Taming someone who gets somewhat angry easily

  • Thread starter Thread starter thearrowkeys
  • Start date Start date
Status
Not open for further replies.
T

thearrowkeys

Guest
I have this issue sometimes with my little brother who gets made over some weird things. As a older brother, I *could *just start beating him real hard, but that wouldn’t be a very christian thing to do. Sometimes I try to beat him with my words by showing how he was wrong and pretty much humiliate him. I found out that pretty much only gets the person madder, unless he is overpowered and cannot act out his anger because he knows he’ll be defeated, but what if this person, is someone older than you, how can you tame this beast without “dishonoring” them nor getting in trouble?
 
Your brother may be easily frustrated and this is his way of dealing with it. My son has a low frustration level and we are trying to teach him to slow down and figure things out. If we get frustrated ourselves, they only see that their anger and actions are justified, because, hey, we get angry too.

Patience is a virtue and a lesson we get to learn every day.
 
Ronnel,
God bless you. I have been reading your postings and I draw this conclusion (correct me if I’m wrong):

You are a teenager struggeling with an angry little brother, your father is not around, and your mom pushes the responsibility of being the man of the house with out the authoirty.

I can only imagine how difficult this is for you. Your brother will not listen to you but you are in charge and will get in trouble if he does not listen.

Hang in there…

Another thing you could do is get your brother involved with a big brother mentoring program, that takes the pressure off you.

What age groups are we talking about for you and your brother?
 
Give him and hug and say, “it’s ok little boy, when you get bigger you’ll understand.”

That always managed to tick my little bros off real good.
 
Can you change the subject, distract him, or walk away from the fight and tell him youll discuss it when he calms down?
 
Sometimes it is best to just stay completely calm yourself and to speak with a soft, soothing voice. This is the opposite of what most people expect and if they can’t get you angry and riled up, they start to feel embarrased by their own behavior and they’ll settle down.

You can even say to him “I understand that you’re angry, but yelling isn’t helping you. When you are ready to settle down and talk, fine. Otherwise I’m just ignoring you.”

If you have the authority to discipline him, send him to his room until he has settled down. Anger and tantrums without an audience will quickly settle down.

I used to work at a home for delinquent boys, and these tactics really worked. In fact, if one boy was acting up to get attention from others, we’d send all the others to their rooms so as to diminish his audience (and make the others mad at him for causing a problem).
 
Never use words like “You always…” or “You never…” It isn’t true that anyone “always” or “never”… So using that phrase just puts people on the defensive.
 
Thanks dhgray, and you have a right conclusion…

my father is at sea right now and sometimes my brother gets angry sometimes easily. He has this habit of being lazy and sometimes we call him tell him to stop being lazy. I guess you guys were right about being patient, me being angry will get things worse :-p.
 
Ronnel Abrigo:
Thanks dhgray, and you have a right conclusion…

my father is at sea right now and sometimes my brother gets angry sometimes easily. He has this habit of being lazy and sometimes we call him tell him to stop being lazy. I guess you guys were right about being patient, me being angry will get things worse :-p.
Click to expand...
First of all, THANK YOU. I had no one to assist my wife when I was overseas (US Army-Retired). You may not feel appreciated, but I know your mom and dad does appreciate all that you do.

As for your brother, apologize to him for anything you have done that hurt him, like yelling or calling him names. Though you may feel there is nothing wrong, he may be harboring ill feelings.

Don’t yell at him, ask for his help. Make him your partner in taking care of mom and the house. Tell him you can’t do it alone and you need him to take some of the chores off your hands because it’s too much.

If asked, “Why dosen’t dad just come home?” Because he can’t. It’s his job and his vocation. Just look at the future for the day when he does come home, and I don’t mean on Liberty or Leave, but when he does come home for good.

Your father needs to know that you and your brother are taking care of things.
 
Well here’s some info:

Me - 14
Rodel - 12
Roel - 11 (The one I am talking about)
Rachielle - 8

We understand that my father is outseas and I feel fortunate, in fact, I appreciate and am thankful for my parents and family because I know many people don’t have these people.

I will include more later.
 
Well, here is another fact; most of my family has Obession Compulsive Disorder (except for father and grandmother (which may have it but I don’t know)). Which has caused us to do weird things and sometimes a weird strict level (depending on what OCD you have).
 
Status
Not open for further replies.
Back
Top