Tell an Outrageous Lie About the Previous Poster, Vol II

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boldlygo

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I do enjoy Justin Bieber songs, but only when mVitus sings them in his Tiny Tim falsetto…mVitus has been a Tiny Tim fan for eons…when he has difficulty falling asleep, he sings ‘Tiptoe Through the Tulips’ until he nods off…[fortunately, he lives alone…]…
 
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Boldlygo was inspired to learn the ukulele from watching Tiny Tim. He became so proficient, he tried out for Ozzy Osbourne’s band after the tragic death of guitarist Randy Rhoads. He was politely declined, but he continues to hold out hope that he will one day shred ukulele with one of the Monsters of Metal.
 
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christofirst read somewhere that the best way to improve oneself is to emulate someone you admire…he now spends all his free time, sometimes into the wee hours of the morning, watching reruns of ‘The Andy Griffith Show’, so that he can imitate the suave sophistication of his hero, Goober Pyle…
 
After years of noticing people roll their eyes when he starts talking, boldlygo finally figured out that he might be a little long winded. Being the people pleaser he is, he coined the phrase ‘to make a long story short’. He uses it mostly at his local “Encounter Group” sessions. The other members coined the retort, “too late”.
 
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1Lord1Faith started out as a comedy gag writer for the stand up comedian Irving Plotnicki. Since Plotnicki was as funny as a lead life preserver, 1Lord1Faith is now content with creatively writing for CAF.
 
Joeybaggzzzzz normally [?] sleeps 20 hours per day…he stayed up late to watch the Ken Burns Vietnam series on PBS, four days in a row, and then went to bed…some people have 7-day programmable thermostats…Joeybaggzzzzz has a 7-day programmable alarm clock…he’ll be getting up on Tuesday, just in time to watch ‘Forged in Fire’ on the History Channel…if the alarm ever fails, he’ll go into hibernation…
 
Why was a new thread created? Just curious.

Boldlygo was jealous of not having started the previous thread. 😉
 
…chirped mVitus in his Tiny Tim falsetto…

The falsetto has gotten so old that mVitus’s friends [both of them], raise their voices a few octaves when speaking to him…
 
Oktoberfest is boldlygo’s favorite time of year, so much so that he proudly wears his lederhosen all year long. He might at any time also break into a vigorous Schuhplattler dance, be it at a bank, gas station or grocery store.
 
Christofirst’s favorite sporting activity is white water rafting on Lake Michigan.
 
joeybaggzzzzz decided to join them on Lake Michigan; after all, he’d never been white water rafting…he got bored, and fell asleep…he’s been asleep for two days now [that gentle rocking motion is so soothing…], and he’s probably somewhere between Milwaukee and Chicago by now…
 
Boldlygo tried to make sailboats out of bathtubs and tattered curtains. Needless to say he didn’t make it very far.
 
The ‘tattered curtains’ were actually what was left of SuperLuigi’s ‘Sunday-go-to meeting’ clothes…seems he had a crush on the ladies’ choir director…he sneaked into their dressing room, ‘borrowed’ a floor-length robe, put it on over his suit, donned his ‘Little Orphan Annie’ wig, and returned to the dressing room just prior to the arrival of the choir…he had forgotten to shave!!..what they did to him is not mentionable here, but suffice to say, he’s now an ‘alto’…
 
Boldlygo was a poor mountaineer, who barely kept his family fed. Then one day he was shooting at some food, and up from the ground came a bubbling crude. Oil, that is. Black gold. Texas tea.
 
christofirst was on the scene when ‘up from the ground came a bubbling crude’…“What would my hero, Goober Pyle, do now?”, he thought…“Hmmmm…Texas tea…”…he filled his 7-Eleven Big Gulp cup and chugged it…twice…needless to say, he hasn’t left the outhouse for three days now…
 
Boldlygo has been banned from every casino in Las Vegas. Whenever he wins a bet he jumps up on the table and sings the theme from “Rocky” in falsetto. Both management and the other players are not amused. Word is that he is planning a trip to Atlantic City this month.
 
Joeybaggzzzzz finally landed near Chicago on Thursday…his raft drifted ashore, and he awoke shortly thereafter…the city was abuzz…the beloved Cubs were in the playoffs!!..he rushed to Wrigley field, paid a huge amount of money for a seat in the nosebleed section, and went to his seat immediately…the game is on Sunday, and he’ll sleep there until game time; hopefully, the pre-game noise will be enough to rouse him from his slumber…
 
Boldlygo was banned from Wrigley Field for stealing foul balls from children who had caught them. He tried to sell some of the official MLB baseballs to the kids who play in the sandlot near his house. The kids didn’t believe that the balls were from Wrigley Field. So instead of giving boldlygo money, the kids let him be the batter for a few pitches in exchange for one of the balls. And really, that’s what boldlygo wanted all along.
 
1Lord1Faith has petitioned the government to permanently change the name of Lake Erie to Lake Groovy, in honor of the 50th anniversary of the Summer of Love.
 
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