Taking Confession for Granted

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Hi CAF,

I’ve been struggling a lot with this problem lately, and that problem is taking the sacrament of reconciliation for granted.

I attend mass daily and try go to confession on Saturdays, and a recurring problem for me, especially as a high school junior this fall, is the sexual sins, namely masturbation and pornography. The fact is that I try to be a great Catholic and all, but these things are holding me back, especially because they are mortal sins. The biggest reason I commit these sins, I think, is that a lot of the time I take confession for granted. When the temptation arises, I always think, “Hey, I can just go to confession this weekend and everything will be cool.” Of course, this is wrong, but I always feel like this problem, along with the temptation of lust, is what leads me to masturbation and pornography.

Any suggestions?
 
If your problem is that you fall into this sin early in the week and then you think, “Well, I have to go to confession anyway so I might as well do it again because it’s no more embarrassing to confess I did it five times than to say one time.” you have a repentance problem.

Do you really think this is wrong? Do you want to stop it (or at least want to want to stop it). Do you immediately ask God for forgiveness each time, because you have misused his gift of sex and you’re sorry for offending Him? Do you make plans after every time about how to avoid this temptation or how to fight it when it happens the next time.

If you are doing all of the above, then you’re not taking confession for granted. If not, try some or all of these things. Especially read some of the books suggested on the forums. You have to convince yourself that, even though this sin is ‘normal’ it is really wrong and against God’s will. When you are finally chaste, you will feel so free that it will be worth it even though it’s difficult.

You have an advantage because you attend daily mass. Doesn’t it hurt you when you can’t receive communion because you’re in mortal sin? Ask Jesus to give you a strong faith in the Eucharist. This is the great sacrament of His love and He wants to be united to you and pour out His grace on you every day. The days you can’t receive Him let yourself feel very sorry about that and let that sorrow help you to fight off the temptation next time.

If you can do some of this, I don’t think you would take confession for granted; you would just be very happy you can go to it.

Taking confession for granted and assuming that you will live until Saturday and that God will again give you the grace to go to confession is a sin of presumption. You should be sorry for that and confess it too.

What if, after every time you sin, you got to mass early and asked the priest to hear your confession? That might indeed help you. Just imagining the look on the priest’s face to see you standing there yet again could make you think twice. I know some religious brothers who are in formation and they go to confession every day to their chaplain. I bet that gets them holy real fast, even if just from embarrassment. I don’t know if this is something you could do but you did say you go to daily mass…
 
Just a thought.

Daily Mass and frequent confession. Excellent! Make sure you maintain a presence of God during the day as well. Short aspirations, morning offering, the Rosary, mental prayer, reading 5minutes of the Gospel daily.

Also: What about the occasions that lead to these sins? Do you close your door at night? Do you let your eyes linger a bit too long when seeing the opposite sex. Do you not pray a very brief prayer when tempting sights pass in front of your eyes (Lord, why are women so beautiful, I am such a helpless child without You).

Such sights and things can build up over the day. But ask God to be part of them. Pray and struggle with Him.

What gives you the privacy with which you commit these sins? Closed doors? Computer facing the walls? Too much time. Too much focus on self. etc.

Examine such “approaches” and pathways. Can they be rearranged? Sleep with a rosary around your neck or in your hand.

Fall asleep talking with Mary. “Mary please do not leave me alone…Help me”.
 
I definitely want this sin to stop, but of course I don’t think of that when it occurs. I went to confession last Tuesday and have thankfully not committed the sin since, and have done multiple things to guard myself against it; chaplets, rosary, liturgy of the hours, adoration, daily mass, and thankfully all these things are helping. The problem was that I always said that, “Hey, I’m going to go to confession anyways…”, but this is sin of presumption as you pointed out.
 
kOLOL303 said:
I definitely want this sin to stop, but of course I don’t think of that when it occurs. I went to confession last Tuesday and have thankfully not committed the sin since, and have done multiple things to guard myself against it; chaplets, rosary, liturgy of the hours, adoration, daily mass, and thankfully all these things are helping. The problem was that I always said that, “Hey, I’m going to go to confession anyways…”, but this is sin of presumption as you pointed out.
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Thanks for sharing that with us, it’s so good to hear. This is such a difficult sin to get free of and even when you get there every now and then a temptation seems to come out of nowhere, especially when you’re getting closer to God. Thank God for confession for sure, eh?
 
kOLOL303 said:
I definitely want this sin to stop, but of course I don’t think of that when it occurs.
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Set a goal of being able to say a lower number each time you go to Confession. For example, if last week you had to say “five times” make it your goal this week to say “four times” and next week, to say “three times” until finally, in a month or so, you can say to Father, “I have nothing to confess this week, but a sin of my past that I am sorry for is …” and then see how many weeks you can keep that up. 🙂
 
When I was tryig to get through these sins, I realized one day and said to myself-“if I do this I am really hurting God–do I wan’t to do that?”. Kind of cured me of the habit–wasn’t easy, but definitley glad i did. i will be praying for you!
 
Keep going to confession, otherwise your strength against temptation will become even weaker and your faith might get colder. Believe someone that knows 🙂
 
I have thought about this as well, that is the availability of confession being a temptation to sin. But in my meditation on this I have found three reasons why such a position is very fool hearty.

First, we do not know the time of our death. If we sin in the night, knowing that confession is at 7am in the morning, how do we know we will be alive at 7am in the morning, since we do not know the time our souls will be called before our JUDGE.

Second, only satan is clever enough to use the sacraments against the Church and Her believers, us. To convince us to sin, as satan convinced Adam & Eve to sin, because - don’t worry confession is just a few days or hours away. The father of lies will not tell you that perhaps your death is minutes away.

Third, Francis de Sales has some good meditations on confession and he states that “the affection for sin” needs to be dealt with very strongly, as does the action of the sin. Our desire to even “consider sinning” is the affection we hold for whatever the sin is we wish to do. By holding the affection for sin close, we will always wish to be sinning, so in fact we are sinning through our desire. We must ask GOD for the strength to break from the “affection of the sin” that binds us.
 
The parable of the ten virgins may be helpful. For me, the parables of Jesus say everything because I’m not too good with explaining things but I have the right idea in my head.

We need to live our lives in such a way that we are always ready for the Lord’s return or for the end of our lives.
 
Julian0404 said:
I have thought about this as well, that is the availability of confession being a temptation to sin. But in my meditation on this I have found three reasons why such a position is very fool hearty.

First, we do not know the time of our death. If we sin in the night, knowing that confession is at 7am in the morning, how do we know we will be alive at 7am in the morning, since we do not know the time our souls will be called before our JUDGE.

Second, only satan is clever enough to use the sacraments against the Church and Her believers, us. To convince us to sin, as satan convinced Adam & Eve to sin, because - don’t worry confession is just a few days or hours away. The father of lies will not tell you that perhaps your death is minutes away.

Third, Francis de Sales has some good meditations on confession and he states that “the affection for sin” needs to be dealt with very strongly, as does the action of the sin. Our desire to even “consider sinning” is the affection we hold for whatever the sin is we wish to do. By holding the affection for sin close, we will always wish to be sinning, so in fact we are sinning through our desire. We must ask GOD for the strength to break from the “affection of the sin” that binds us.
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There is also the aspect that the acts of sin themselves bring death closer to us - those who live to be old get to be old because they avoided sin in their youth. When we sin against our own body or our own mind, we shorten the amount of time that we have to spend on this earth, because we are damaging ourselves. It also has the effect of hardening our hearts, making it less likely that we would be sorry for our sins, and repent of them. Repetition has the effect of normalizing sin, and making it seem like, “Oh, well - how bad could it really be?”
 
You need to work on the “Firm Purpose of Amendment”. You have to TRY as hard as possible not to commit the sins. This may take thought control - without the illicit thoughts, the urge won’t be there. Remember that every time you commit a mortal sin, you put Jesus back on the Cross again. That really stops me from even considering it.
 
  1. To sin because one assumes, “oh, God will forgive me for this anyone” is an additional sin, presumption. You must confess the sin of presumption, which means you have to resolve not to do that any longer either.
  2. Set your mind on the heavenly things. Either your mind will be filled with heaven or hell. Take your pick. What we meditate on bears fruit in our actions and forms our character. If we set our minds on heavenly things, we are formed into the image of Jesus Christ. If we don’t, then we slide imperceptibly into self-centered, egoistic ways of life.
Spend time every day in prayer. How else will you win the grace to stay out of sin? Not by your own effort. I recommend praying the rosary every day, no matter what. Only prayer will conquer sin.

By the way, you need to cast off the sin. Stop desiring it or wishing you could have it. A poster above reference St. Francis de Sales on the spiritual life. It’s only natural that if you long after these sins that you’ll fall back into them any chance you get. Pray to God to stop even desiring these sins, and bend your whole force of you will to learn to hate these sins, with the grace of God. This is a war for your soul, not an afternoon tea party. The consequences are eternal, not piddling and temporary. Remember, O Christian, your dignity.

And let me repeat again. Only if you spend a lot of time with God will these faults be healed. Start with a rosary a day. Try to spend a full half hour every day in meditative prayer. Do this. Keep doing this. Never cease from this until you die. Pray, pray, pray. When you can’t pray any more, keep praying and pray some more.

God bless,
Rob
 
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