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sheba
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I’ve decided its time to talk to my son about appropriate/inappropriate touching. I need some suggestions on books that deal with this topic. Please let me know! ::
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Didi
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“Beyond the Birds and the Bees” by Gregory Popcack is excellent for parents to read. It explains the Church’s teaching on sexuality and how, at different ages and stages, we can convey this to our children. Very good book.
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AlanFromWichita
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Just today my wife told me our 8-year-old asked her a question.
“Mommy, what would you do if I was gay?”
I never got a straight answer as to what exactly she said. He did tell her, though, “don’t worry, I’m not gay.”
After five older siblings, the little ones still seem to come up with questions we haven’t heard before! As Art Linkletter said, “Kids Say the Darndest Things!”
Alan
“Mommy, what would you do if I was gay?”
I never got a straight answer as to what exactly she said. He did tell her, though, “don’t worry, I’m not gay.”
After five older siblings, the little ones still seem to come up with questions we haven’t heard before! As Art Linkletter said, “Kids Say the Darndest Things!”
Alan
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BlestOne
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Ummm please don’t take offense but why did you wait so long to have this talk? I started with mine when they learned to talk…
1st step when you are teaching them their body parts you always tell them that where ever their bathing suit/underwear covers is private and we don’t show people these.
2nd when they are able to name their parts…ask them what parts are “private” and only mommy, daddy, doctor (and caregiver) should ever see them. Also stress that if anyone asks to see or touches them there that they need to tell you…
Reinforce reiforce reinforce!!!
1st step when you are teaching them their body parts you always tell them that where ever their bathing suit/underwear covers is private and we don’t show people these.
2nd when they are able to name their parts…ask them what parts are “private” and only mommy, daddy, doctor (and caregiver) should ever see them. Also stress that if anyone asks to see or touches them there that they need to tell you…
Reinforce reiforce reinforce!!!
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deb1
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Due to the world around us, I have talked with all of my children about sex at a young age-8 or nine. I have found that with boys the best moment is when they are doing something else-like helping with a project. This makes the atmosphere relaxed. Get something that you can all do as a family-lilke a puzzle-and while you are working on it just begin talking. Answer any questions in as calm a matter as possible. Sometimes kids can come up with odd questions, so be prepared. Pleased be sure to tell him that you can’t tell the good strangers from the bad. Kids often envision evil like the boogy man, but the recent BTK Killer proves that evil can look like our next door neighbor.
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AlanFromWichita
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He was weird. When my SIL lived in Park City (just N of Wichita, where BTK was city employee) she got up in his face one time I guess about his handling of a dog permit or something. I believe she can really get in a face, too; she is very outspoken that way. After that, he would sit out in front of her house in his car and watch her house. I wonder if she might soften her tone a bit now.
Alan
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Celia
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Oh my gosh. That is so scary. Thank goodness she’s ok…He was weird. When my SIL lived in Park City (just N of Wichita, where BTK was city employee) she got up in his face one time I guess about his handling of a dog permit or something. I believe she can really get in a face, too; she is very outspoken that way. After that, he would sit out in front of her house in his car and watch her house. I wonder if she might soften her tone a bit now.
Alan
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Shinobu
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It is up to the parent to decide when they feel their child is ready. Not all children mature or grow at the same rate.
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deb1
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Oh my goodness, how awful. She should have called the police and reported him. Maybe he would have been caught sooner. Think of all the innocent people who that would have saved.He was weird. When my SIL lived in Park City (just N of Wichita, where BTK was city employee) she got up in his face one time I guess about his handling of a dog permit or something. I believe she can really get in a face, too; she is very outspoken that way. After that, he would sit out in front of her house in his car and watch her house. I wonder if she might soften her tone a bit now.
Alan
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DJgang
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BlestOne said:
I agree with this. I already have been talking to my 4 1/2 yo, especially in the bathtub…just saying things like…“that’s YOUR ding ding and no one touches it except you and mommy and daddy only touch it if it hurts and you need the doctor”…stuff like that…I let him wash himself and everything. I found this to be an excellent time to talk to him about that since he is learning to take care of himself more at this age.
And I agree…IMO, never stop talking about it.
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BlestOne
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Exactly DJgang!!! Only I used all correct terms because I wanted them to be able to tell me exactly what hurt or what happened if needed!!!
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AlanFromWichita
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She did, but apparently he had some excuse to be sitting there. He didn’t do it consistently enough for the police to really do anything about it.
He worked for the city, I think first as dogcatcher then some other more clerical offices. From what I gather, many people who had to deal with him thought he was a jerk, but I don’t know what city insiders thought of him. I think they were aware he was not liked, but frankly I don’t even read all the junk about him so I don’t know; I’m tired of seeing his ugly face on the front page every day. Gosh, our police and DA were so worked up they nearly exploded with the information pressure they were hoping to release but than didn’t have to after he confessed! They were all geared up for a big showdown, high enough profile that Nola (DA) might have even taken it herself to clinch her reelection.
I suppose he routinely parked in various places in the city to look for dogs, etc. so a little stalking could be disguised as Reporting for Duty.
Alan
P.S. This is one of the reasons the provisions of the Patriot Act scares me. Even without Patriot Act, though, I’m afraid Big Brother is inevitably getting closer with every year of technological innovation and world terrorism.
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AlanFromWichita
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We used to use a code word. Once they’re older the subject comes up much less often, but we use anything from slang to proper terminology on the occasions we have to make such a reference.
Some people think we should use the correct anatomical words with children because if they ever have to talk to a counselor or testify against someone they will have more credibility. This isn’t a bad suggestion, so we kind of worked in correct terms as we went along.
Alan
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Gwyn
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I have to agree with BlestOne, as I have taken the same approach with DS because of the crazy world we live in. And you have to keep reminding them as well. And of course when he asks questions I always answer keeping his age in mind but give him the truth with the correct words.
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sheba
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Okay, maybe I need to clarify a few things. We have talked about the beauty and dignity and privacy of our childrens’ bodies throughout their lives. Seriously, all I’m looking for from you good people is the name of some books that he and I can look at together–you know, some picture books, etc. Does anyone have any good suggestions on this? Oh, yeah, preferably Catholic in nature.
Thanks, Sheba
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