I was raised Catholic, and so were most of my friends. Unfortunately, not many of them are truly practicing Catholics.
I was one of those. Somehow I made it through my childhood thinking that nobody really believed what they were saying about the teachings of the Church. I never said it like that to myself, which is too bad because if I had I would have realized that it was absurd.
I was blessed by God with a strong faith. I don’t always feel I can express my beliefs well to others, but I STRONGLY believe in all the faith teaches. I have a group of friends that are Catholic but have negative opinions on the faith they attest to be apart of.
That is something I have never been able to understand, and I may never be able to understand it. If people don’t believe what the Church teaches, why do they consider themselves Catholic? I doubt it is for the same reason that the Church considers them Catholic (the sacramental reason).
The closest I can get is that some people look on Catholicism the way some people look at Judaism–it is a racial/national thing rather than a religious thing. Like they would be less Irish or Italian or Polish if they didn’t call themselves Catholic. I wish we could teach
that to children–that being Catholic is a matter of a relationship with God, reception of the sacraments, and doctrinal belief, not something you inherit genetically.
For example, last week @ dinner some of my friends said they never heard of a Catechism! These friends were raised in a Catholic home, and attended Catholic schools from kindergarten to college.
Well, you know, it may be true. I went through school before the new catechism came out, but I never heard of the Baltimore Catechism until I was an adult even though my parents can still recite parts of it. Anyway, if it’s true, it’s probably not your friends’ fault, either. They would probably all be surprised at the grace and love expressed in the Catechism as part of the correct teachings of the Church.
Others thought the Catechism was a radical book written by any chosen bishop, and that it’s not an official teaching of the church. My one friend kept saying the Catechism is NOT “ordained” or “sanctioned” by the Church. Other people were comparing people who follow the Catechism to radical jihadists.
I have some friends from college that are atheists and know my religious beliefs. Fortunately for me, they also have some manners and wouldn’t dream of saying such a thing in my presence even if they believed it. I mean, I don’t tell them they’re going to Hell (although since they have been friends for a long time, they know that I pray for them) or that homosexual behavior is inherently disordered, and they don’t call me a fascist or a jihadist. In fact, we don’t call each other names at all. Sometimes their other friends that I meet at their house are less tactful. In that case, I just calmly say something like, “you know, I’m a practicing Catholic myself, and I haven’t had to turn my brain off,” or whatever.
I think it’s fair for you to go as far as mentioning to your friends that you and your husband are members of the group of people that they are being so mean about. However if they are looking for a fight, you might add something like, “I don’t think it would be useful to discuss it right now. That way, we can all avoid saying things that might be hurtful.”
Sometimes my friends’ other friends have honest questions about Catholicism that I can answer, which is like a gift from God for me. Like once someone thought that the (current) Pope had said something that meant that only Catholics go to Heaven and I could explain that saying all who are saved are saved
through the Church, is not the same as saying that only acknowledged members of the Church can be saved.
I felt like I was being attacked, luckily I had my husband at my side who could defend our faith. However, it didn’t matter because they wanted to believe what they wanted to believe. Any thoughts? I see this group of people every couple of months, and I’m sure this subject will come up again.
Well, it sounds like what you should do depends on what percentage of the time you are with them is spent in this manner. I mean, if it comes up every time you see them, and they go on about it, I think you probably should (as another poster suggested) just tell them that you can’t see them any more, and tell them why. OTOH, if it only comes up occasionally, it should be enough to make it clear that when they are being uncharitable toward faithful Catholics, that group includes yourself and your husband. If not, you might either ask specifically that they discuss it when you are not around, or else ask them why they keep bringing it up. It’s possible that (very) deep down, one or more of them wants to be convinced that Catholicism is actually true. They almost certainly won’t say that, even if they know it (which they probably don’t) but asking the question might start a train of thought in them that might bear fruit someday.
Anyway, may the Holy Spirit guide your words and actions, come what may!
–Jen
P.S. about the Catechism not being official, the following is from the Apostolic Letter Laetamur Magnopere (15 Aug 1997), written by Pope John Paul II, which is provided in the edition of the Catechism that I have:
“It is a cause for great joy that the Latin Typical Edition of the Catechism of the Catholic Church is being published. It is approved and promulgated by me in this Apostolic Letter and thus becomes the definitive text of the aforementioned Catechism.”
I’m not sure how it could be more official than that, unless you want to include that the Imprimi Potest was provided by our current Pope, then Cardinal Ratzinger.
PLEASE teach your children the faith; if somebody else is in charge, make sure they know their stuff! 