Talking to my family about becoming Catholic

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MaddieB

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Hi, I hope I’m putting this in the right place, this is my first post, sorry if it’s really long. I’m 16 and for the past 6+ months I have strongly felt myself pulled toward the Catholic Church. For much of that time I denied my feelings because I thought it was just some teenage phase I was going through. However, the more I ignored it the more I felt drawn in. I really want to talk to my family so that I can start going to Mass because I don’t know how to go farther without some sort of guidance from someone.
A bit of background first. My whole family has a Protestant background and I was baptized in a Methodist church. However, my mom has completely let go of her ties to any type of Christianity, as has my older brother. My parents are divorced and my dad is still loosely Methodist, but doesn’t go to church or do anything really except listen to the Christian station on the radio. When I was younger I went to our church with my dad and brother, but as we got older my mom decided to officially said she wasn’t Christian, which lead to my brother starting to hate church and such. Being the younger sister, who didn’t understand anything, I just took my brothers side. Soon after that we stopped going to church. My mom officially left Christianity when she joined a group called the 4th way (similar to Rosicrucian and Masons). My brother is in his 1st year of college, but we are still really close. Whenever he’s home we go out and grab lunch just the two of us and we never really fight. While he’d never admit it to me, our mom has told me that he always checks on me when he talks with her. Things have been tense with my dad lately, mostly due to my mom having gotten remarried in October.
Okay, I want to start off saying that I have looked at other posts about this topic, but I always finish it and feel like their situation was too different from mine. Maybe that’s just me feeling nervous at the thought of talking to my family or looking for some perfect answer to use, though. So, my issues really come from my mom and brother. My mom believes in a greater power, but is adamant that no religion has it right. To keep a long story short, I know that she has seen my YouTube history and therefore has at least some idea that I’m looking into Catholicism. This weekend, after she saw my YouTube history, we drove up to my aunts and she took the majority of the 6 hours talking to me about how Christianity is wrong and the Bible was told in parables that are taken as literal recounts of history. She never officially confronted me, but she brought it up as if it were related to her 4th way stuff. Before that I never thought she had an issue with Christianity outside of the fact that she didn’t believe in it. How do I tell her that not only have I looked into the Catholic faith, but I believe I want to start going to mass and RCIA when next years starts?
Then there’s my brother. He is a die-hard, scientific, 100% convinced atheist. More than worrying about how to tell him, I find myself worried about the wedge it will drive between us. Any encouraging advice?

Thank you so much!
 
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Please do not use your name in a public forum - especially as you are a minor.
 
Sorry I didn’t realize that was a policy on this forum, I can go back and edit it now. Thank you
 
Just some advice for your protection. You never know who’s reading public forums.
 
Of course, that makes sense, I guess I wasn’t really thinking about that.
 
So you’re living with your mom? I’d suggest you contact a local priest and talk about the above. You’re a minor, so we can’t advise you to do anything against the wishes of your parent/s. That you are drawn to Catholicism shows that you are searching. I don’t know anything about your mom’s group, but she seems to be searching for something, too. Keep listening to Catholic radio, read the Bible, and quietly show your family how Catholicism is a positive in your life. Prayers.
 
@Dlee ‘s advice was very good and I don’t have anything to add.

But I will remember you and your dear family in my prayers. It sounds like you’ve all been through a lot.
:pray:t2:
 
You are a minor, your parents have authority over you. You will not be able to attend RCIA without your parents permission nor should you be. We cannot advise you to do anything that goes against your parents.

What you can do is continue to read and study the Catholic faith. If you are able, watch Mass on EWTN. Ask questions here on CAF, just make sure you make it know you are a minor so you don’t get inappropriate responses. Just know less than 1% of posters here on CAF can actually give authoritative answers about Church teaching unless they are quoting canon law or another authority with in the Church. There are several priest who do participate here and they can speak with authority (and they do a great job doing that).

You may also just try to talk to your mom about what you think about Catholicism. You know her better than any of us.

When you are 18 you’ll be able to make your own choice.
 
And, if later on, they do allow you to take RCIA, or some kind of courses, don’t start preaching to your family. I know you’ll be tempted to, and, ultimately, it will be because you want the best for them…but, face it, no one likes being preached at, especially someone who thinks they’ve found the truth. Keep your relationships within your family friendly and age-appropriate, and you’ll be doing the best you can do. For yourself, and for them!
 
@Dlee I understand why you all can’t tell me to do anything against my parents wishes. My parents share custody of me (and my brother when he was a minor). I’m just not too worried about my dads reaction. Maybe I should be more concerned, but for some reason with him I just accept that if he doesn’t like it he doesn’t like it and that’s okay.
 
Thank you all for your thoughtful responses. I understand that I need to listen to my parents whether I like what they say or not. Thank you also for keeping me in your prayers, I’m going through a lot right now religiously, family and with friendships.
I have another question and I’m not sure if I’m supposed to make a new thread or if I can continue with this one. So, I’m going to put it on here, but if you’d rather me make a new thread I can do that.
How far exactly does forgiving others have to go? I’m in a friendship right now that has been pretty toxic for a while. For the past week or so I have been close to reaching my breaking point, but we are in a group project together and I didn’t want the third person to get stuck in the middle. Anyway, suffice to say that today it all kind of exploded. I can get into more detail if you would like to know, but basically I feel like like this isn’t a good friendship to be in. I can forgive her, it might take a little time, but I know I will forgive her. Do I have to forget too? Does forgiving her mean that I have to forget about all the ways and times she has hurt me and disregarded my feelings? Do I have to continue to be her friend? I just can’t forget about the way she sounded today, the only words I can use to describe her tone is venomous, it hurt me a lot more than I care to admit it did.
 
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Forgiveness means you no longer wish for revenge, or for some type of “get even” action. Forgiveness is more for you than her, or any other person you may need to forgive. Forgiving someone does not mean you have to forget. In some instances not having a relationship with a person is the best course of action. You do not have to maintain a friendship with someone who is toxic.
 
You have gotten good advice from everyone, so I will just add this prayer,

Blessed Mother, please intercede for us.
Hold the sorrowful-
Mother and love the weary, abused, neglected
or forgotten among us-
Give your aid to all needing help or healing-
Assist those who are sick, in pain or suffering-
Be with those needing peace-
Console the lonely or brokenhearted-
Comfort the lost or hopeless-
Strengthen the fearful-
Guard the unborn-
Pray for those who are dying or who have died-
Soften those with hardened hearts-
Enlighten those who do not yet see truth-
Help us be brave enough to let our hurt and anger go-
Show us the way to do the right thing-
Protect those who are in danger, and
Guide us from every evil.
May all who keep your sacred commemoration
experience the might of your assistance.
Amen
 
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