic in his 20s and neither of my parents were Christian. My father used to be a raving atheist but our shared belief in objective truth made our discussions much easier. He is now a practicing Catholic, more devout than I am, thanks to God. My mother, a wonderful and good person, however, is difficult to talk to - despite being an intelligent person, she reasons more subjectively, has a more relativistic mindset and appeals to emotion excessively. My parents haven’t lived together since I was born and, in a way, it is good that they are not in touch, because my father is an very intelligent man and is so quick to condemn logical errors in another’s reasoning that he can come across as condescending, which would not be productive with respect to my mother. However, this means I’m alone in this.
My mother has a “do what you feel” mentality which is utterly incomprehensible to me, though I try my best to understand her and use this as a way of underscoring the importance of conscience. She is a monotheistic theist/deist of no religion. Although she has a more or less correct understanding of the Trinity, she does not believe in it. She has some Christian-like beliefs on heaven and the soul, mixed in with New Age. She believes that Jesus was nothing but a wise man. This sort of thinking is infertile ground for Christianity, so initially, I had tried a sort of bottom-up approach, by pointing out its logical inconsistencies in order to make room for Christianity, but my mother is loath to abandon it, because I think she finds emotional comfort in it. I am reluctant to cause her unnecessary emotional discomfort or to become overly adversarial in my infrequent discussions with her, so I have decided that it might be more fruitful to try a top-down approach, where I attempt to plant some Christian absolutes (seeds) in her mind, and hopefully, because of her intelligence and by God’s grace, those seeds will grow.
I’m thinking that I would first try and have an informal discussion about spirituality and discuss what she believes about God. I would try and understand what she believes, and try and persuade her to accept concepts of God such as His infinitude, eternality, His being a personal God, characterised by goodness and perfection without explicitly referring to Christianity so that she wouldn’t become defensive. I’d let her raise objections regarding suffering, omniscience, etc. and discuss them with her. I’d then leave it for a while - I want to leave her with a correct understanding of God without being confrontational or pushy.
My mother believes that almost all people are essentially good, though it would not be difficult to persuade her otherwise. By discussing God’s perfect goodness and our imperfection, which I think she believes inately, I could point out our unworthiness and incapability of gaining heaven for ourselves, avoiding the “all you have to do is live a good life” trap. I would not discuss hell just yet - she would probably become defensive and think I’m trying to frighten her into believing. Even though it is not authoritative for her, I might whip out the Bible here and point out the “all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God” passage in Romans. This will hopefully give the Bible some credibility in matters God-related, which would be helpful, since it is God’s Word. By now, should I be able to answer her objections to her satisfaction, she should be open to the idea of a need for a Saviour.
That’s where I’d start talking about Jesus and Salvation, Evangelical-style. I’d tell her that God is so perfectly good and loving that through His only Son, Jesus Christ, who died on the cross for our sins, He offers salvation to his fallen and imperfect creatures as a free and undeserved gift for those who believe in His Son, referring to the relevant Bible verses. Hopefully, she will at least be interested in the theory, and I would explain to her that we’re saved by grace through faith - again avoiding the “good life” trap by stressing the necessity of faith - while at the same time making her aware of Matthew 7:21 and some passages in James. Since with my mother, I can only get so far with reason and logic, I’d focus on the person of Jesus Christ and try to appeal to her emotional side by emphasising His unconditional and infinite love and His importance in my own life. I would try and make her commit to learning more about Jesus Christ and God’s free gift of salvation and, God-willing, set off a more long-term dialogue that will get into other issues like the authority of the Bible, the Church etc. and make her decision to accept or reject Catholic Christianity an informed one.
I am very aware that prayer is necessary, but it would be foolish of me just to leave it at that if I have an opportunity to do more. That’s sort of a brief sketch of how I’m thinking of going about presenting the Faith to her. I would appreciate any comments, additions, suggestions, etc.
Thanks
Jon
