Tell me your struggles

[fbl9]

There are times(too often of late) that i feel i truly do not love Jesus as i should; which is evidenced my being prone to certain sinful behaviour.

 

[Lainey63]

I don’t know if that is necessarily a lack of love or our fallen nature. Or perhaps a mixture of self centeredness & simply be weak.

 

[Mijoy2]

Doesn’t this demonstrate a lack of Trust in God? I felt like you did for a long time and that is what I learned I was guilty of. And I can tell you where I went wrong, my avenue back to the church was through attending & practicing what I had learned through apparitions of the Virgin Mary. This caused me much confusion. I eventually decided that I would follow what the Blessed Mother did when she was here-she followed the laws of her faith. I found out that the apparitions were condemned but I still was left with a mess within myself. Today I am studying the Catechism, I stay away from fringe groups including SSPX and all private revelations. And I don’t take into account too much when a layperson claims to know all about church documents and theology etc…because for me these things are dangerous because of my past experiences. If I have a question I ask a priest. I am learning my faith from square one. There are some things that I do wish would change like communion in the hand-I tried it twice & it just doesn’t sit right with me I don’t like listening to deacons say the homily-I just simply don’t like it. It has been quite a journey for me and when I found out that those apparitions were condemned and I decided that I would follow what the bishop said I happened to read a book I think it was called the Dialogue of St Catherine of Sienna and in it The Eternal Father was talking to her and He said that “obedience is no small matter to God.” He has certain people in authority to whom we should respect and follow their direction. I hope my experience helps you in some way.

I don’t frequent these forums much anymore. So I did not see you responded to my post until just now. I want to thank you. And yes, your experience does help. I think I will t ake y ou advice and spend more time studying the Catechism and maybe encyclicals and less time listening to “hell talk” from private revelations and others.

However, we (Catholics in general along with the Church hireachy) do put much credence in private revelations such as John Bosco and the Children of Fatima, the words of our Lady etc that paint deeply depressing and despair producing feelings of hopelessness for our loved ones who are not following the teachings of the church.

That is where I find the right to use the word “contradicting”.

I wish some of the respected individuals of our faith such as the Scott Hahns, Karl Keatings, Jimmy Akins and others would address this issue more head on. I find, when pressed, the apparent contradictions between how the Church teaches of a Loving Heavenly Father who knows the number of hairs on my head (not really such a difficult thing these days ) lets me wonder in despair over those I love who do not take the time to know thier faith.

Again, I cannot understand how I am to feel joyous, while at the same time deeply worrying about a loved one’s soul.

When our children fall an skin a knee, we cry with them. We pick them up and hug them and would do anything if we could take all thier pain. How much worse is even a moment of the concept of hell?

How is this problem reconciled? I’d suggest poorly.

But I do thank you and will pick up the Catechism.

 

[4EverHis]

St Padre Pio said,

“pray, hope, and don’t worry. Worry is useless. God is merciful and will hear your prayer”.

Try not to WORRY about a loved ones soul, but pray for them and have hope…remember hope is a theological virtue. Try to pray with trust in God.

God bless

 

[fbl9]

I don’t know if that is necessarily a lack of love or our fallen nature. Or perhaps a mixture of self centeredness & simply be weak.

the formula for that mixture would be;
60% self centredness
30% weak
9.9% fallen nature
the other .1% just shows i am not pure yet.

 

[johngh]

I have lots of struggles, like all people, but mostly I have one big struggle. That struggle is loving other people.

I have gone through many periods in my life where I absolutely despised other people. I thought that people never did what they were supposed to do, didn’t care enough about what is important, etc. I developed a very strong fault detector, and my detection of good qualities in people almost disappeared. Basically when I would meet someone, they could do 49 things right, and 1 thing wrong, and that 1 thing would stick out to me like a glaring red sign telling me to hate this person. And since people are not perfect, this included every single person I met. Obviously this has had profound effects on me and how I deal with life. I developed pretty bad anxiety problems which would cause me to have trouble breathing a lot. Also I find it difficult to go out of my way to help people, because though I feel I should help people because it’s the right thing to do, I don’t love people enough to really put forth the effort I should.

The exception in this case is my girlfriend. I find it incredibly easy to go out of my way and do things for her and I never feel a single bit of frustration or anything in doing it. I do everything I can for her and do it happily. One example I can think of is dishes. When I am at her apartment I do not mind doing dishes at all. In fact I do them when I can and do so happily because I am glad to help her out. However when I am at home, I avoid doing dishes like the plague. My mom and sister get mad at me all the time for not doing them and not doing enough around the house. I know I should help them because it would be the right thing to do, but ultimately I just can’t find the motivation to help them like I know I should.

I can only hope that one day I will be able to find it in me to really love other people. I fear for what my life will be like if I can never find a way to do that.

 

[1catholic]

I have lots of struggles, like all people, but mostly I have one big struggle. That struggle is loving other people.

I have gone through many periods in my life where I absolutely despised other people. I thought that people never did what they were supposed to do, didn’t care enough about what is important, etc. I developed a very strong fault detector, and my detection of good qualities in people almost disappeared. Basically when I would meet someone, they could do 49 things right, and 1 thing wrong, and that 1 thing would stick out to me like a glaring red sign telling me to hate this person. And since people are not perfect, this included every single person I met. Obviously this has had profound effects on me and how I deal with life. I developed pretty bad anxiety problems which would cause me to have trouble breathing a lot. Also I find it difficult to go out of my way to help people, because though I feel I should help people because it’s the right thing to do, I don’t love people enough to really put forth the effort I should.

The exception in this case is my girlfriend. I find it incredibly easy to go out of my way and do things for her and I never feel a single bit of frustration or anything in doing it. I do everything I can for her and do it happily. One example I can think of is dishes. When I am at her apartment I do not mind doing dishes at all. In fact I do them when I can and do so happily because I am glad to help her out. However when I am at home, I avoid doing dishes like the plague. My mom and sister get mad at me all the time for not doing them and not doing enough around the house. I know I should help them because it would be the right thing to do, but ultimately I just can’t find the motivation to help them like I know I should.

I can only hope that one day I will be able to find it in me to really love other people. I fear for what my life will be like if I can never find a way to do that.

There are some people in my life with whom I suffer the same lack of feeling. Everything they do will frustrate me and when they reach out it is just another annoyance. I have come to think that these feeling arise when I don’t have proper respect for a person. I try to pity (not in a self-righteous way) them when they make mistakes and look for the love in their intentions. Sometimes it means taking a step which makes me feel uncomfortable, but afterward I feel I have done the person a great kindness when so often i feel cold toward them

I hope this helps

 

[KyivAndrew]

I am many times on the verge of a nervous breakdown from worrying about hell…usually these thoughts come at 3 in the morning, and sad to say, the only way I can get rid of them is either by drinking or tranquilizers. Then I get very angry and upset with a God who supposedly loves us but makes billions of people only to send them to hell. My earthly father would NEVER do that do his children (he is a Protestsant, and a good Christian, but I suppose according to some it doesn’t matter, he’s going to hell too because he is not Catholic.)

I try and try to be a good Catholic, but I struggle with alcoholism and depression, not to mention almost total despair–yet another sin…everybody’s going to hell except a chosen few…what has love got to do with it? …I CAN"T STAND THE HELL BUSINESS ANY LONGER!!! Maybe it would be best if I left this forum for the time being, as I really do not want to offend anyone but if anybody has been going through the same thing, I would really appreciate some feedback. Peace.

Where has the Catholic Church ever Pronounced Official Dogma that “everybody’s going to hell except a chosen few.”? Thinking like that may drive one to the unnecessary fits of despair you have described. Such gloom may have been symbolically mentioned for fear in someone’s private revelations with Mary, God, but that is private revelation and the CC has no idea if the majority or minority go to Hell and it has never taught that it knows for sure as that is truly up to God. As for no Salvation outside of the Church, I believe the new Catechism is quite clear that there is a possibility for non-Catholics entering Heaven too so don’t believe just yet a Protestant family member is doomed. Let God make that decision.

Read this article by one of the world’s most learned Cardinals (now passed away) Avery Dulles on “The Population of Hell.” If this article can get you to stop worrying about hell in the middle of the night and falling into despair then it will have helped optimize your belief in a good and loving God.
A quote from the article published in the late Father Neuhaus’ journal First Things:

“The most sophisticated theological argument against the conviction that some human beings in fact go to hell has been proposed by Hans Urs von Balthasar in his book Dare We Hope “That All Men Be Saved?” He rejects the ideas that hell will be emptied at the end of time and that the damned souls and demons will be reconciled with God. He also avoids asserting as a fact that everyone will be saved. But he does say that we have a right and even a duty to hope for the salvation of all, because it is not impossible that even the worst sinners may be moved by God’s grace to repent before they die.
It is unfair and incorrect to accuse either Balthasar or Neuhaus of teaching that no one goes to hell. They grant that it is probable that some or even many do go there, but they assert, on the ground that God is capable of bringing any sinner to repentance, that we have a right to hope and pray that all will be saved. The fact that something is highly improbable need not prevent us from hoping and praying that it will happen. According to the Catechism of the Catholic Church, “In hope, the Church prays for ‘all men to be saved’ (1 Timothy 2:4)” (CCC §1821). At another point the Catechism declares: “The Church prays that no one should be lost” (CCC §1058).”

Full article: firstthings.com/article/2008/08/the-population-of-hell-23

I’ve always believed that inordinate worrying over Hell is something Our Lord and Saviour never sought to be made as his Central Message, but that His was a Message of Unconditional Love and Mercy for the poor in spirit, those who cry. He is the healer of our souls, all souls. As the Lord says, throw all your worries on Him. “Not my will, but thou will be done.” You must trust in God’s goodness and not lose faith in his love. Concentrate on this, not hell. It is I assume what God would want of you seeing the pain worrying about hell has caused you. God Bless!