Teen Struggling with Sadness

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Marshmallow03

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During this pandemic, I’ve struggled with staying positive and not getting constantly upset. I was successful with the help of my kind mother (a social worker) for a month or two with feeling at peace with what is going on and asking God for help and being thankful, but recently my emotions have been spiraling down again. I feel guilty asking my mother for help again, because I don’t want to make her sad or become a nuisance and (on a more egotistical side) I’m afraid of seeming emotionally weak and depressed.

But I am feeling sadder and more hopeless than before. I’m losing contact with friends because I am afraid and I have been starting to fall behind in online schoolwork because I constantly feel like crying. I miss school and I miss playing in band, working with my friends on the robotics team, things that give me a purpose and satisfaction. I even can’t get my drivers license despite having everything ready and 6 hours under my belt. I feel incredibly lonely.Things that have always made me feel better (listening to my favorite songs, painting, writing my own prayers to God) haven’t been helping like they used to.

And to make this even worse, my parents won’t stop talking about moving. We’ve lived where we are since I was in 2nd grade and I love it here. I never want to move away. But with me going to college in a couple years, my parents are going to move when I leave since the taxes here are too high. I understand this, but they wont stop talking about it! Discussing where my cat will live, asking me what college I want to go to, what they need to do to our house to make it worth more, etc. I feel like if everything were normal (no coronavirus, just having a normal teen life), I would be excited and not be bothered by their discussions. But having that on top all my other emotional struggles during this time is unbearable. And when I tell my mother that these discussions bother me very much, she tells me that I am being too sensitive. Maybe this is true, but it certainly doesn’t make it any easier. I spent hours in my room crying yesterday. My parents don’t know about that.
I feel like giving up and I have no one to talk to. I don’t even have any siblings so I have no one sharing this experience. I feel incredibly lonely and sad. I’ve been praying every night asking God for help, but I don’t know what to do. I need advice.
 
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I am sorry you are going through this, but honestly, everyone is. There is a lot of “I” in your thread. You talking about about how you feel, what you miss, and how you want or wish things could be.

I think you need to spend less time in your mind thinking about yourself, and more time thinking about others. Talk to your friends your relatives, and no, I don’t mean text. Actually talk to the people you miss by phone or FaceTime. But don’t use it it to talk negatively, use it to connect. Talk about music, or movies or whatever you have been busy with.

Get some physical exercise. Your body will feel better and you will sleep better. Work in the yard. Help a neighbor.

Do something that does not involve turning inward, only outward toward others.
 
Thank you. I think I am definitely going to do those things. God bless!
 
That’s good, but you didn’t need to delete it. It could in fact help other teens that might read it.
 
Ok. I guess I got a little nervous. Opening up can be tough for me sometimes. 🙂 I will repost. Thank you!
 
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Hi Marshmallow,
Wow, I felt like that earlier today… I was a mess! And IrishMom’s advice is so good-- talk to people and get outside. I did that and felt like my usual self.

This is an incredibly tough time. God created us as social beings (it is not good for him to be alone) and we need to connect. And our bodies respond very well to moving around and to the out-of-doors.

One thing that was hard for me as a teenager was understanding that things would change. So often it seemed like whatever was happening would last forever. (Hmmm, now that I think of it, I’m not sure I’ve gotten over that!) Especially when we are unsure of the future, it is hard to deal with a less-than-great present.

My son’s high school has some counselors, maybe your school does too? They are probably going to be in very good shape to help students whose entire life frameworks have been ripped away. Even if you just talk with them once or twice, they may be able to give you some good advice.
 
It’s normal to feel sad when your entire routine has been upended and the whole world seems like it has gone nuts.

You’re not crazy, wrong or bad.

All of us, adults and kids, are making adjustments and it’s stressful on all of us and it won’t be all perfect and thats okay.

Don’t be afraid to go to your parents and just be aware they may have stress you don’t know about.

Please make sure you’re eating properly and enough sleep and getting outside every day for fresh air and sunshine.
Journal if you like, text and video chat your friends.

I’m sorry. Truly. Everything is so strange now 🙂
 
Thank you. It truly means a lot to me! Today I successfully reached out to some friends from a while ago and went for a jog. Those things definitely helped! I have to remember, this is all part of God’s great plan. I hope you and everyone else are staying safe!
 
Thank you, I very much appreciate it! I hope you are keeping well. God bless!
 
That is wonderful! I guess we just all need to learn to live in this strange new world.
 
Speaking as a mom,
Marshmallow03 said:
I feel guilty asking my mother for help again, because I don’t want to make her sad or become a nuisance and (on a more egotistical side) I’m afraid of seeming emotionally weak and depressed.
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She wants to help you. She wants to be there for her, allow her in. Depression is not “your fault” any more than catching a cold is your fault.

There is one book I will recommend, Fr Phillipe’s “Searching For and Maintaining Peace”. You can grab it used on Amazon, or as an ebook.

Talk to your folks.
 
Also as a mom, I see being there for my kids as part of the job.

Am I sad when my kiddos are sad? Yes.
Am I big enough to take it? Yes.

Is being sad the worst thing in the world? No.
It’s all part and parcel of being in relationship to other people. We carry each other’s burdens.
 
Things are getting much better! I cannot thank you and everyone else here enough for your amazing advice. I was able to attend mass and receive communion for the first time in almost two months last Sunday! That in itself had helped me significantly. I have been focusing away from myself and more on my family and friends, which has helped ground me and show what really matters.
Again, I cannot thank all of you enough for your kindness! I hope everyone and your families stays healthy and safe. God bless you!
 
Thanks for the update! So happy to hear about the changes for you!
 
One minor thing that may help, is to spend some time in the sun daily, short sleeve shirt and shorts preferred. 🌞

COVID is keeping everyone indoors and we are not getting much Vit D from the sun. Low vitamin D is connected with depression and a less active immune system. So more sun can help you feel better and help protect you from covid.
 
I’m 63, and yet I can identify with Marshmallow03.

BTW, Marshmallow03, we must be related. You knows what “Peeps” are made of, don’t you?! So we must be long-lost relatives!

Anyway, I admit that I absolutely HATE what COVID-19 has done to my world and my life. Yes, there are some good things–more cooking at home, lots and lots of overtime at work which means a higher income and less to spend it on because up until the last week or so, most of the stores and businesses in Illinois have been closed.

But it’s not the life I’ve lived for 63 years. Other than a few online forums, I am NOT into “online life.” I don’t have an I-phone, and I don’t want to live my life staring at a 2-inch screen and twitching my finger up and down that screen.

I feel that I have been kidnapped by aliens and I’m living on a different planet than the one I have known and loved for 63 years!

And I frankly hate it.

And I hate wearing a mask. Just now, I FINALLY heard a story on the TV news from a dermatologist who is validating what I already know–wearing a mask, especially in the summer heat, is terrible for our skin!! YES! Masks are NOT cute fashion accessories, IMO. They are prisons for our faces, and I hate 'em!

And on top of everything else, our country is being attacked–yes, attacked, and declared “systemically racist”, and we are all guilty and EVERYTHING has to be examined and massive changes made.

Oh, great. And here I thought we had made some progress in race relations and equality. I guess I’m a lot stupider than I thought.

Hey, sarcasm ended–it makes me feel very discouraged that all the work that has been is just doo-doo, and I definitely do NOT feel good about many of the “changes” that are being proposed by the activists who, as far as I’m concerned, are taking advantage of our country and essentially terrorizing us when we are all at a very low point because of a pandemic that is being handled by a government at the federal and state levels that was already crippled and dysfunctional and horribly horribly divided when it comes to interpreting our Constitution!

And I think what is horribly depressing and kind of frightening for me is wondering if we will ever get our old lives back again. I fear for my last decade or so.

So you see, Marshmallow03, it’s not just you who is struggling with sadness.
 
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