Temporary Marriage Separation...please pray!

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Convert_in_99

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:crying:My husband and I are having lots of problems. We argue and fight instead of talk. He is very verbally aggressive and angry type person. Thankfully no physical abuse, sometimes verbal though. I am not perfect though either, as I have serious mental health issues myself, OCD, anxiety and depression.

Long story short, after taking advice from my own private counselor, I am going to go home (we live out of state) to stay with family a few weeks and see if things calm down some. My husband said no to counseling, but after I said I was leaving for a while he said he’d consider it now. So please pray for us…we NEED counseling for this to ever work out. Bless you all. Marriage is SO VERY hard! 😦
 
I am so sorry you are going through this. I think counseling would be a good idea. I will be praying for the two of you.
 
Convert_in_99 said:
:crying:My husband and I are having lots of problems. …, after taking advice from my own private counselor, I am going to go home (we live out of state) to stay with family a few weeks and see if things calm down some. My husband said no to counseling, but after I said I was leaving for a while he said he’d consider it now. So please pray for us…we NEED counseling for this to ever work out. Bless you all. Marriage is SO VERY hard! 😦
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When I read the following on another thread, I thought of you and the prayers you need for your marriage. May you have courageous prayer.
R_C said:
(I quote this source).

How many times do we, as Catholics, find ourselves in the position of telling someone that miracles do exist, and that perhaps we have been made aware of or have witnessed at least one?

How much more wonderful when the witness comes from the head of the Church, the Holy Father.

In the homily during Holy Mas celebrated on Monday, May 20, at the church of Santa Marta, the Pope tells his own testimony.

"I remember something that happened in the sanctuary of Lujan. A little girl of 7 years old was gravely ill and the doctors had no solution. In fact, she was getting worse and one night the primary physician told her parents that there was nothing left to do and that she only had a few hours of life.

The father, who was an electrician and a man of faith, seemed to go mad with pain. Moved by that folly, he took the bus to go to the sanctuary of Lujan, two hours and a half of road, over 70 kilometers away from Buenos Aires. He got there deep in the night, with everything closed. And he started to pray with his hands holding to the iron gate, praying and crying. And he remained there all night long. He was “fighting with God” for the healing of his little one.

At six in the morning, exhausted, he took the bus back. Arriving to the hospital, he embraced his wife, who was in a sea of tears.

The doctors had just told her that all of a sudden the fever had left [their little girl], she was breathing well, and she would only have to stay for observation a couple of days. But they have no idea of what happened.

In short, it was a miracle - said the Pope - because miracles are there. But prayer is needed! A courageous prayer, that fights to arrive to that miracle, not those courtesy prayers: Ah, I shall pray for you! Then a Pater Noster, an Ave Maria, and I have forgotten. No! We need a courageous prayer: like that of Abraham who wrestled with the Lord to save the city; like that of Moses that prayed with his hands on high and to exaustion; like that of many people that have faith and that with faith pray and pray."
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Eternal God , in whom mercy is endless,
and the treasury of compassion inexhastible ,
look kindly upon us and increase Your mercy in us ,
that in difficult moments we might not despair
nor become despondent , but with great confidence ,
submit ourselves to Your Holy Will ,
which is love and mercy itself . Amen

Memorare (Prayer to Our Lady)
Remember, O most gracious Virgin Mary, that never was it known that anyone who fled to your protection, implored your help, or sought your intercession, was left unaided.
Inspired by this confidence, I fly unto you, O Virgin of virgins, my Mother. To you do I come, before you I stand, sinful and sorrowful. O Mother of the Word Incarnate, despise not my petitions, but in your mercy, hear and answer me. Amen
 
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For the temporary anxiety and depression I would try the following;
(i) Pray The Holy Rosary twice a day if not three times daily asking Jesus and Mother Mary to completely remove all of your anxiety and depression, praying for The Holy Souls in Purgatory and Peace for the world now and for eternity
(i) Purchase a set of bar-bells or dum-bells and do swimming, walking, jogging or play tennis; anything involving lifting your arms up which triggers a muscle in the arm to the brain decreasing depressive episodes
(ii) Purchase anti anxiety cds (music)
(iv) Paramount is realising in entirety that ‘nothing’ at all matters in this world other than your relationship with God; we are living up to God and no-one else, following His Commandments and helping others through God.
 
I will pray for your marriage. I suffer from panic attacks and my therapist told me when it starts to grab an ice cube and by the time it melts your attack will be over. Probably sooner than that. It really keeps your mind focused as you hold the ice cube in your hand.

Steph
 
Convert_in_99 said:
:crying:My husband and I are having lots of problems. We argue and fight instead of talk. He is very verbally aggressive and angry type person. … I am not perfect though either, as I have serious mental health issues myself, OCD, anxiety and depression.

Long story short, after taking advice from my own private counselor, I am going to go home (we live out of state) to stay with family a few weeks and see if things calm down some. … Marriage is SO VERY hard! 😦
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l love the picture at the bottom of your message showing the two of you bike riding together with your marriage time of 7 years, 3 months, and 2 weeks. It does take a lot for two people to balance a bike or a marriage.

I hope this week you have plenty of time to think about your marriage, fun times, good times, hard times, times you laughed and played, special things you did together. If you have pictures to look at, that may bring you wonderful memories.

If this is simply a few weeks at your family to help you de-stress, I would not call it a temporary marriage separation - simply time in a different setting to reflect and de-stress.

In couples where one spouse travels a lot, there is often a wonderful “welcome home”, a “you were missed, I’m glad we’re together again”. I hope you and your dear husband find that celebration time.

Please don’t spend time discussing negative things about your spouse while away. This can simply fuel negative emotions and harm your marriage.

Check out information on Worldwide Marriage Encounter.

wwme.org/

WWME is designed to make “good marriages into great marriages”. It gives couples tools for enriching all areas of their marriage.

Invited your dear husband to join you for a beautiful weekend together. This is not counseling or sharing time with other couples. It is designed for a private time together.

Couples will listen to three presenting couples and a presenting priest share talks on many aspects of marriage and love. All of your conversations with your husband will be in the privacy of your own room.

You will find the WWME community welcoming to you and your husband. In another thread you mentions some Catholics who are rude to you because your husband is Protestant. You will both be welcome to WWME with love.

I have heard many men say “WWME was the best thing that ever happened to us.”

Our prayer candle in our home this evening is lit for you two.
 
abuse causes anxiety and depression… are you sure it’s not the verbal abuse that is causing your symptoms?

Getting out of the situation for a few weeks will be very relaxing. You can see things from a new perspective.

Trust your instincts.
 
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