Teenagers and Mass Participation

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I have 2 teen boys, ages 15 and 16. They’re good guys and go to mass every week without complaining. My husband formally teaches them the faith, we say grace before meals and they sometimes listen to apologetics Catholic tapes and CDs (in the car). However, they will not participate at mass! They don’t say the reponses, let alone sing. So far we haven’t pressured them, but our 9 year old is seeing his big brothers not participating and is choosing not to participate either!

Any suggestions?
 
Lack of Mass participation can signify the need of interior conversion.

My 14 boy went through a couple of years doing only what he was forced to do in Mass. One day I noticed he was saying every part. A few weeks late he asked to go through RCIA and join the church (I am a convert). I still do not know why he had such a change of heart, but now he always participates.
I would recommend finding the opportunity for them to attend a Catholic youth conference or some such activity. Being around other spritually-oriented youth one way they could see their own need for conversion. Then it is easier to be excited about the celebration of the Mass.
 
I agree, get them into a youth group or activity with other Catholic teens. I attend mass at the parish where Life Teen was founded some 25 years ago and it is amazing to see what goes on at the Sunday night teen mass. These kids are fully present while at mass. They full participate. One thing I see is that they have a lot of options to attend conferences, workshops, and retreats, not to mention a parish staff who is dedicated to the program. If your parish doen’t have a Life Teen program, look for one that does and allow your boys to attend mass there once and a while. I know parents who attend one mass, and then drive their kids back that evening so they can go to “their” mass. You can visit the Life Teen website to find a parish near you that is involved. Their web address is www.lifeteen.com. Good luck and God Bless.
 
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mmd:
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Yes. Ask them why not.
 
Razor wire accross the back works best in our home… 😃
NO, I really don’t know the answer here… but, i do remember me doing the same when i was a teenager… and it was my fathers example that got me into participation… so don’t quit leading by example… and remember, if you make a big deal out of it, it will only be harder… 👍
 
Im 18 and participate full in every mass. I love the hymns they are uplifiting and I am proud of the confession of faith. The mass intentions are needed as well. The best thing you can do is ask them. I sing and my voice is not one that should be heard lol!
 
Ever since I was little, my mom would (and does) always always sing in church (and the same songs in the car, the house, etc.) so I grew up loving to sing in church!

I guess you should just try leading by example, oh, and tell them that girls love it when guys sing and participate in Mass 😉 (I’m kind of not kidding!)
 
Calmly and with great kindness 😉 , I will hold the book out in front of my teens and follow each line with my finger. Suddenly I find they don’t need my help as much as it seemed because they join in right away and I can put the book down.

This probably won’t work for everyone, but it might be worth a try.
 
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