Talkative Family

[Tous_Logous]

I recently got a contract job and really only immediate family members know where/what I’m working. However, I have one family member who just won’t stop telling people where I work and what I’m doing; it’s written in the contract that I need to keep my position quiet and that I am really not supposed to tell anyone which company I am working for. The client does not want to make themselves known and apparently if other agencies find out where I’m working, they could try to find someone else to fill my position.

I explained this to my family member and he just keeps telling people. It would be one thing if he just told them I was doing a contract job, but he is telling people exactly where I’m working. I know this for a fact because I am getting congratulatory emails from people he works with the exact client company’s name. Chances are, nothing bad will happen to me. But at the same time, I can’t risk being terminated because one individual can’t keep his mouth quiet. The whole point of me taking this position was to work full-time and get more job experience, despite all the negatives that come with taking this position. I saw this as an opportunity.

I am trying to remain calm but it’s causing me a lot of anxiety. It is also causing me to be aggravated. I even apologized to this individual (why I don’t know, I didn’t do anything remotely wrong other than please asking him to stop telling people where I work). But he says he doesn’t want to talk to me anymore. This is all very confusing for me. He is taking out his anger on me for no reason and I’m not quite sure how to approach this. I will not be seeing him for another 3 days due to my work schedule and I doubt I’ll get a return phone call, so it’s just aggravating. I’m trying to enjoy my week but so far I’m not.

I’m not sure if anyone has advice or is in a similar situation, but this is just getting too hard to deal with. I have another individual in my family who is also not understanding my contract issues, though she isn’t going around telling anyone where I’m working. I have 2 family members who just don’t get it.

 

[SuscipeMeDomine]

In short, if you want to keep something a secret then don’t share it with others. Once you tell someone else, you can’t control what they will do with the information.

Next time, leave your job news at something like “I got a contract job and I’m very happy about it.” You don’t need to provide additional information, especially if you are supposed to keep that information quiet.

 

[shainski]

Do these family members understand why you would like it kept quiet? I certainly can understand why you might share information with family - and have no reason to expect that it will get out - so you don’t guard against it - and then be surprised by how quickly information can disseminate.

If you have explained your reasons, and they don’t comply, then I can’t think of anything you can do for this situation. And now that the cat is out of the bag - even if you convinced these family members to not talk about it anymore - enough other people know that you can no longer expect this to be a secret among your family/friends. Hopefully that is a small enough group to not jeopardize your work.

However, you should know in the future that these members should not be trusted with any information that you don’t want to be publicly broadcast - and that would include any others who have these two as confidantes. (I know that doesn’t help you right now)

 

[Tous_Logous]

This technically is my fault. However, I still live at home, so certain people need to know where I am at (especially if there is an emergency). I also drive somebody else’s car to work, meaning that individual is placing his car in my temporary care. In other words, that individual needs to know where and how far I am driving his car to. To me, this would be an important issue to let somebody else “borrow” your car. People I have talked to could care less what I’m working on, it’s more of the fact that I can’t let people know what company I am working at.

I’m not telling every stranger on Earth where I am working, just like 4 or 5 family members I live with. The problem is, one that I usually trusted decided he would go and tell everyone at where I’m working at (that is, using the client’s name). This is my first time doing contract work and I can see why friends I know absolutely hate it: can’t tell other employers what past positions you’ve had, can’t really put down your contract work on a resume, no health insurance, etc.

 

[shainski]

You are not alone, many jobs require confidentiality, doctors, nurses, police officers, attorneys, investment bankers, psychiatrists, teachers, counselors…

While I agree with you that many jobs require confidentiality about things learned on the job - I think this is different.

He isn’t even allowed to tell where he works or for whom. I think that makes it unusual (not unheard of, but unusual).

ABC Company doesn’t want anyone to know it contracts with XYZ consultants for whatever reason.

So for you to go home and tell you dad - “Dad, guess what, I have been placed with ABC Company close to you downtown - maybe we can catch lunch sometime”. That seems to be to be very different than : “Dad, you won’t believe that our neighbor has cancer.” or “Bob Smith is being sued for …”

 

[dshix]

The best you can do, OP, is just weather the storm and make it absolutely clear to the family member who is telling the world about your work that he will never be trusted again with personal information unless he manages to regain your confidence.

 

[coachdennis]

The best you can do, OP, is just weather the storm and make it absolutely clear to the family member who is telling the world about your work that he will never be trusted again with personal information unless he manages to regain your confidence.

And by shooting off his/her mouth he is potentially putting your job and career in jeopardy.

Do not sugar coat with this person. Say it politely but firmly that this person is a person who cannot be trusted with confidential information.

Personally, I would not give this person a “second chance” to prove or disprove their future worthiness of your confidence.