C
cjsm93
Guest
Hello everyone. I have posted about my parents a couple times before, and I truly appreciate all of the prayers and kindness I have received from all of you. Thank you from the bottom of my heart.
To those who don’t know, my mother is terminally ill with a neurodegenerative disease that has no cure and no treatment to prolong life. The symptoms she experiences are similar to what someone with dementia might have, with the only difference being that it becomes very severe very quickly. It is a progressive disease with a life expectancy of about 3-6 months after diagnosis. I am caring for her mostly on my own (her sister visits in the early morning, and then I take over from there), as well as my father who is recovering from a broken hip and pelvis.
My parents and I are estranged from my older sister (my half sister from my father’s first marriage - she’s more than 23 years older than I am - I am 26 and she is almost 50). She married an abusive man who managed to turn her against us. We did try our best on and off to have somewhat of a decent relationship, but as time went on, the manipulation got worse, and she pulled away from us completely. Losing contact with my nieces, with who I was particularly close, was unbearably painful for a long time. She then went around telling our extended family that it was I who cut them out of my life. I was devastated. It was a blatant lie. Needless to say, it was a toxic relationship, and it has been six years since I have had any contact with my sister or her children.
I am not trying to portray myself as completely innocent in all of this nonsense; I failed to realize at the time that my sister is a victim of her husband and of her circumstances. Had I learned to cope differently, the outcome might have been more positive. For that, I am sorry.
As my mother’s condition progressively worsens, I feel a responsibility to make sure my sister is able to come see her. I would never get in the way of her being able to visit for as long as she needs. One of my other aunts visited this afternoon, and told me that my sister is terribly worried about me, and of course our parents. I decided that I would try to contact her (as long as her husband doesn’t intercept my messages, which used to be a frequent occurrence), but I am apprehensive and scared about what that will bring. It has been six years since we’ve spoken.
With a counselor, I have learned new ways of coping with toxic relationships. But I am now concerned that this will reopen wounds that I’ve been trying so desperately to heal. I know this is necessary, and I will get it done, but I just know this will take an additional toll on my mental health which, admittedly, is teetering on the edge right now.
If anyone has any advice on how I might be able to handle this situation, I would greatly appreciate it. But if not, then please just continue to pray for my parents during this hard time. Thank you all and God bless.
To those who don’t know, my mother is terminally ill with a neurodegenerative disease that has no cure and no treatment to prolong life. The symptoms she experiences are similar to what someone with dementia might have, with the only difference being that it becomes very severe very quickly. It is a progressive disease with a life expectancy of about 3-6 months after diagnosis. I am caring for her mostly on my own (her sister visits in the early morning, and then I take over from there), as well as my father who is recovering from a broken hip and pelvis.
My parents and I are estranged from my older sister (my half sister from my father’s first marriage - she’s more than 23 years older than I am - I am 26 and she is almost 50). She married an abusive man who managed to turn her against us. We did try our best on and off to have somewhat of a decent relationship, but as time went on, the manipulation got worse, and she pulled away from us completely. Losing contact with my nieces, with who I was particularly close, was unbearably painful for a long time. She then went around telling our extended family that it was I who cut them out of my life. I was devastated. It was a blatant lie. Needless to say, it was a toxic relationship, and it has been six years since I have had any contact with my sister or her children.
I am not trying to portray myself as completely innocent in all of this nonsense; I failed to realize at the time that my sister is a victim of her husband and of her circumstances. Had I learned to cope differently, the outcome might have been more positive. For that, I am sorry.
As my mother’s condition progressively worsens, I feel a responsibility to make sure my sister is able to come see her. I would never get in the way of her being able to visit for as long as she needs. One of my other aunts visited this afternoon, and told me that my sister is terribly worried about me, and of course our parents. I decided that I would try to contact her (as long as her husband doesn’t intercept my messages, which used to be a frequent occurrence), but I am apprehensive and scared about what that will bring. It has been six years since we’ve spoken.
With a counselor, I have learned new ways of coping with toxic relationships. But I am now concerned that this will reopen wounds that I’ve been trying so desperately to heal. I know this is necessary, and I will get it done, but I just know this will take an additional toll on my mental health which, admittedly, is teetering on the edge right now.
If anyone has any advice on how I might be able to handle this situation, I would greatly appreciate it. But if not, then please just continue to pray for my parents during this hard time. Thank you all and God bless.