That I won't abuse God's mercy

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For the first time I am balancing my budget, in an effort to achieve financial independence and not be a drain on my father financially. Today I was earnestly praying for the grace to be more loving, and it really hit me that I have lived my life very poorly up until now. My life has been almost completely self-focused, consumed with selfish ambition and over-indulgence in things like the internet. I feel like I hardly love anyone and use the kindness of others without ever giving back. Even though I thought i was generous, I’m concerned that I was only generous because my father was subsidizing my lifestyle, and that when I become more mindful of my finances, I will become miserly, because most of my acts of charity were done out of compulsion and guilt instead of love. My religion has largely been a matter of avoiding sin, finding the minimum and doing that, more concerned with my own comfort than with actually pursuing God.

My parents worry that I am going to be alone when they die, and want me to find a person to share my life with. I have been thinking of being a secular religious, but their concern is really valid, and I just feel like I’m a shell of a person that can hardly love anyone (except for my Dad, I think I love Him very much).

I was going to see my spiritual director about this, and I wanted to ask for your prayers, that if I am corrupted, that the Lord might heal me without me abusing his mercy (it’s only been a week since my last confession and it seems I need to go there to deal with this, though I have scrupulosity so I’m not sure).
 
**Prayer “Teach Us To Love”
**
Lord, we thank Thee for all the love
that has been given to us, for the love
of family and friends, and above all
for Your love poured out upon us every
moment of our lives in steadfast glory.

Forgive our unworthiness. Forgive the
many times we have disappointed those
who love us, have failed them, wearied
them, saddened them.
Failing them we have failed You,
and hurting them we have wounded
our Savior, who, for love’s sake, died for us.
Lord, have mercy on us, and forgive.

You do not fail those who love you.
You do not change nor vary.
Teach us Your own constancy in love,
Your humility, selflessness, and generosity.

Look in pity on our small and tarnished
loving, protect, foster, and strengthen it,
that it may be less unworthy to be offered to
You and to Your children.
O Light of the world, teach us how to love.

Amen.

:signofcross:

​
 
njlisa said:
**Prayer “Teach Us To Love”
**
Lord, we thank Thee for all the love
that has been given to us, for the love
of family and friends, and above all
for Your love poured out upon us every
moment of our lives in steadfast glory.

Forgive our unworthiness. Forgive the
many times we have disappointed those
who love us, have failed them, wearied
them, saddened them.
Failing them we have failed You,
and hurting them we have wounded
our Savior, who, for love’s sake, died for us.
Lord, have mercy on us, and forgive.

You do not fail those who love you.
You do not change nor vary.
Teach us Your own constancy in love,
Your humility, selflessness, and generosity.

Look in pity on our small and tarnished
loving, protect, foster, and strengthen it,
that it may be less unworthy to be offered to
You and to Your children.
O Light of the world, teach us how to love.

Amen.

:signofcross:

​
Click to expand...
AMEN
 
Bdonoho said:
For the first time I am balancing my budget, in an effort to achieve financial independence and not be a drain on my father financially. Today I was earnestly praying for the grace to be more loving, and it really hit me that I have lived my life very poorly up until now. My life has been almost completely self-focused, consumed with selfish ambition and over-indulgence in things like the internet. I feel like I hardly love anyone and use the kindness of others without ever giving back. Even though I thought i was generous, I’m concerned that I was only generous because my father was subsidizing my lifestyle, and that when I become more mindful of my finances, I will become miserly, because most of my acts of charity were done out of compulsion and guilt instead of love. My religion has largely been a matter of avoiding sin, finding the minimum and doing that, more concerned with my own comfort than with actually pursuing God.

My parents worry that I am going to be alone when they die, and want me to find a person to share my life with. I have been thinking of being a secular religious, but their concern is really valid, and I just feel like I’m a shell of a person that can hardly love anyone (except for my Dad, I think I love Him very much).

I was going to see my spiritual director about this, and I wanted to ask for your prayers, that if I am corrupted, that the Lord might heal me without me abusing his mercy (it’s only been a week since my last confession and it seems I need to go there to deal with this, though I have scrupulosity so I’m not sure).
Click to expand...
There is always the temptation amongst good Catholics to give in to scruples. Try not to and definitely bring your concerns before your spiritual director. You sound like a lovely person who just needs some reassurance and priestly guidance.
 
What an insight you have to yourself, that is truly a blessing and one I wished I had for myself. I will pray for your requested inentions and I know that with the help of your spiritual director you will find a way to live in peace.
 
Hail Mary, full of grace, the Lord is with thee. Blessed art thou amongst women, and blessed is the fruit of thy womb, Jesus. Holy Mary, Mother of God, pray for us sinners, now and at the hour of our death. Amen.

St. Therese of Lisieux, Pray for us.
 
You are growing in faith. Praying for God’s blessings upon you.
 
Saint Michael, the archangel, defend us in battle, be our defense against the wickedness and snares of the devil, may God rebuke him, we humbly pray. And do you, O’ Prince of the Heavenly host, by the power of God thrust into Hell Satan and all the other evil spirits who prowl about the world for the ruin of souls.

Amen.

†

Our Father who art in Heaven, hallowed be thy name.

Thy kingdom come, thy will be done on Earth as it is in Heaven.

Give us this day our daily bread.

And forgive us our trespasses, as we forgive those who trespass against us.

And lead us not into temptation, but deliver us from evil.

Amen.

†

Hail Mary, full of grace, the Lord is with thee.

Blessed are you among women, and blessed is the fruit of your womb Jesus.

Holy Mary, Mother of God, pray for us sinners, now and at the hour of our death.

Amen.

†
 
njlisa said:
**Prayer “Teach Us To Love”
**
Lord, we thank Thee for all the love
that has been given to us, for the love
of family and friends, and above all
for Your love poured out upon us every
moment of our lives in steadfast glory.

Forgive our unworthiness. Forgive the
many times we have disappointed those
who love us, have failed them, wearied
them, saddened them.
Failing them we have failed You,
and hurting them we have wounded
our Savior, who, for love’s sake, died for us.
Lord, have mercy on us, and forgive.

You do not fail those who love you.
You do not change nor vary.
Teach us Your own constancy in love,
Your humility, selflessness, and generosity.

Look in pity on our small and tarnished
loving, protect, foster, and strengthen it,
that it may be less unworthy to be offered to
You and to Your children.
O Light of the world, teach us how to love.

Amen.

:signofcross:

​
Click to expand...
:amen:

:signofcross:
 
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