Temper - I need help?

[dizzy_dave]

How can I control my temper, I lose it so easy. This has always been a problem for me?

 

[BLB_Oregon]

dizzy_dave:

How can I control my temper, I lose it so easy. This has always been a problem for me?

I have this problem, too, so these are ideas, but it’s a stuggle.

Anger comes from hurt and frustration. So you ask yourself: why do I get hurt and/or frustrated so easily? Generally speaking, it is because you have unrealistic expectations about how you should be treated, how much you can get done in a day, whether or not your plans are going to be thwarted from time to time, how important your plans and ideas are compared to everyone else’s, the likelihood that other people need, want, or are even able to change to suit you, how much waiting is required before people change, the degree to which this is intentional on anyone’s part… and so on. You get the picture. This is particularly true if you get the idea that people are purposefully insulting you all the time. The truth is, most people don’t really care enough to put any kind of effort into insulting you. They’re just too busy with their own concerns.

Anger is not sinful, per se, but if you are like me, you will be amazed at how often anger comes from a lack of humility, an assumption that our own plans have some sort of precedence. Once you start noticing it, it is a humbling experience, to say the least!

So–the first step is to catch yourself being unrealistic and re-adjust your expectations.

Another step is to be aware of the physical and mental changes that come over you when you start to lose your temper. This gives you a “heads up” to start getting a grip on yourself before you lose it.

A final step is to have some strategies in place for dealing with yourself when you start losing it… the old stand-bys are counting to ten, taking ten deep breaths, excusing yourself from the situation and taking time to cool off. Some people have a prayer they say. When I get really mad at my husband, sometimes I pray, “Lord, you love him, because I just can’t do it.” And then what usually happens is that I start coping better… which I think of as the Lord loving him through me, because it isn’t my idea to apologize, that’s for sure!!

Thanks for this post… I’ll be looking forward to the other answers, too.

 

[ccav]

You may not be open to this idea, but if you have a very serious anger problem then I would look into some anger management classes. I spent almost 2 years in a program and it was definately one of the best things I could do for myself. What I learned about myself (and I hope this may help you too) is how I got into the state of being so quick to anger and then acting out on it.

The other things I learned was what my “triggers” are and how to keep myself from escalating a situation. It was tough, but it has made a world of difference in my life. A book you might be interested in is Anger Workout Book by Hendrie Weisinger . I used it in my anger classes. You can find it on Amazon.com. Very helpful for me.

Of course I can not emphesis enough the importance of prayer through all of this. I find that adoration of the Blessed Sacrement has helped me incredibly.

Anger was a terrible plague in my life, something I still have to battle everyday. I’ll pray for you because I think I know right were you are at.

If you would like you can contact me on the private message section of this forum. I would be more than happy to discuss anything with you that you may like.

God bless

 

[Christy_Beth]

I also have a problem with temper. Right now, it isn’t as bad as it used to be. Two or three years ago I got banned at another site because of it. I was formally diagnosed as mentall ill nine years ago. I’ve been in treatment/counseling for almost ten. It took me a long time to accept the term “mentally ill.” There is such a stigma attached to it. But, this is part of who I am, and as I learn to accept it, I don’t take what others say so personally. That helps.