Thanked for the wrong gift

[Meggie]

I’m 22 and so my cousins who are older than me are getting married off and having kids.
I’m particularly close to one aunt of mine, and when my cousin announced that his wife will have a daughter in May. I made a blanket, scarf and hat for the baby.

I called my aunt I before made them, seeing if that would be good. She said that would be great b/c no one else was doing that.

Then, after not hearing from her for several weeks she sent me a semi-personal note with a couple sentences tacked on the end thaking me for the sweater.

I didn’t make a sweater!

I know its a small thing but I worked really hard on the blanket and hat and scarf. I was actually hoping to hear from my cousin, whom I haven’t heard from in quite a while (understandably).

Next time my aunt calls, I’m sure she’ll bring up the “sweater” I never made becuase she wants to know how I made it…she is normally not like this(she’s very together and professional)…do I just fib so I don’t hurt her feelings or do I tell her that I made a blanket not a sweater (though I know she’ll probably feel hurt and stupid)?

 

[OutinChgoburbs]

According to Miss Manners, your aunt is the very person through whom you should go on this matter.

You can phrase it apologetically, as in, “Oh, I’m so sorry Cousin is confused about what I sent little Ignatz. I made a blanket, a hat and a scarf”. Aunt knows you know who taught Cousin manners, or lack thereof. Aunt goes back to Cousin and tells her to get her act together.

 

[SMHW]

Next time my aunt calls, I’m sure she’ll bring up the “sweater” I never made becuase she wants to know how I made it…she is normally not like this(she’s very together and professional)…do I just fib so I don’t hurt her feelings or do I tell her that I made a blanket not a sweater (though I know she’ll probably feel hurt and stupid)?

Did you send/give the present to your aunt to give to the baby or did you send/give it directly to your cousin?

Somehow the presents got mixed up. Maybe cards fell off or perhaps someone in charge of writing down who gave the gifts got things mixed up. It may not have been your aunt; it might have been the baby’s mother.

I think you are overestimating how your aunt will feel. With everything going on she has no reason to feel hurt or stupid. I’m guessing that YOU are the one who is feeling rather hurt. But this kind of thing happens every day and should be forgiven. Unless your aunt is an unreasonable person the worse that should happen is that she’s a little embarassed for her son and daughter-in-law.

I suggest that the next time you talk to your aunt you just say that you were a bit puzzled by the note (don’t say you were upset) because you gave a (insert description) blanket. In the event she does get upset just reassure her that it’s not a big deal and how impressed you are with your aunt’s ability to handle everything that is happening right now.

(And you will be telling your aunt the truth because that is exactly how you should feel about it.)

 

[Asbestos_Mango]

According to Miss Manners, your aunt is the very person through whom you should go on this matter.

You can phrase it apologetically, as in, “Oh, I’m so sorry Cousin is confused about what I sent little Ignatz. I made a blanket, a hat and a scarf”.

Er, I think you mean Hortense…

 

[Meggie]

Wow those are special names.

It was actually my aunt who thanked me, to clarify, she was writing me updating me on other things and tacked on a couple of sentences thanking me about the sweater and telling me she’d call later.

I sent the gift to my aunt b/c the shower was at her place. My aunt was in charge of all that.

 

[OutinChgoburbs]

Wow those are special names.

It was actually my aunt who thanked me, to clarify, she was writing me updating me on other things and tacked on a couple of sentences thanking me about the sweater and telling me she’d call later.

I sent the gift to my aunt b/c the shower was at her place. My aunt was in charge of all that.

Lots of little girls have unisex names these days.

Why is your aunt writing your cousin’s thank you letters? That confuses me. That is not a shower duty. In any event, it could have been confused amid the graciousness and “showering” of all the other gifts. Write or call your aunt and say you’d love to give her the directions, except you didn’t make the sweater; you made the hat, the scarf and the blanket, and if she’d like to know how to make those, you’d be happy to tell her. She shouldn’t be offended.