Taking a Camera to a Funeral?

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First of all, please keep my dh’s family in your prayers. About 4 months ago, one of his aunts passed away. She was a sister (nun) from Arizona. This past Saturday another of his aunts has passed away. These 2 ladies are my father in law’s sisters. This one had a kidney transplant and her body rejected it. Her own daughter donated the kidney. We are getting ready to go to the rosary and funeral is tomorrow.
This is my question. Is it ok to take my camera to the rosary and possibly take pictures before the rosary or even after the rosary? And what about tomorrow at the funeral? Thank you.
 
What kind of pictures are you planning on taking? If you want a picture of a family member(s) who you seldom see, you could tell them so and ask if you could take a picture away from the wake or funeral. I don’t see any harm in that. I don’t think it would be appropriate to take pictures of the deceased, the casket or people who are paying their last respects.
 
Great question. I have a relative who takes pictures of every dead body in our family. No one really knows why, but the saying goes that “the funeral’s not over until (relative’s name) takes the picture.” Most recently, an aunt of ours died and her children and grandchildren all took turns getting photos taken next to the open casket. Sort of creeps me out, but heck, it was their mom.

I guess whatever is tradition in your dh’s family would be accepted. Have you asked him what he thinks? Taking pictures at the luncheon would probably be more accepted than taking pictures at the service.
 
at the funeral home there is probably no problem as long as you are respectful of the wishes of the next of kin. MIL has pictures of everyone who died in her family in their coffin, must be an Irish thing.
at the church, ask the deacon or usher what are the rules. You may not take pictures or videos during Mass without specific permission from the celebrant, and only when and where you are instructed. Such permission should be extremely limited and never never during the consecration.
 
My family has for many years had a tradition of photographing the dearly departed in the coffin and the flowers, etc. surrounding him/her.

This custom horrifies some and bemuses others, while many nod and say “oh, yes, our family does that too.”

The reason for this custom is very similar to the custom of, “after the funeral, let’s have a party at the bereaved’s house.” Historically, in the U.S. many people had to travel a long distance to attend a funeral and it was only right to feed them before sending them home. Since close family and friends had been bringing hot dishes to the bereaved for the last several days in a show of love and support, there was plenty on hand for the travellers to eat before heading home. Since many people, particularly in our transient society, lived too far away to get to the to a funeral in a timely manner the photos are for those who could not make it but would still like to see with their own eyes that the loved one was honored and respected with flowers and a large attendence at the funeral.
 
I do computer work for a living and I was shocked to see that my boss had pictures from a funeral of one of his relatives. There were pictures of family members but there were also pictures of the deceased laid out in the coffin! I had never heard of anyone doing this but apparently nobody else was shocked. We live in the midwest and the funeral was in NY where he is from… probably took pictures because he doesn’t get home enough…
 
When my mother-in-law passed away her sister took photos to send back to family in Poland. I guess that this was a way for them to grieve when they could not come to pay their respects.

Personally, I don’t like to remember them that way but I respect the customs of others as long as it is done with love.
 
Thank you. No, I wouln’t take pictures of the coffin, our beloved aunt, or anything like that. :eek: I’ve seen people take pics and I was shocked. I would like to take pictures after the funeral when we are all together but especially of my FIL with his siblings, etc. Thanks again.
 
I took photos at my grandfather’s memorial service. He was creamated before hand. We only had photos and things from his life displayed, like his Navy uniform and medals, high school year books, childhood clothing, and photos of when when he and my grandmother met and were married. It was such a beautiful display on two huge tables. Everything was so beautifully displayed, it was like an exhibit from a museum! 😃 So I took photos of the displays before people arrived. I did not take photos of any people that day - we were all far too sad. Though the service was video taped by the funeral home. It was not religious at all, it was a series of eulogies by all the grand children and friends, and we played salsa music at the end as everyone was leaving. Grandpa would have LOVED it!!! 😃 Then we went back to my aunt’s house for a huge meal. I didn’t take photos there either.

The custom of photographing people in their coffin goes back to the invention of the camera - I think it has just faded away in my circles and is now viewed by some as morbid. I think that if a family is comfortable with it, I see no problem with the custom.

~Liza
 
When my brother died my mom took plenty of pictures of him in his casket. Other relatives did too. I’ve only looked at them once. Last year, my mom found a roll of film that hadn’t been developed so she had them developed and at the beginning of the roll was the family doing stuff and a few of my brother and at the end of the roll was the casket pictures. :nope:

When I saw those pictures, I kept remembering my mom laying across him in the casket sobbing. That was by far the worst day of my life.
  • and on that note, I spill an entire glass of water in my keyboard. It still works 👍
 
Thanks again everyone. The rosary was beautiful, very moving. The funeral was just as beautiful. She was a very loved lady. We all called her nana even though she was dh’s aunt. I met her as “aunt nana” didn’t even know her real name till yesterday. Dh’s cousin is a priest (Father Paul) from El Paso, Tx and he presided over the mass and funeral.
We took pics after the funeral when we all gathered to eat.
 
Actually I grew up in the deep south, that is common there and no big deal, in fact many see it as the norm. I suspect it may have something to do with the culture. During victorian times it was common to take pics of the dead laid out and posed as if they were still alive.

I have seen quite a few of those old black and white photos from the south. Some were absolutly beautiful, it seemed like they were sleeping. The most poignet to me were the ones of grieving parents holding their stillborn infants in their christening gowns. My sister in law gave birth prematurely to a little girl, she lived about 2 minutes, we dressed her and took a photo together, to remember her and show her future siblings what she looked like. After seeing how poor some of the people in the victorian photos appeared to be I realized that photos may have been a luxery that they could not afford in that day and age, this may have been the first family photo for some and the only way left to them to remember their loved ones.

It is not creepy or gross to me. The body is nothing more than a container for the soul. I kissed and hugged my relatives while living, while their souls were in the same body, why should I be sickened by seeing the same body in a photo? And many who can not make it to a funeral have a hard time accepting death. Seeing is believeing for some. I respect others feelings though, but to many it really is no big deal.
 
When my mother died many people did this at her funeral. I know it’s normal in many areas/families including mine and my father did not mind.
I however told my dh that if anyone takes a picture of me laid out in my coffin I fully expect him to prepare another coffin for them.
I hated everything about it. It was an issue of being sickening to me. I have no issue with touching a dead body for example. To me, it’s just disrespectfull and morbid. I know my mother would not want everyone’s last picture of her to be what she looked like after 4 months of cancer treatments and in a coffin. (What woman would!?) Death does not bother me. Funerals do not bother me. The dead body does not bother me.
But I can’t picture anyone who isn’t a crime scene investigator or a serial killer wanting to keep pictures of dead bodies. It just does not seem healthy to me.😦 Obviously others don’t feel this way, but I hope they are respectful of others who do at these occassions. The actual funeral is NOT the time to try to nudge people out of your way for a better shot or taking pictures of others leaning over the body giving their last farwell in the procession either. There are viewing times before the funeral when one can request a moment alone for this.
**The only thing that made me more sick was finding out 2 weeks later that my sister stole our mother’s wedding ring out off her dead hand. It was the only thing she had asked to be buried with. I wish I could say my sister had surprised me.:mad: **
 
Auriel said:
Actually I grew up in the deep south, that is common there and no big deal, in fact many see it as the norm. I suspect it may have something to do with the culture. During victorian times it was common to take pics of the dead laid out and posed as if they were still alive.

I have seen quite a few of those old black and white photos from the south. Some were absolutly beautiful, it seemed like they were sleeping. The most poignet to me were the ones of grieving parents holding their stillborn infants in their christening gowns. My sister in law gave birth prematurely to a little girl, she lived about 2 minutes, we dressed her and took a photo together, to remember her and show her future siblings what she looked like. After seeing how poor some of the people in the victorian photos appeared to be I realized that photos may have been a luxery that they could not afford in that day and age, this may have been the first family photo for some and the only way left to them to remember their loved ones.

It is not creepy or gross to me. The body is nothing more than a container for the soul. I kissed and hugged my relatives while living, while their souls were in the same body, why should I be sickened by seeing the same body in a photo? And many who can not make it to a funeral have a hard time accepting death. Seeing is believeing for some. I respect others feelings though, but to many it really is no big deal.
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Even though I don’t recommend taking pictures of the dead, I do wish we had a picture of our first daughter who lived only a few days. The hospital did not take any pictures because she was so sick and at that time it never occured to me to do so.
 
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