Switching parishes...but not without a lot of heartache

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lovedance4ever: You express a great deal of concern with how people treat you at that church, but you also expressed disdain for them showing up for Mass in “beach clothes”. To me “beach clothes” is a pair of swim trunks with no shirt and shoes. I doubt folks are showing up for Mass like that. Anyway you seem to have established a “me vs them” paradigm. You are reverent. They are not. You dress correctly. They do not., etc. It is possible you have telegraphed this disdain in some way, and this could be the root of the ostracism. While you may be better suited in a more conservative parish in some ways, this would come from a “what can I get?” mentality rather than a “what can I give?” mentality.

Could your current parish be your “cross to bear”?
Are we not called to love all people as-is and where-is, casual clothes and all?
Could you experience spiritual growth in loving and showing kindness without judgment to the people in your current church?

Saint Paul says to be not a stumbling block when our brothers’ customs differ somewhat from ours. They are there to worship the Lord just as you are. Praise God they show up! You may see them as irreverent and therefore worshiping incorrectly.They may see you as overly pious and therefore worshiping incorrectly. Division, division. NO! We are not to judge people according to such divisiveness. God bless all of you just as you are.

Glory be to The Father,
The Son,
and The Holy Spirit,
as it was in the beginning,
is now,
and ever shall be,
world without end, Amen.
 
LongingSoul said:
Many many years ago when my kids were little (they’re 18 to 23 now), I realised some people were ticked off because my children were fidgety and hard to keep still even though we always tried to sit in the back seat… so we stopped bringing them and my husband and I attended different Masses. Well one early Sunday morning I was chastised (nicely enough) ***from the altar ***by our Priest for not bringing the kids to Mass. He had baptised all the kids and new us quite well.

(My children were all diagnosed with autistic spectrum disorder eventally)
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At one Mass I attended a family with kids decided to sit in the pew right in front of me. My first inclination was to find another spot in church but I decided what they heck. Two of the kids brought their religion coloring books, and when I saw this, I realized that the kids probably had a better grasp of theology than I did. 🙂
 
Neofight said:
This might be off topic, but the OP mentioned something at parishes that I don’t quite understand, even though I realize its a cold, hard fact …it’s the part about choirs (or ministries of various types, or individuals and families) taking a “summer break” from church and parish activities.🤷
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CCE takes a break. Even our priest takes his vacation in the summer. We do not do a “break”, but then we are informal. Realistically, we have less participation.

I think change can be a good thing. As far as the guy is concerned, if you like the other parish, invite him to go with you sometime.
 
Deus_tecum said:
Could your current parish be your “cross to bear”?
Are we not called to love all people as-is and where-is, casual clothes and all?
Could you experience spiritual growth in loving and showing kindness without judgment to the people in your current church?
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I think Deus Tecum makes an excellent point.

There are times when a parish change is necessary. However, I’ve never been a fan of “parish shopping” (or “parish hopping”). As I see it, we modern-day lay Catholics are called by God to evangelize the world from within, starting with our immediate circumstances: our home, our friends, our workplace, our children’s school, and – yes – our parish. And evangelizing from within is best effected not through criticism, condemnation, or abandonment, but though charity and understanding. By walking a way from a parish we don’t “like,” we’re walking away from a chance to evangelize and transform in Christ.

One final point. I’ll admit there are times I’ve rolled my eyes at what some people wear to Mass these days. But I immediately stop myself with this thought: at least they’re there!
 
“However, I’ve never been a fan of “parish shopping” (or “parish hopping”). As I see it, we modern-day lay Catholics are called by God to evangelize the world from within, starting with our immediate circumstances: our home, our friends, our workplace, our children’s school, and – yes – our parish. And evangelizing from within is best effected not through criticism, condemnation, or abandonment, but though charity and understanding.”

I think the OP is not particularly well suited for that mission. She’s 19, an introvert, has a difficult home environment, and is a bit socially naive. I think she would be advised to switch to the new parish, make some friends, mature, learn a few social wiles, and only then try to implement your suggestion. As it is, it sounds like she has already rubbed people the wrong way at her old parish, so I think further efforts would be counter-productive.
 
Xantippe said:
I think the OP is not particularly well suited for that mission. She’s 19, an introvert, has a difficult home environment, and is a bit socially naive. I think she would be advised to switch to the new parish, make some friends, mature, learn a few social wiles, and only then try to implement your suggestion. As it is, it sounds like she has already rubbed people the wrong way at her old parish, so I think further efforts would be counter-productive.
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I think you’re entirely correct there. Very insightful.
 
Where I live, it’s not uncommon for people to attend Mass at other than the “most local” parish. This may be for all manner of reasons - more convenient Mass times, a preference for the priest/homilies, a better community spirit, whatever. This is generally regarded as a “no biggie”. So I struggle to understand why* that aspect *is such a big issue for you. I would hope that if you’re asked why you moved, and you gave your calm, considered and personal explanation, your friends and family would accept that and get on with life!

How would it be if you moved across town? Presumably no one would bat an eye-lid at you then adopting the new local parish?
 
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