It just seems like splitting hairs and calling it by a different name. I tend to agree with your conclusions, although they are not proveable and certainly any atheist would say otherwise and you cannot disprove him either. To say I won’;t do something because I find it distructive rather than “wrong” is not much of a difference. It’s just another word for the same conclusion.
You seem to think that right and wrong is just about feelings rather then reason. Its true that are feelings can give us some insight, but our feelings can also decieve us. I might feel it is good to beat people up that call me names, where as you might feel that it is wrong. Are perspective, and the way that we are brought up, can greatly affect the way we feel. However, if there is a trancendetal basis that we can reason from, then there is a universal standard. If the purpose of life is to love your enemies, and your neighbor, then it would be wrong for me to beat people up, just because they called me a name.
If I kill somebody to gain wealth, it is wrong, because the purpose of life is to love; it is objectively true, not just a subjective feeling. If there is no purpose to life, then we cannot trully speak of a right or wrong, because there is no objective measure to our actions. We are just making it up according to how we feel. It is a lie, not a truth about objective reality. Inevitably we are doomed into relativism.
How can i know that killing somebody is “wrong” if such a thing as wrong does not exist. You are only describing how you feel; you are not describing objective morality. Instead you are adding something to reality thats not real, and demanding that everybody else feel the same way as you do.
If i put my hand in the fire, and then it burns me, this does not mean that i “ought not to put my hand in the fire”. I might “desire” not to put my hand in the fire, but true morality is not about desire. Morality is not just advise about what we must do to avoid suffering. Ultimate Reality has to be opposed to an act by its very nature of being, inorder for any of my actions to be judged by it.
In otherwords, it might not be a good idea to burn myself if i don’t personally want to be burned; but it would not be objectively “wrong” to burn myself or others.
There is a clear difference between what we desire and what is wrong. Even if the two compliment eachother in truth, it is only by coincidence; and not because pain gives us the truth about life.