Teens and Confirmation

[dukeenee]

I imagine this has been discussed in the past, but I would like your advice about this: my 16 yr old son is to begin Confirmation classes in two weeks. Now he tells me that he’s not sure he wants to be confirmed at this time. He has gone to Catholic schools all his life, currently attends a Catholic all-boys Prep school. He was an altar server until health reasons necessitated him to give it up- ( he faints when he was on the altar, doctor said it is his vegeas nerve??). He has been in our parish’s youth group and he has gone on mission trips. He is a very good kid.
Do I demand that he go to the classes?
My husband doesn’t care one way or the other but thinks he should be confirmed.
I had a friend who was not confirmed when were were kids and he never did get confirmed. I don’t know if I should insist my son go through with confirmation or let him make the decidion on his own.
Thanks for your advice!

 

[Dtmccameron]

Well, why doesn’t he wish to be confirmed? Is it because he doesn’t feel he’s ready? I was confirmed at 17 and I know I wasn’t ready…

I suppose he would know better than most if he we’re…wait…Not even the classes? Humbug, just because you take the class doesn’t mean you have to be confirmed afterwards. Or does it?

Might he end up like those atheists that pay to get their baptisms undone, simply because they despise the very notion that it binds them to the Church and to God? I wonder if he might be striving for that same “freedom”.

It’d be nice to know why he doesn’t want to be confirmed.

 

[lilred5]

Like Dtmccameron said, try to find out why he does not want to be confirmed.

I, personally, would ask him to continue taking the classes. Just because you take the classes does not mean you have to get confirmed. Most parishes (that I know of) have confimation for adults who wish to recieve the sacrament and did not in their youth.

 

[4everjustjesus]

I imagine this has been discussed in the past, but I would like your advice about this: my 16 yr old son is to begin Confirmation classes in two weeks. Now he tells me that he’s not sure he wants to be confirmed at this time. He has gone to Catholic schools all his life, currently attends a Catholic all-boys Prep school. He was an altar server until health reasons necessitated him to give it up- ( he faints when he was on the altar, doctor said it is his vegeas nerve??). He has been in our parish’s youth group and he has gone on mission trips. He is a very good kid.
Do I demand that he go to the classes?
My husband doesn’t care one way or the other but thinks he should be confirmed.
I had a friend who was not confirmed when were were kids and he never did get confirmed. I don’t know if I should insist my son go through with confirmation or let him make the decidion on his own.
Thanks for your advice!

Now why does he NOT want to be confirmed? It would really help to know that when we answer this question :o Maybe he just doesn't see it as a necessary condiment to his faith? I think you (or someone else who knows alot about the catholic faith, preferably very dynamic) should try and explain what is going on.....his teachers will probably do that, but when you have some that you know talking to you, a subject sometimes seems more interesting. 

      I know that i was not at first very enthusiastic about confirmation until one of our friends ( a very good and dynamic catholic) began to talk about it, since then, I wanted to receive confirmation so bad! I'm proud to say that I received confirmation on June 13.

Also, maybe your son does not feel worthy enough to receive the Holy Spirit in such a special was? There have been cases where people actually have thought that, but fortunately most of them got over it and received the Spirit with humility and joy!

    I would suggest having a charismatic Catholic talk to your son. Charismatics havea special devotion to the Holy Spirit. Many of them even have certain gifts of the Holy Spirit that the normal Catholic usually does not have. These include the gifts of tongues, prophesy, tears, and more! How could one not want to receive confirmation after hearing about all this! What the Spirit pours down on us...............oh! just so amazing!

God Bless!

 

[Phemie]

My 15 year old also told me he didn’t want to be confirmed. “Fine, that has to be your choice, I can’t march you up to the bishop and force you BUT you are still going to the classes so that you know what it is you are refusing.”

He was confirmed. That told me that it wasn’t the sacrament he had a problem with, it was the classes for which he had to give up time with his buddies.

 

[Corki]

As others have stated, I think it’s important for you to know why he doesn’t want to be confirmed.

Additionally, I suggest you make sure that he understands the Sacrament, especially that it is received not “made”, that the classes are not about getting one ready but are to help the students learn what they will be receiving, etc.

Many kids think they are “making” Confirmation and that it means they are making a Committment. It’s no wonder they don’t feel ready - who is really ever ready for that? When he understands it is not a new committment but a completion of the initation already begun with his Baptism, he may look at it differently.

Ultimately, he is above the age of reason and has to ask for the Sacrament freely when the time comes. But at 16, kids don’t get to decide about thier own education, academic or religious. So, I would do what Phemie did and say that the classes are non-negotiable and the Sacrament will be decided when the time comes.

Good luck.

 

[Paul2274]

My 15 year old also told me he didn’t want to be confirmed. “Fine, that has to be your choice, I can’t march you up to the bishop and force you BUT you are still going to the classes so that you know what it is you are refusing.”

He was confirmed. That told me that it wasn’t the sacrament he had a problem with, it was the classes for which he had to give up time with his buddies.

WOW! We must have had twins or something. Mine was exactly the same way. I let him go when he was 16 without. Then he turned 17 and I made the registration and he gave me the “eye roll” and I made him go. By the time retreat came around he was lookig forward to the classes and the retreat and so much so that he went on a second retreat after confirmation. Sometimes they just need a kick in the pants.

Paul

 

[Br.Rich_SFO]

I imagine this has been discussed in the past, but I would like your advice about this: my 16 yr old son is to begin Confirmation classes in two weeks. Now he tells me that he’s not sure he wants to be confirmed at this time. He has gone to Catholic schools all his life, currently attends a Catholic all-boys Prep school. He was an altar server until health reasons necessitated him to give it up- ( he faints when he was on the altar, doctor said it is his vegeas nerve??). He has been in our parish’s youth group and he has gone on mission trips. He is a very good kid.
Do I demand that he go to the classes?
My husband doesn’t care one way or the other but thinks he should be confirmed.
I had a friend who was not confirmed when were were kids and he never did get confirmed. I don’t know if I should insist my son go through with confirmation or let him make the decidion on his own.
Thanks for your advice!

I’ve seen many college students who decided they needed to be Confirmed now because they were not encouraged to do so when they were younger. My suggestion is that you as his parent require him to attend the class and do the work, participate, etc. It is his decision as to if he received the Sacrament at the end of the process. The decision to receive the Sacrament is not yours, but his. The decision to require him to attend Confirmation class, Mass, youth group, is yours.

 

[kage_ar]

I’d suggest you begin with a good prayerful reading of the CCC section on Confirmation, to understand what the Sacrament is.

It begins at 1285 scborromeo.org/ccc/p2s2c1a2.htm#1285

Our Bishop made very clear in his homily at Confirmation that this is NOT similar to the protestant “believers baptism” nor is it the person making an adult profession of Faith.

The RE classes are important for your son, more important than his secular education!

 

[jeanne71350]

I imagine this has been discussed in the past, but I would like your advice about this: my 16 yr old son is to begin Confirmation classes in two weeks. Now he tells me that he’s not sure he wants to be confirmed at this time. He has gone to Catholic schools all his life, currently attends a Catholic all-boys Prep school. He was an altar server until health reasons necessitated him to give it up- ( he faints when he was on the altar, doctor said it is his vegeas nerve??). He has been in our parish’s youth group and he has gone on mission trips. He is a very good kid.
Do I demand that he go to the classes?
My husband doesn’t care one way or the other but thinks he should be confirmed.
I had a friend who was not confirmed when were were kids and he never did get confirmed. I don’t know if I should insist my son go through with confirmation or let him make the decidion on his own.
Thanks for your advice!

Hey I’m currently in Confirmation classes right now, and I’m making it in April. I have to say, confirmation is a big part of your time. A lot of people I know gripe that they have sports, dancing, band or whatever all week, then have to go to an hour of religion on Sunday. People have moved out of their parish and gone to a small Church outside of the diocese so their kids wouldn’t have to attend Confirmation classes and can just get the Sacrament. People have also moved to Parishes where the times are more convienient for them. Is it aggravating to go every Sunday to class, when I would rather be hanging with my friends, or catching up on rest? yes. But I know Confirmation is important, and I’m learning a lot, and I’m escatic to be Confirming in April.

 

[kage_ar]

I’m escatic to be Confirming in April.

Remember, you will be Confirmed by the Bishop, Confirmed by the Church, Confirmed by the Holy Spirit.

You will not do the Confirming - this is a Sacrament that you recieve.

 

[jeanne71350]

Remember, you will be Confirmed by the Bishop, Confirmed by the Church, Confirmed by the Holy Spirit.

You will not do the Confirming - this is a Sacrament that you recieve.

Oh I know that. What I ment to say was that I am excited to be recieving Confirmation this year.

-Jeanne

 

[Dtmccameron]

Remember, you will be Confirmed by the Bishop, Confirmed by the Church, Confirmed by the Holy Spirit.

You will not do the Confirming - this is a Sacrament that you recieve.

Assuming, as allowed in the Catechism, an emergency doesn’t prevent him from showing up. For our Confirmation, we had a Priest as enthusiastic as any army recruiter