Teaching our children safe sex

[Jay2]

I’m coming into this one late as well.

As the father of a pretty & well-developed 14-1/2yo daughter I’m concerned. Physically she’s 100% woman. Mentally & Emotionally she swings between 6 and 25 (about hourly)!

I knew what a scuzzball I was in HS… and I can still remember the names of the girls that would “put out”. Oh yes, they are out there… every school has them, and trust me… every young man who’s entertained an impure thought knows their name.

I firmly believe that right along side teaching the Church’s obligations… (basically abstinence until marriage), you should also teach what the other options & consequences are. Once they are grown & out of your house they can do whatever they want to… regardless of what you “wish” they would do. This is a fact.

Would you send them out not even knowing about STD’s, fluid to fluid contact, or even how to use a condom and what the use (or NON-use) of these devices could result in?.. Just because you’re uncomfortable about the subject or it goes against your following, putting your head in the sand doesn’t make it go away.

Having this knowledge and the teachings of the Church at your kid’s disposal is that much more “ammo in their clip” and reason to abstain.

 

[whatevergirl]

I’m coming into this one late as well.

As the father of a pretty & well-developed 14-1/2yo daughter I’m concerned. Physically she’s 100% woman. Mentally & Emotionally she swings between 6 and 25 (about hourly)!

I knew what a scuzzball I was in HS… and I can still remember the names of the girls that would “put out”. Oh yes, they are out there… every school has them, and trust me… every young man who’s entertained an impure thought knows their name.

I firmly believe that right along side teaching the Church’s obligations… (basically abstinence until marriage), you should also teach what the other options & consequences are. Once they are grown & out of your house they can do whatever they want to… regardless of what you “wish” they would do. This is a fact.

Would you send them out not even knowing about STD’s, fluid to fluid contact, or even how to use a condom and what the use (or NON-use) of these devices could result in?.. Just because you’re uncomfortable about the subject or it goes against your following, putting your head in the sand doesn’t make it go away.

Having this knowledge and the teachings of the Church at your kid’s disposal is that much more “ammo in their clip” and reason to abstain.

they learn a lot of this in school…about diseases. I believe that to think that kids know nothing, is naive. They know too much, about the culture of death’s version of safe sex…that is the problem. I have had discussions with my 14 yr old son about sex, and I have never been uncomfortable about it…neither has my husband. But, he knows more than I thought he did…from friends…from school…the school is **not giving out misinformation about std’s and pregnancy. ** They talk extensively…in a factual way about the dangers of sex, from a physical/disease/pregnancy view only. They only teach the mechanics. The public schools, and some modern day Catholic schools eve, do not teach about purity and chastity…that’s a parent’s job.

 

[Jay2]

They only teach the mechanics. The public schools, and some modern day Catholic schools eve, do not teach about purity and chastity…that’s a parent’s job.

That is perfect… “mechanics”…

It is up to parents (that now unknown nasty word… parents/parenting) to take the “mechanics” out of the teaching, and equate it into the world/situations/temptations that these kids face!

 

[whatevergirl]

That is perfect… “mechanics”…

It is up to parents (that now unknown nasty word… parents/parenting) to take the “mechanics” out of the teaching, and equate it into the world/situations/temptations that these kids face!

agreed; and the thing is…they need to be taught that they will get dumped a lot (by gf’s and bf’s–I know I was in that boat because I wouldn’t ‘put out’) if they don’t have sex. That is what I try to instill…let’s role play…I say. What will you say if a girl says…you would if you loved me? Or to my daughter…a boy says to you…‘if you loved me you would.’ or ‘everyone is doing it.’ or ’ we’re going together now, doesn’t that mean anything?’ or ‘well, maybe i should find someone who will give me what i want.’

the list goes on.

I have had gf’s who have caught terrible diseases, and for what? some guy who now, she can’t remember his last name, from high school? please…it’s not worth it.

 

[fix]

My point has utterly escaped you. Go back and read #69 if you persist in suggesting that I am educating for the purpose of encouraging immorality.

I understand your position and I disagree. Your view is held by many.

I would ask two questions to folks like you who hold this position:

1. Is there evidence the Church supports your position?

2.Logically, informing a child that a certain act is grave for their soul and body, then saying if you choose to act gravely wrong then do xyz so you do not have any serious physical ramifications is encouraging. This is done because people claim the youth has no control or is poorly formed morally.

Not only is there no “safer” sex physically that is dependable it sends the wrong message and further endangers their life. People can easily develop the attitude they are safe if they do such and such. They can carry that attitude into their life and marriage. They have been given false information. False morally and false medically.

Again, why is it moral to say if you must sin be careful sinning? There are all types of sutuations where that logic could be used. Tell a child that if he must rob where a mask so no one will identify him so he will not end up in jail and ruin his life? He may repent later.

 

[whatevergirl]

I understand your position and I disagree. Your view is held by many.

I would ask two questions to folks like you who hold this position:

1. Is there evidence the Church supports your position?

2.Logically, informing a child that a certain act is grave for their soul and body, then saying if you choose to act gravely wrong then do xyz so you do not have any serious physical ramifications is encouraging. This is done because people claim the youth has no control or is poorly formed morally.

Not only is there no “safer” sex physically that is dependable it sends the wrong message and further endangers their life. People can easily develop the attitude they are safe if they do such and such. They can carry that attitude into their life and marriage. They have been given false information. False morally and false medically.

Again, why is it moral to say if you must sin be careful sinning? There are all types of sutuations where that logic could be used. Tell a child that if he must rob where a mask so no one will identify him so he will not end up in jail and ruin his life? He may repent later.

I so love the line I’ve bolded…that is brilliant.

 

[8isgr8]

I knew what a scuzzball I was in HS… and I can still remember the names of the girls that would “put out”. Oh yes, they are out there… every school has them, and trust me… every young man who’s entertained an impure thought knows their name.

I think I’ll have my daughters read your post. Because I played trombone in college, I had plenty of opportunity to hear how guys talk about those girls, and it was very helpful in supporting my belief in following my faith! I didn’t want those things being said about me. I thought even then what a shame it was that those girls had no idea what these guys really thought.

 

[Titus]

I’m coming to the conclusion that the much-maligned (over at TC or L&S) HH Paul VI Servant of God was a remarkably prescient man, when he wrote *Humanae Vitae. *If only we’d listened. While it is heartening to see people sticking up for christian chastity, we must face the fact we are a very small minority. The western world is an abortive, contraceptive society, and we need to shake that off, and soon.

 

[bunnynessuk]

There is no such thing as ‘safe pre marital sex’ - theres is sex with 99% chance of No pregnancy and 99% chance of catching HIV there is not any SAFE method of sex unless you are in a loving relationship!!!

Your children should be aware that for girls sex for under-matured girls increases their risk of cancers (cervical particularly!)

For both sexes pre marital relations causes emotional harm and mental harm as they are getting involved in things which they are to young too!!!

The best thing for you to teach your children is respect and whilst they may not abide by the churches teachings when they are adults under your roof !!!

The churches teachings are good and they are there for a reason!

 

[Rob_s_Wife]

You cannot identify yourself as a Roman Catholic (poster’s profile) but don’t want to hold to Catholic teachings…

**Once a catholic you’re a catholic forever. Kind of like family. They may disown us or be disowned (excommunicated), but they’re still family. **

The entire point of not getting married is to avoid committment

If you were committed to a spouse you’d want the ability to provide them with medical insurance and other benefits only extended to legal spouses.

The reason most don’t commit is fear. I’ve never understood why anyone would want to “partner” with a coward. If they are too scared of __ to get married, to commit a sacred vow to care for another - THAT would sure make me fearful of trusting in their so-called brand of commitment and love.

Marriage isn’t about the legal stuff and benefits. Without a penny or benefit to him, I’d gladly remarry my dh without an ounce of regret.

You are a very smart young woman. I never thought about what condoms DON’T protect you from. Someone should make an ad campaign about that.

**Actually, there IS a tape of it called Contraceptives, why not?! that is very worth listening to and discusses this very element. **

who do not arrive at the altar as virgins–and who owe the fact of their disease and pregnancy-free status not to good judgement and self-control but to the use of contraceptives. I know. I am one of them.

With all due respect. No, you are not and neither am I. You and I owe it to pure dumb luck. (No offense to your actual intelligence intended.) You owe the fact that you didn’t get pregnant or a disease to being lucky enough to not being one of the victims to a busted condom or taking an antibiotic, thus the pill not working effectively during that small window of ovulation.

**As others have noted, the failure rate is there. I wouldn’t thank them for your not being one of them. It’s pure luck. I, for one, do not want my children trusting their health or their soul on that. **

For those who are not born into a perfect state of moral rectitude nor ever manage to achieve such perfection, apparently a death sentence is the rightful consequence.
For the vast majority death is not the result of pregnancy or even most STD’s. That’s a bit dramatic.

Those of us grateful to be alive long enough to see the light and repent want nothing more than the same for our kids–
To repeat your sins?
the very people whom we love most selflessly yet whose choices none of us can “control”. We do not advocate a path we may now regret–in fact do our best to educate and warn our kids about the consequences of poor choices
sure you are. I get that they can make their own choices, but I will not advocate a sinful choice just to avoid the consequences of dealing with a different sin. period.
–but we do believe in second acts, second chances and redemption–a choice available only if the player is still in the game.
there are very few instances where sex results in instant death. most get chances to repent. usually within moments. again rather dramatic.
however, since you’re bent on making this about living long enough to get a “second chance”…
**so what about the person who uses the birth control and dies before they can grow up to repent the sin? **where’s their second chance?
You can’t assume that by using one sin they will live to repent the sin they are using to be protected from. Rather you are risking that they die having commited TWO sins, rather than one!

I’ll second whatever girl, I love this quote from fix:
**

why is it moral to say if you must sin be careful sinning?

**

My kids do know about birth control and STD’s. Not really my choice, just the result of many strangers feeling a need to comment on my family size in front of my children. They know it’s a sinful thing and it would be foolish to put our health or our soul on the line and trust in something sinful.

 

[Pondero]

According to Fr.John Whelan of Priests for Life in Canada, as seen on EWTN last night, many priests in Canada still have trouble with Humanae Vitae. Also, according to a survey, 80-85% of Catholics in Canada practice some form of contraception.

So, assuming similar things exist in the USA, then I am not surprised that some people have difficulty understanding or believing in the teaching of the church when our priests don’t understand it.

 

[StratusRose]

Actually, there IS a tape of it called Contraceptives, why not?! that is very worth listening to and discusses this very element.

I have listened to it, and I just recently loaned it to a friend. It came with our NFP kit.