Swearing and Cursing Question

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I have a brother who swears and says obscene things every single day. He is 23. He knows that it annoys me. I’ve tried talking with him, ignoring him, etc. but nothing works. I’m wondering how the Church views this and what does it mean? I know that maybe when we get very angry we might let a few words slip, but he blurts them out for no reason and thinks it’s funny.
Sometimes he’s listening to music with headphones on and many times he’ll sing the swear words or obscene things out loud but not the rest of the song. It’s a bad influence on my younger brothers too. Sometimes I feel like just like putting Holy Water on him, because as far as I see it only he and the devil are getting a kick out of it. He doesn’t go to Mass. He also directs them at me and my brothers many times like he’ll say “F u” to me for no real good reason. He acts like a child who discovered what bad words are and repeats them because he thinks it’s funny. It annoys and depresses me at the same time.

Our priest is going to have these two special priests from Mexico for a special healing retreat both physically and spiritually. He says that we shouldn’t expect miracles, but they do occur. It will be on Saturday and Sunday. I really wish he would go.
 
He is an adult, and makes his own choices.

If it offends you, there is but one weapon you have against which he has no defense – once having stated your position, then become completely indifferent to the word choices.

This may sound easier to say than do, but it isn’t so bad if you get over the fact that your brother is neither good nor bad like the rest of us, but some mixture thereof.

If you want to press the issue, less is more. Bear with him patiently, but every now and then maybe a little wince, or quick glance away from him during a conversation can speak more than any verbalization. He will see that you are being patient and kind with him, and that he is hurting you. At that point things just might change.

Remember the strategy. In faith you can completely not worry about his soul, as God has a plan for him. Second best is to try to help him see what he is doing – not by telling him, but by demonstrating to him what damage he is doing to you and possibly others without making it appear as if you are doing it on purpose but our of sheer instinct.

That is neither tricky nor deceptive, as your patience if perfected will reflect on his sins 100% so even if you don’t try to show it overtly, if you honestly convince yourself you have no chance in this matter and give it to God, He will see that your very patience in the light of his “swinging around his weapons” as it were, is communicated to him if, when, and where it needs to be.

Such is our faith, and I believe it can come to pass without another word about it from you. Then again, I’m often accused of being an idealist, but gosh I can hope, can’t I? Worked for St. Monica.

Alan
 
Oh yeah, about the “FU” thing. (Suddenly remembering the movie the Odd Couple where Oscar found out that FU at the bottom of the notes he found on his bed meant “Felix Ungar”)

I’ve actually looked into this. It is very strange, as this term supposedly came from a German verb “to strike.”

Strange thing that this term is used to mean make love, or to dismiss and kill. It is a powerful word with so many complicated images attached that its meaning is practically unique to each individual. When I first was treated to a particular song by a friend on his CD with f-word galore, I was shocked even though I thought I’d heard it all it was children voices singing about uncle- umm, yeah. It took a long time, but I found there seems to be entire cultural segments that use this word with abandon to mean any number of things, such that the context must be known in order, really, to discern any meaning at all from this sequence of phonemes uttered with passion. He is 23 which is exactly half my age. At that age, I didn’t know much about the F-word because frankly I had very little exposure thereto, but I was entirely of the mindset then that in today’s environment I might have been the same way.

Here’s hoping he’ll grow out of it. God willing he will live many years to have ample time to get it right! (with both you and God) 👍

Alan
 
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AlanFromWichita:
Oh yeah, about the “FU” thing. (Suddenly remembering the movie the Odd Couple where Oscar found out that FU at the bottom of the notes he found on his bed meant “Felix Ungar”)

I’ve actually looked into this. It is very strange, as this term supposedly came from a German verb “to strike.”

Strange thing that this term is used to mean make love, or to dismiss and kill. It is a powerful word with so many complicated images attached that its meaning is practically unique to each individual. When I first was treated to a particular song by a friend on his CD with f-word galore, I was shocked even though I thought I’d heard it all it was children voices singing about uncle- umm, yeah. It took a long time, but I found there seems to be entire cultural segments that use this word with abandon to mean any number of things, such that the context must be known in order, really, to discern any meaning at all from this sequence of phonemes uttered with passion. He is 23 which is exactly half my age. At that age, I didn’t know much about the F-word because frankly I had very little exposure thereto, but I was entirely of the mindset then that in today’s environment I might have been the same way.

Here’s hoping he’ll grow out of it. God willing he will live many years to have ample time to get it right! (with both you and God) 👍

Alan
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Curious about which german verb you mean. Schlagen is the German verb for “to strike” (meaning hit).
 
if your brother talks that way at work he is liable to be slapped with a sexual harrassment lawsuit, so he had better clean up his act, unless his job is being a rapper, and performing where people pay to be insulted and degraded. Let him know firmly and without backing down that you will not tolerate the insult.

There is also a possibility that he may have a disorder that compels him to say inappropriate things, in which case he should seek treatment.
 
No he doesn’t really talk like that at work. People who don’t know him usually think he’s a nice person. Thanks Puzzleannie for your advice. I guess I’ll just have to keep on being patient and I like the “silent” ways I can communicate how he offends me. Next time I will look away if he uses those words. Hopefully he’ll stop that one day.
 
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thistle:
Curious about which german verb you mean. Schlagen is the German verb for “to strike” (meaning hit).
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Hmmm. I appreciate the correction. I thought I actually knew this, but maybe not. :o Right offhand I’m not sure. :confused:

It was like [attempt to curse in a foreign language] or something, but I just tried those on an online translator and they weren’t found.

If I find out the right word I will let you know; until then please consider my assertion suspect. :hmmm:

Regards,
Alan
 
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AlanFromWichita:
Hmmm. I appreciate the correction. I thought I actually knew this, but maybe not. :o Right offhand I’m not sure. :confused:

It was like [attempt to curse in a foreign language] or something, but I just tried those on an online translator and they weren’t found.

If I find out the right word I will let you know; until then please consider my assertion suspect. :hmmm:

Regards,
Alan
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I’m not sure if the moderator will allow me to write the word even in German [no, she will not] but the word you wrote which I have highlighted …attempt to circuitously curse in a foreign language]
 
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thistle:
I’m not sure if the moderator will allow me to write the word even in German [no, she will not] but the word you wrote which I have highlighted …attempt to circuitously curse in a foreign language]
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Thank you again. That’s close enough for the purposes of this thread. It need not stray further. :nope:

Alan
 
Hmm, I thought that particular word derived from a medieval English legal acronym derived from the phrase “for unlawful carnal knowledge,” but that may be a product of folk etymology. I wonder what that phrase would be in Latin?
 
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Lapsed:
Hmm, I thought that particular word derived from a medieval English legal acronym derived from the phrase “for unlawful carnal knowledge,” but that may be a product of folk etymology. I wonder what that phrase would be in Latin?
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As I am sure many a teenager does as well. However, I don’t want to teach those young at heart or young in years how to swear one of the most graphically obscene phrases we have in the English language how to do so in every other language on the planet as well.

As it appears the OP has obtained the advice sought out, I am closing this thread.

Thanks to all who participated.
 
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